The Student Room Group

am i being used??

Ok so i've been seeing this guy, he's an ex of mine. We split up a while back and he got with someone else. Before he got with her, we'd still been sleeping together. After he split up with her, we started sleeping together again. He knows i regret finishing him so much and that I still love him more than anything. He thinks I'm going to finish him again, so is reluctant to get back with me. The thing is, 6 months down the line when i've had offers off loads of people, I'm still only after him. I know I must sound like a little kid with a school girl crush, but it is more than that.

Anyway, last night we were arguing over how he doesn't seem interested and that and I was quite p***** off about that. he said he was, but him going back to uni was an issue. I said well it wasn't last time, why should it be now. He was like, well if you think it would work then maybe we should give it a second try (well, third). I said i didnt want to unless he really wanted to and he said he did. He then said we should meet up for a meal, so we did last night. However. Nothing was said about the relationship at all.

Am I being used, or is he just confused about everything?? Sorry bout the long rant about guys again!
Reply 1
Im telling you men aint worth the hassell half the time! But yet we cant live without them!! So annoying. I had a prob a bit like this with my ex and in the end it was peeing me off so much i sat him down and talked about it and actually got sence out of him. If there one thing ive learnt laterly is that dont waste time on a guy who isnt sure about what he wants
Reply 2
Anonymous
Ok so i've been seeing this guy, he's an ex of mine. We split up a while back and he got with someone else. Before he got with her, we'd still been sleeping together. After he split up with her, we started sleeping together again. He knows i regret finishing him so much and that I still love him more than anything. He thinks I'm going to finish him again, so is reluctant to get back with me. The thing is, 6 months down the line when i've had offers off loads of people, I'm still only after him. I know I must sound like a little kid with a school girl crush, but it is more than that.

Anyway, last night we were arguing over how he doesn't seem interested and that and I was quite p***** off about that. he said he was, but him going back to uni was an issue. I said well it wasn't last time, why should it be now. He was like, well if you think it would work then maybe we should give it a second try (well, third). I said i didnt want to unless he really wanted to and he said he did. He then said we should meet up for a meal, so we did last night. However. Nothing was said about the relationship at all.

Am I being used, or is he just confused about everything?? Sorry bout the long rant about guys again!



I think he's hurt and confused, and if you broke the relationship; he probably did feel for you lots but now that you're coming back together for the third time, it looks like he's not sure whether to commit himself into it again. He's scared of getting hurt again...:frown:

Been in this situation before and regretted it. I really liked this lad, but I didn't know what I wanted in the relationship so I made an excuse about education. The next day, I realised how much I like him and we told each other how we felt and things. He felt the same way; but didn't want to get hurt again...

Were just good friends now and we'll see what the futures hold... haha that sounds dead soppy...:p:




EDIT: Confront him face to face once again and have a serious talk with him about how you feel; if he doesn't feel the same way. Then leave him alone; cut all contact from him, try to aviod seeing pictures of him.... it's hard I know but time does really heal a broken heart.



:suith: Sezkin:suith:
I think what Sezkin said makes more sense, he's probably hurt and confused and not sure what he wants, but i think what you two need to do is have a talk and decide what you two do really want, in the mean time i would suggest stop sleeping with each other.
Reply 4
If you was put in his situation, where he ended it with you (I know i've been there before) it absolutely hurts you for life. If someone ended it with you, wouldnt you be scared that he'd hurt you again? I know lads are confusing at times, but what hurts us must of the time, hurts them too, and as girls, we seem to forget that.

At the end of the day he just wants to protect himself. You should give him time and stop arguing with him to try and get your point across. Instead, convince him that he's who you want to be with and losing him the first time was the biggest mistake ever. Arguing with him is not going to make that point whatsoever, and you arent being used, but the poor guy's confused.
Reply 5
Hi
I went through something similar with my ex.
We went out for a year and half and we were best friends. I finished it and felt awful for a few weeks. We then went on holiday together with a loads of friends (two weeks after we'd split up- we'd agreed to be friends and the holiday was booked). On holiday we ended up kissing etc again.
I regretted splitting up with him and wrote him a letter saying what I felt (because some things are easier to write than say).
He never gave me a straight answer and started going out with another girl.
It took me 8 months to get over him, party because I was never given a straight answer so kept hoping but I don't regret it now. Someone who can't give me a straight answer before going out with someone else isnt worth my time
Basically, all I'm saying is, don't sleep with him any more, tell him how you feel one more time either in letter or in person and then leave it up to him. He could say yes and it will all be good. He could say no and then you have to start getting over him and it will be painful and take time but you will. And he could give you no answer which is the worse of the three. If this happens, he doesn't deserve you
Sorry if this hasn't been helpful xxx

EDIT: but don't hastle him for an answer. Tell him and then give him time. If you don't have an answer after a while, then you know what that means
Reply 6
Well i've told him how i feel and that and how i want to be with him and it's the biggest mistake of my life and everything. i text him earlier saying i needed to know cos im in limbo and dont know what to do with my life. he text back sayin he cant live without me etc, but that was it. I dont know what to do about it, i spoke to a friend who said i just need to get it sorted. i well dont know what i can do because i know what i want, but i obv cant make him make up his mind