Has anyone else been lonely this summer?

I'm off to uni in a few weeks and have found myself really lonely over the summer. All my friends seem to have moved on from our school days already and I've hardly seen anyone. It's got me down a bit, I feel like I don't have any proper friends anymore.
I really, really hope I make new, solid friendships once I get to uni, because loneliness is the thing I fear most. :frown:

Reply 1

username47781

20

It's very normal to feel like this, but once you get to uni there is lots of opportunities to meet new people.

Reply 2

beach surf babe

14

Yeah same here. I live in quite a rural place and it can be quite difficult to get out. I wasn't working either so couldn't really afford to go to many places.

Reply 3

bedbug

14

Yep I'm the same. My two best mates live a road apart, while I live 20 mins away. They therefore spend the whole time together without me. They don't bother inviting me to stuff cos I don't live close. Sucks but it's the way it is.

Reply 4

Clarence

14

I was quite lonley at the beginning of the summer but i met my fantastic bf and now it's amazing. Plus, you have University to look forward to so cheer up chuck!

Reply 5

matt@internet

12

I've been lonely since I left secondary school two years ago.

Reply 6

Richy_Boi

12

University isn't going to turn around your social life, you're not there that much. You'll still have the long boring summers, unless you do something about it.

Make an effort with people, learn to drive.

Accepted, i doubt anything will be as social as school days but you can always try.

That said, i'm sat here, home alone on a tuesday lol. Grrrrreat.

Reply 7

generalebriety

16

I've been lonely every summer.

Reply 8

username47781

20

Nothing to stop them getting to know people while they are at uni especially during freshers week.

Reply 9

generalebriety

16

I think the point was that even if you get to know people at uni you still have long summer holidays away from these people.

Reply 10

Richy_Boi

12

Indeed.

Reply 11

TKR

15

nope

Reply 12

Clarence

14

Get a job?

Reply 13

fettucini

1

Cheer up guys! My best mate lives about 100 miles away from me and I only see her once a year but when we do see each other then it's really good. I survive by making long phone calls/emails, it may not sound like it but even just talking to someone on the phone can give you a nice buzz of happiness-try it! Also, if you can't drive why not get public transport or get one of your friends to pick you up? That way you'll be able to get out and about and see people relatively easily. Loneliness is a bit like depression because they can both be cured by using the same techniques, make small efforts to get out more and change your environment and you'll reap the benefits! Don't forget, the summer holidays are almost over now and you'll meet loads of new people really soon, you can never know what or who you'll find! Maybe you'll meet an amazing guy like Clarence has or maybe you'll make some lifelong buddies that have everything in common with you.

Reply 14

L i b

19

Yeah, you only really get lonely if you're not doing anything and annoyed at the people who are.

Unfortunately for me, I'm a bone-idle arse...

Reply 15

matt@internet

12

generalebriety

I think the point was that even if you get to know people at uni you still have long summer holidays away from these people.

Not necessarily. I'm thinking there's a good chance that one of the people you befriend at uni is going to be from your home area, even if you never met them before. If they don't already, I think it would be a good idea to put people from the same area near each other in halls. Not in the same flat but mabye a few flats down, as I doubt the only people you meet in halls are the people in your block. I'm gonna be in block E at James Bailley Park in Leeds. If anyone from Sheffield/Rotherham ever wants to meet me, feel free. I also know that a guy in my geology class at college applied for the same course as me, so, provided he got on the course, I will know someone from Rotherham, which neigbours Sheffield. It would be nice to have someone from uni who I can meet up with when I go back home at the holidays'. Especially as I don't know anyone around here anyway, or anyone who I hang around with much.

Reply 16

Tiddletale

Bleh I think this happens to most ppl.

During my gap year loads of my "friends" just seem to have disappeared into thin air and I only meet up occasionally with the people i was closest to.

It doesnt bother me much though, I have accepted that people will always walk in and walk out of your life and I am looking forward to meeting new ppl at uni :smile:

Reply 17

Anonymous #2

I fell out with all my best mates this summer, guys who I have known for years I have only kept my really close ones and there are like 3 of those. I have met other people, but they happen to be really good friends with my ex gf so I dont hang round with them that much cos they hang out with her a lot and it gets me down cos i hate not doing anything.

Reply 18

That artistic one

1

i feel lonely even though i have 3 close friends here....and my other friends live in different countries and one of them is the closest person to me, who lives on the other side of the world. even with my friends here, i still feel lonely sometimes...but i do like my space too

Reply 19

khil

15

Anonymous

I'm off to uni in a few weeks and have found myself really lonely over the summer. All my friends seem to have moved on from our school days already and I've hardly seen anyone. It's got me down a bit, I feel like I don't have any proper friends anymore.
I really, really hope I make new, solid friendships once I get to uni, because loneliness is the thing I fear most. :frown:

No friends at all is better than having crappy "friends" who make you feel crap, or complicated friends who confuse you and make you feel crap. I've had friends from all 3 categories - real friends, crappy "friends" and complicated friends.

Think of it this way - it's better now that you find out that they're not your friends. You can move on and make better friends. You'll meet loads of people and find people whose friendship will last a life-time. Loneliness is kinda the thing I fear most too, and I'm dealing with the faded ache of an ex, a complicated best friend who's confused me so much and made me feel inadequate that I no longer know if I wanna be friends with him, another best friend who's increasingly growing to be with her fiance more and more, but I can hardly criticise as I fell into the same habit at one point; yet another best friend whose parents dislike me which means we only have about half an hour every few months together to meet in secret in school. Last but not least, a bf who unintentionally messed me about 1 month ago and I still can't learn to trust again despite him not showing any signs of repeating what he did.

Then along with all that - I have perhaps 3 solid friendships, 1 of which is a newly growing one. None of which are from uni, actually.

Sometimes I think it's better not to have many friends, but only have the 1 or 2, than to have many confusing ones.

Has anyone else been lonely this summer?

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