The Student Room Group

Some weird socio problem thing

Hey,

I got this problem right, and it's really getting to me now. I've always been shy and never out-going, but all my friends are, and I find it really hard to chat to new people, and it takes for ever to get to know someone really well, which in order to do so you have to talk to them, which I dont like doing cos I dont know them very well! It's a very big vicious circle that I can't break! I hate hugging people as I never seem to be able to do it properly and dont know what to do, and jus find it uncomfortable, but everyone seems to do it, and obviously if they go to hug you then I have to hug back, but still hate it. The whole thing is interlinked and I dont know how to sort it. My best mate has started to go out with this dude who I kind of know and should really get to know better so we can all get a long, but don't know how to go about improving our friendship. I'm quite comfortable sitting jus listening and joining in occassionally in conversation as that's what I've always done, but I know I've got to make more of an effort if I'm ever gonna improve, I just don't know how! And I really do want to! And it's harder to chat to guys for some reason. Any help appreciated! And thanks if you've read on this far!

Reply 1

I would say all friends hugging is perfectly normal but if you are really that uncomfortable about it then perhaps tell them.

The best thing really is to be yourself.

Reply 2

I know! I agree with being myself, and I like it! But I just get the feeling cos I'm quite laid back with what we do and let other people make the decisions, that people find me hard to get along with. It probably is paranoia to be honest, but I'd still prefer to be more confident in talking to people.

Reply 3

Nothing wrong with being laid back, only trouble is when you do meet new people and want to get to know them, the only way of doing that is communication.

Reply 4

lol Buddy, wait-a blow your identity....you didn't use anon for the second post :smile:

All I can say is that many millions of people share your experiences...it's natural.

Reply 5

Yeah... you just explained exactly how I feel (only from a guys perspective)..

As of yet, I'm still stumped... but I'm just hoping that being thrown into the deep end will help me get more accustomed to it..

Reply 6

ooooh im so happy to meet you! i know a guy exactly like this. i just assumed he was unfriendly/weird/didnt like me. but now i see he is shy!

i'm not shy. however, i can understand your hugging thing. it freaks me out when random people hug me. i also dislike hugging and kissing and PDAs.

my advice is just do whatever you like, wear what you like. i think you are trying too hard to please poeple then wondering why you arent like them. have some independance. do something weirtd and scary like skydiving and you'll soon see you are a strong girl! get in there!