I cannot let my gf go

Ignore them, some people will take time to listen

Look, i know this is hard to hear but there is no point whatsoever you standing and waiting around and telling her that if she wants you back you have your arms open because she'll use you the second time.

It seems to me like she's walked all over you because you've let her. Use this as experience, what she wants to do with her life now on and the reasons behind it is all her own business and you dont need to worry about it.

In future, dont let a girlfriend in from the start, make sure you let her know how you feel but only after she tells you how she feels - MAKE her tell you, that way you can always say that if she breaks your heart and uses you, that "you told me you liked me last week".

Just move on, tell her you wont have the time of day for her when she comes back because otherwise you'll be hoping for a day that may never come and just let yourself down.

There are people out there that admire how kind and sensitive you are, and will not do this to you.

Well, unlike the previous posters, I'll *try* and offer some advice. *EDIT* Except Amywalters. Sorry, didn't see your post until I'd finished writing mine

I'm really sorry for you dude - I can understand to an extent how you feel. I'd agree, it was harsh of her not to tell you, and finding out the way you did is terrible - if she wanted to break up, she should've told you. Forgetting is very hard - I know, I'm trying to forget about the person I love, but I won't go into that right now. I've found that staying in contact with her as friends really helps, but that's just my experience, and as I said my situation is different to yours. If she does come back, I don't know what to say - you evidently do have strong feelings for her, but if she's done this once, then she might do it again.

I'm really sorry to hear that dude, and wish I could offer some more advice

-Saruman

I agree about "use you". I do think she was using me but can't say that for sure. So do you mean that generally a girl should tell how SHE feels first or is that what should happen in my case? I am trying not to hope for a day when she wants to come back, but I am just keeping in mind that it might happen after she thinks about what she did to me.

Well, unlike the previous posters, I'll *try* and offer some advice. *EDIT* Except Amywalters. Sorry, didn't see your post until I'd finished writing mine

I'm really sorry for you dude - I can understand to an extent how you feel. I'd agree, it was harsh of her not to tell you, and finding out the way you did is terrible - if she wanted to break up, she should've told you. Forgetting is very hard - I know, I'm trying to forget about the person I love, but I won't go into that right now. I've found that staying in contact with her as friends really helps, but that's just my experience, and as I said my situation is different to yours. If she does come back, I don't know what to say - you evidently do have strong feelings for her, but if she's done this once, then she might do it again.

I'm really sorry to hear that dude, and wish I could offer some more advice

-Saruman

i read it. and i think you're being pretty harsh on her! its not her fault that she fell for someone else. it happens! ok its hard for you and she should have told you sooner, but she probably wanted to make sure she definately wanted to end things with you first! shes quite likely feeling a bit confused.

i read it. and i think you're being pretty harsh on her! its not her fault that she fell for someone else. it happens! ok its hard for you and she should have told you sooner, but she probably wanted to make sure she definately wanted to end things with you first! shes quite likely feeling a bit confused.

Either you can't read or you have a really crappy sense of morals.

She was two timing him.

If she wanted to be with someone else she should have broken up with him instead of cheating on him. "Oh I'm confused...so confused that I have clearly lost the ability to be faithful and remember that cheating is wrong...poor me.." What rubbish. She's selfish. She wanted to have her cake and eat it.

Why the hell do people condone this sort of thing. Seriously.

Yeah, it does happen a lot in life. I had a chat with my Mum yesterday night. And she told my her teenage stories. I realise it happens.
But it could happen differently I think. I had to pull every single word from her mouth before I could know the truth...

excuse me im not saying she was in the right! i can read and i dont have a crappy sense of morals so just shut up. of course she shouldnt have cheated on him and she shoudl have told him earler (as i said ). im saying that if you think about this from her point of view, she'd have had to end things over text as it was in a different country. thats not exactly easy to do. she should have done because its wasted this guys time and its strung him along, but i cant say id fancy telling my bf over text that id met someone else. id much rather wait till i got back home and told him properly and explained it. much less cruel in a way. yeah she didnt do that either, but i would have though shed have intended to, but never plucked up the strength to do it.

Sorry OP but she's a bitch. She cheated on you, for a long time, and lied about it and led you on. She is horrible. Don't try and get her back; she doesn't love you and she'd do it again. I wouldn't give her the privelige of having you as a friend either.

Well, she did love me, and she did tell me that. But I think either her feelings for that guy are stronger or she just lost feelings for me.

For once, I agree with bunthulhu.


She could have phoned him. Or told him beforehand about her (then ex-)boyfriend. Given him some dignity, at least. Also, how do you know what she intended to do? You might have perfectly good morals which you stick to but that doesn't mean this girl wasn't clearly a complete bitch.