Well basically I'm feeling ****, hence this post, but I'm going to rant about cleverness, and exams, and spiteful, cunning ppl. If anyone out there can empathise with me, then I'd be very grateful.
Today was the first day of 6thform, I go to an all girls' school. My gcse results were 3a*s, 6a's and and 2 b's. Now I thought these were pretty good, nothing amazing but you know: solid grades. I come back and so many people have fanstatic grades. These people with no opinions, no real intelligence or a passion for a subject are getting 8, 9, 10 a*s, simply because they have pushy parents, and a tutor and a desire to go to Oxford/Camebridge etc. Now, I am not a stupid person, I thought, I don't work particularly hard, but I read avidly, I like to learn about new things etc (I just hate revising so don't do enough). These people who got fantastic marks always say they don't do much work etc, and I know it's a load of crap, but still how can people lie so much? I feel so stupid because of my results, even though I know there good, because of where I go.
These people who will cut their mothers throat just to get good grades are going to do better in me in life probably simply because I am honest and don't spend my whole life worrying about exams. I wish I could sometimes be like them and fall in line with the rest of this fast paced society so that life would probably be more kind to me. And other times I think to myself thank ***** I am not like them.
Additional bitching for anyone else feeling pissy or upset whatever:
There is this one girl, who is quite attractive, quite popular, quite clever. She got 8a*s and 2 a's. Now, she is the biggest bitch ever. These are the kind of things she has said in the past:
"it's hard in subjects like latin because everyone who does them is clever and gets good grades, whereas in maths and english, thank god for the stupid people in comprehensives who bring the boundries down"
*after comforting a girl who screwed up her exams* "don't you hate having to be fake to stupid people who screwed up?"
"I don't think I'm pretty or anything, but guys just seem to like me"
"I'd never go out with a guy for more than 6 months, cos then you have to be majorly comitted and you'll be going out with them for like 3 years or something stupid like that."
ARGHHHHH!!!!!! I hate her and all the teachers and about half the year love her.
PLUS: nearly all my closest friends have left this school so now I have to hang out with the complete weirdo's (who are actually quite nice and funny, yay what does that say about me lol) OR hang out with the posh girls who are like "lets go play hocky gals, its so fun"
having said that, i love all my close friends and am so glad I have them. If anyone reads this, I'll love you haha xxx