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Saying 'I love you' for the first time

I'm terrified! I've been with my current boyfriend for 5 months and I've had a strong urge to tell him that I've fallen in love with him, just so he knows how much he means to me. He's kind of shy and I'm his first girlfriend so I'm not expecting him to say those words for ages yet, but I'm scared of making the first move. He's always very affectionate and romantic etc and he wants to go long-term but stops short at the 'love' word...I don't necessarily need to hear it from him but I also don't want to freak him out by telling him before he's ready. Should I just let him decide the pace of the relationship? I'm tired of having to hold back all the time...help :frown:

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Reply 1

Squelchy

Tell him. If you're his first girlfriend then I bet he's head over heels, as generally people are with their first partner. I bet he's way more scared to say it than you are, and as you're the experienced partner, he's waiting for you to say it first.

Reply 2

ciderpeter

Say what you think... the worst that can happen is he goes bright red or something....

The worst thing in a relationship is to hold stuff back...

Reply 3

Zafda

hmm.
if its that hard to say it to him straight, write him a letter and put in 'i love you.'
it may make it easier to say it directly to him when you see him then.

Reply 4

Squelchy

Or simply play the Stevie Wonder song I Just Called To Say I Love You to him and sing along with it.

Reply 5

Eccentric Man

Squelchy

Or simply play the Stevie Wonder song I Just Called To Say I Love You to him and sing along with it.

If I was him I'd much prefer Righteously by Lucinda Williams http://www.anysonglyrics.com/lyrics/l/lucinda-williams/righteously.htm

Reply 6

jessx

I know it's really hard to say, even if you want to. It took me nearly half a year to be able to get that little phrase out to my ex, even though he told me the first day we started going out, ha. A song seems like a good idea :smile:

Reply 7

lilac!!

omg!! i still remember my first time! i was shaking and still am when i say it to him, but it is hard, i think you should say it to him when its a special occasion! it would a very romantic thing to say and build his courage to say it is well! :smile:

good luck!!
xx

Reply 8

Anthonyjm71

Zafda

hmm.
if its that hard to say it to him straight, write him a letter and put in 'i love you.'
it may make it easier to say it directly to him when you see him then.

thats great advice and a good idea. :smile:

Reply 9

fairycakes

before me and my now ex (for complicated reasons) said it, i kinda made this whole speech like it's awful how kids now days just say it and they don't mean it etc etc...so we had to go thru a couple months of 'i really really really like you's bfore we actually said it. not sure i'd advise it...! but when we did say it, we really meant it, cos we had a while to get used to the idea so wen we said those words it felt so gd!

xxxx

Reply 10

egg_soup

me and my boyfriend said i love you after one month, and we are first proper gf and bf for each other. now were engaged!

Reply 11

zav

Say it, he will probably like it even if he can't bring himself to say it.

Reply 12

squigaletta

i told my bf on like our 3rd date or something, i know thats stupidly fast but we'd been friends for ages. and i was so scared but i just knew i couldnt go on without him knowing so had to say it, and he didnt hear what i said...and i refused to repeat it, that didnt go as planned

Reply 13

kyanya

I said it very near the beginning of our relationship, but I was pretty certain of how I felt, and it has got a lot stronger since then. But I think the main factor that made me say it then was that I was sure of how he felt. It didn't occur to me that he might freak out and not feel the same way back, because I could tell that he really liked me and I just knew that what I wanted to tell him wouldn't scare him off. If anything, it brought us closer together.

Good luck with it. The way I see it, what's the worst that could happen? If he freaked out and it broke you up (god forbid), he probably wasn't everything you wanted him to be in the first place.

Reply 14

Anthonyjm71

zav

Say it, he will probably like it even if he can't bring himself to say it.

agree thats true. :smile:

Reply 15

rave_on

ma bf sed it wen we were drunk, so unromantic lol it was like come on u kno i love u rele n i just took it as a drunk thing then the next day he sed did i say i loved u last nyt n i was like yea, n he was like what did u say, n i was like i sed u were drunk lol n he sed well i do. o brill. moment not rele there haha

Reply 16

Figaro123

Just spill the beans. He won't run a mile, if he would then he wouldn't be dating you.

Reply 17

Anonymous #1

Thanks for all the replies :smile:

the letter idea is sweet, but I want to be able to see his reaction when he knows I love him! :p:

The only thing bugging me now is wondering if he thinks of love in a different way - I've heard some guys see it to being equal to a proposal, lol. I doubt he's like that but being new to the whole girlfriend thing might overwhelm him a little. If the time is right next time I see him I'll give it a shot!

Reply 18

redshoes4

i can see y you have touble with saying i love you for the first time. i am seeing a guy who said i love you very quickly and he says it a lot but even when i did did think i was in love with him i was terrified of saying it- and didnt say it untill i had moved away (and then tld him in an email- i know slightly stupid) and now am really scared of saying it out loud to him as we are supposed to have separated but havent really and think he might freak out! personally i wished i had just told him sooner as it would make everythng easier at the time and now. when he said he loved me i felt so special and and just that i wanted to be with him more, so if you think he really likes you just go for it x

Reply 19

macintosh

the first time my boyf told me he loved me was as he was leaving my house and i was sort of in the process of shutting the door so he said it and i slammed the door in his face, haha.

he saw the funny side, it just took me by surprise so i opened the door and asked him what he said and he told me again and it was lovely :smile:

but yeah go for it, if it's how you feel then why not? it's a bit scary with someone who you're not sure is at the same stage as you but it's a risk that's worth taking

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