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Spoilt children

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Reply 20
Original post by Emaemmaemily
A child from a rich family "being spoilt financially" is not actually "being spoilt" in my opinion.
For me, being spoilt is when a child does not appreciate what they have, have no gratitude, expect special treatment or to receive gifts for no reason, etc.

I don't think this is a trait just for only children though. Lots of only children are brought up properly, so that they appreciate what they have and don't turn into brats. Just as lots of children who have siblings are not.

To answer the question, I have no idea why some parents defend making their children spoilt, as if it's a good thing to do for them.
Yes, looking after your children emotionally and financially is important. It's important that they have everything that they need, it's important that they feel loved and wanted, and it's important for them to get "treats" sometimes... But it is also important to teach them discipline, and to not expect to be given things when they haven't earnt them. It's important to teach them to appreciate what they have, to appreciate what people do for them, and to teach them to have empathy for others and want to help.
Also, they need to be taught to be independent and self-sufficient to a certain extent. Needing constant attention and not being able to be okay in their own company sometimes is a bad trait, and isn't going to set them up well for life.

This.

My older brother and his wife spoils their kids rotten. He gets them 'presents' for no reason so their children are always expecting gifts that are in excess of £100, no matter what time of the year it is (just to make a distinction between a child saying they want something, which is normal, as opposed to "when are you going to buy me X toy?" and expecting it).

They have no ability to discipline their children and say no to them, so the kids will do things like: destroy/damage belongings, not listen to their elders and intentionally disobey instructions, have a belief that everything is theirs, and so on. All the kids have to do is turn on the waterworks and they know their parents will yield within a minute. It doesn't help that both my brother and his wife encourage such behaviour by constantly letting them off the hook because of things like "they're just kids" or "you'll understand when you have your own children" or actually praising them for being disobedient as a sign of them being smart/cute/funny. It's just excuse after excuse.

I don't even want to get started about how the nearly 4-year-old makes dog noises, pretends he can't talk, pretends he can't put on his own shoes/clothes (even though he can if you force him), still drinks age 1-2 baby formula and wears nappies. My brother plays that off with "he's still a baby". No, he's four. Hell, it's only in the last 4-6 months that he's learned to say goodbye to his mother without throwing a huge tantrum and crying for hours.
Reply 21
Nothing wrong with spoiling children and providing them with a good life. As long as you raise them properly and teach them proper values and ensure they grow up to be polite, disciplined, well-mannered, civilised and respectful towards others, it's not a problem to spoil them.
Reply 22
Original post by Tyrion_Lannister
What's the definition of spoilt? Seems to be used by people who are jealous of rich families

There is a difference, spoilt would be basically "Daddy's little girl" a person who has got what ever they wanted through the life and not had to really work to et it (many kids have to save bday and xmas money to buy something they want, spoilt kids might get it all bought for them by their parents)

They could also get arrogant, think of kids who grew up with royality
Reply 23
Original post by Tyrion_Lannister
People moaning about only children getting more stuff is stupid. If you have 3 kids you get them say, a trampoline between them. Are you gonna say you can't have it to an only child because they are an only child? Stupid


Furthermore children from sibling groups can actually end up getting more stuff than onlies.

What can happen is that one child of a sibling group needs a lot more attention or resources at some point so you end up buying stuff for the other(s) in order to compensate and show them that they aren't forgotten or thought less of.

In essence though I think parents will spoil their children or not irrespective of however many they have. I think it is down to the nature of the parent(s) not the child(ren) or how many siblings there are.
Original post by Tyrion_Lannister
People moaning about only children getting more stuff is stupid. If you have 3 kids you get them say, a trampoline between them. Are you gonna say you can't have it to an only child because they are an only child? Stupid


It's not just about the stuff you get it's about how you behave afterwards! Usually kids who get everything they want end up rotten. I have a sister and she's bratty af unlike me. We come from the same household but since she's younger, she got spoiled a lot more and now is a very disrespectful person.
Reply 25
Original post by Tyrion_Lannister
What's the definition of spoilt? Seems to be used by people who are jealous of rich families


What? I come from a very rich family - not to worry. So I'm not envious of them; just talking personality-wise

Spoilt can mean a spectrum of things - disrespectful, arrogant, rude children..... not those who can have whatever they wish due to their rich parents :toofunny: - I see it as their parents' business - if they want to get them expensive things, I have no problem with that.
(edited 9 years ago)

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