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Will I be able to make friends at university?

Hey,

So basically my story is that through the first years of secondary school I was always relatively popular and had lots of friends, that kind of diminished as I got to the end and I left secondary school in year 11 with pretty much no friends. It's kind of hard to explain why, but I would say a lot of it was to do with my sexuality and the fact that I hadn't come to terms with it and didn't want people to know I was gay - there was a group of girls who I got along well with but I thought being friends with only girls would make me seem 'gay' so I stopped hanging around with them which understandably led to my friendship with them deteriorating, and instead hung around with a group of males who I didn't really get along with and didn't have close friendships at the end.

I went to a different sixth form college to do A Levels and I was hoping to make friends there, but it didn't really happen as there wasn't much opportunity, I spoke to people and made acquaintances but nobody I would really consider a friend.

Now I'm moving out to University I'm really hoping I'm able to make proper friends, but my question is does it seem likely I'll be able to? I actually wouldn't say I have poor social skills but the fact that I've been left friendless for the past few years has diminished my confidence which I'm scared will prevent me from making friends - furthermore, even if I do get along well with people will they not see the fact that I have no friends atm as off putting and not want to make friends with me as a result?

It's something I'm really worried about as uni approaches so would be really grateful if anyone could help me out or give me any advice, or if anyone had been in the same position before that would be great.

tl;dr I currently have no friends, will I be able to make amy at uni?
no one will know you don't have any friends babe - don't be worried at all :smile: just take every opportunity to be sociable , and if people give you a weird look , you haven't lost anything

most people are in the same position - they're worried about making friends , and they'll be glad your sociable and making an effort
Reply 2
Original post by hotliketea
no one will know you don't have any friends babe - don't be worried at all :smile: just take every opportunity to be sociable , and if people give you a weird look , you haven't lost anything

most people are in the same position - they're worried about making friends , and they'll be glad your sociable and making an effort


I guess they wouldn't know initially but would people not find it off putting if they got to know me better and found out? Thank you for the advice, I will definitely try my very best to make friends at every possible opportunity!
Original post by Anonymous
Hey,

So basically my story is that through the first years of secondary school I was always relatively popular and had lots of friends, that kind of diminished as I got to the end and I left secondary school in year 11 with pretty much no friends. It's kind of hard to explain why, but I would say a lot of it was to do with my sexuality and the fact that I hadn't come to terms with it and didn't want people to know I was gay - there was a group of girls who I got along well with but I thought being friends with only girls would make me seem 'gay' so I stopped hanging around with them which understandably led to my friendship with them deteriorating, and instead hung around with a group of males who I didn't really get along with and didn't have close friendships at the end.

I went to a different sixth form college to do A Levels and I was hoping to make friends there, but it didn't really happen as there wasn't much opportunity, I spoke to people and made acquaintances but nobody I would really consider a friend.

Now I'm moving out to University I'm really hoping I'm able to make proper friends, but my question is does it seem likely I'll be able to? I actually wouldn't say I have poor social skills but the fact that I've been left friendless for the past few years has diminished my confidence which I'm scared will prevent me from making friends - furthermore, even if I do get along well with people will they not see the fact that I have no friends atm as off putting and not want to make friends with me as a result?

It's something I'm really worried about as uni approaches so would be really grateful if anyone could help me out or give me any advice, or if anyone had been in the same position before that would be great.

tl;dr I currently have no friends, will I be able to make amy at uni?


Why don't you see uni as an opportunity for a fresh start?

No one will know anything about you, or how many friends you do or don't have (plus everyone starts uni in the same boat: not knowing anyone).

Maybe just try to look at yourself and reflect on you, if you're worried about making new friends try not to let that come across, just try to smile and "fake it" :smile: there'll be hundreds of people at Uni, so out of all those people you're bound to make at least one friend!

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