This discussion is now closed.
Check out other Related discussions
- my bf addicted to weed/vapes and i hate it
- Is this fair?
- What actually is the safe number of UK alcohol units?
- How can I get my brother to stop nagging me?
- HeLP PLZ I NEED IT
- Secondhand Smoke
- how many people here smoke?
- My boyfriend is addicted to smoking weed
- Sunak quietly drops 'smoking policy'
- Vaping ‘linked to cancer and damages body like smoking’
- Let’s play a game would you rather and why ?
- My girlfriend Vaped and smoked Weed for a month and kept it away from me
- Wanting to quit beer and weed Altogether
- Dating and turn offs
- advice on loving somebody with an addiction
- Is this harassing the police
- Why am I suddenly being left out?
- stressed potential medical student
- Tremors
- Next door neighbour being awkward over changing fence
Pushing to stop smoking
Scenario:
- Person X hates smoking. Can't stand it.
- Person Y loves smoking. Has done for the last 4 years.
Person X starts pushing for the relationship to get more serious.
4 months down the road, person X starts making a huge deal about smoking, and saying person Y is selfish for smoking when they know person X hates it.
Person Y says they were smoking before, and if person X really hated it so much, they shouldn't have even come over to a smoker anyway.
Who's right?
- Person X hates smoking. Can't stand it.
- Person Y loves smoking. Has done for the last 4 years.
Person X starts pushing for the relationship to get more serious.
4 months down the road, person X starts making a huge deal about smoking, and saying person Y is selfish for smoking when they know person X hates it.
Person Y says they were smoking before, and if person X really hated it so much, they shouldn't have even come over to a smoker anyway.
Who's right?
Reply 2
If person X cant stand smoking knew that person Y was already a smoker then person X really shouldn't have started pushing the relationship before bringing up person Y's smoking.
Reply 4
Y is right, and let me guess, thats you lol. It pretty obvious from your wording.
Reply 6
Person X starts pushing
person X starts making a huge deal...
lol, but even if it had been unbaised, your still not the one in the wrong.
person X starts making a huge deal...
lol, but even if it had been unbaised, your still not the one in the wrong.
Reply 8
I don't think there's particular wrong on either side. Person X naturally wants person Y to give up a habit which they dislike, and which is harmful to person Y. I see nothing wrong in person X wanting person Y to change a habit like that, since they are going out with person Y. I also see nothing wrong in the person Y refusing to give up, since they are at liberty to make a choice regardless of person Xs wishes.
However, since person Y is unwilling to stop smoking, person X is going to have to decide whether that is so much of an issue that it will affect the relationship. Essentially, there is a conflict of interest and if neither person X nor person Y are willing to compromise, there is a real problem there, which may lead to person X and person Y feeling that a relationship is no longer possible.
However, since person Y is unwilling to stop smoking, person X is going to have to decide whether that is so much of an issue that it will affect the relationship. Essentially, there is a conflict of interest and if neither person X nor person Y are willing to compromise, there is a real problem there, which may lead to person X and person Y feeling that a relationship is no longer possible.
Reply 10
To play devil's advocate here for a moment... in the heat of meeting someone and falling for them one is often all too ready to overlook "flaws" and to go along with the excitement and whatnot. Ideally of course people would maintain a consistent attitude, but if you can't be slightly irrational when you're all loved up then when can you be? Perhaps that's why the guy didn't say anything about your smoking. But then as you become more attached and potentially see something longer-term developing you think ahead and look at what the long-term consequences of the other person's actions might be. Thus things like early death, infertility, constant coughing, rotten teeth and disgusting breath loom slightly nearer on the horizon. This is actually pretty normal I think; it's the same reason why a mate you barely know won't care as much if you inject heroin as your parents or a closer friend might.
if person X really loves person y and thnks that they will end up together forever, then maybe in the long run, person x giving up would be a good thing.
on a side note; i went to spain this past week, and went to the theme park, port aventura. for some reason they let people smoke in this park, and the amount of people smoking in queues was horrible. i mean, we are standing about for 30 minutes to get on a ride, in the hot sun.. the last thing we want is to be covered by someone elses ciggy smoke.
gggrr.
on a side note; i went to spain this past week, and went to the theme park, port aventura. for some reason they let people smoke in this park, and the amount of people smoking in queues was horrible. i mean, we are standing about for 30 minutes to get on a ride, in the hot sun.. the last thing we want is to be covered by someone elses ciggy smoke.
gggrr.
Related discussions
- my bf addicted to weed/vapes and i hate it
- Is this fair?
- What actually is the safe number of UK alcohol units?
- How can I get my brother to stop nagging me?
- HeLP PLZ I NEED IT
- Secondhand Smoke
- how many people here smoke?
- My boyfriend is addicted to smoking weed
- Sunak quietly drops 'smoking policy'
- Vaping ‘linked to cancer and damages body like smoking’
- Let’s play a game would you rather and why ?
- My girlfriend Vaped and smoked Weed for a month and kept it away from me
- Wanting to quit beer and weed Altogether
- Dating and turn offs
- advice on loving somebody with an addiction
- Is this harassing the police
- Why am I suddenly being left out?
- stressed potential medical student
- Tremors
- Next door neighbour being awkward over changing fence
Latest
Trending
Last reply 5 days ago
Can someone please help me tag Artful_lounger, i want to ask him a questionHealth
5
21
Last reply 1 week ago
How to get through the year with a teacher that dislikes you?Last reply 1 month ago
Aren’t you supposed to stand in monkey in the middle
