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Meeting the friends, family and ex!

Heya, I'm going to be going to staying with my boyfriend and his family for the first time soon (he lives away from me) and I'm so nervous!! He's arranged a big night on my first night there on which I'll be meeting all his friends in one go, including the girl who he was in a quite serious relationship with before me, who I know his family all loved :s-smilie:

. I guess I was just wondering if anyone could give me any tips on how to deal with it all in one go! I'll be staying in his family's house so can anyone think of any serious do's and don'ts for doing that as well?

Reply 1

LadyEnglish

Be overly chummy with the ex. so the bf and family know there is no ill feeling....try the same with his mates aswell. As in an episode of 'Friends' there's a tip that with the mum, compliment her house and how clean and orderly it is, and how she has raised a 'lovely' son and he is very caring and intelligent etc. but dont make it too forced :p:

as for the dad ask him about his hobbies or something and take an interest :p:

or say something like does (bf's name) get his i dunno maths ability fomr you then mr (bf's surname :p:

) Iiii dunno never been in that situation meself :biggrin:

Good luck with everything xxx

Reply 2

Bubblebee

Be yourself, and if they don't like you.....steal their towels!

Reply 3

LadyEnglish

Bubblebee

Be yourself, and if they don't like you.....steal their towels!

Love the last idea, always a winner with the bf's parents :biggrin:

Steal their belongings! :p:

xxx

Reply 4

Helenia

I was in a similar situation when I first met my boyfriend's parents, although fortunately didn't have to meet lots of friends/exes at the same time. We live quite far away in the holidays so I had to spend the weekend, which would have been disastrous if I didn't get on with his parents!

I don't think you need to go overboard on the compliments - be a polite houseguest and thank them for letting you stay, but don't go on and on about how wonderful their son is or anything. A few things that I can think of:

DO:

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Take a present of some sort. Just some flowers or a box of nice choccies, always a good ice breaker.

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SMILE when you meet them, introduce yourself nicely (if your bf doesn't do it for you!)

•

Be polite and make conversation with them if they want to.

•

Check with your boyfriend if there are any unspoken house rules, such as no shoes in certain rooms, only use certain crockery/cutlery etc.

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Offer to help clear up/wash up after a meal. Chances are you'll be turned down, but it never hurts to show willing. Also, if they take you out to dinner and pay for you, thank them for it.

•

Let them know in advance (via your boyfriend) if you have any dietary requirements, from vegetarianism, to food allergies, to things you just plain can't stand. Nothing worse than that Guinea Fowl moment in Notting Hill. :wink: Also, I suppose, if you are allergic to any fabrics/detergents which could mean you might have a reaction to their bedding (my boyfriend nearly got an asthma attack from one of our pillows :redface: )

DON'T:

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Take their house for granted. You are their guest as well as your boyfriend's, so don't just disappear off with him the whole time and only appear for meals.

•

Have really noisy sex. It's just rude and would make them feel very uncomfortable.

•

Pretend to be anything you're not. Just be polite and friendly and honest.

Hope that helps! Parents may be overprotective, but if you act as a nice responsible person then they're more likely to treat you well. As for the ex, I'm not sure, but don't cold shoulder her or anything, if he's still friends with her.

Reply 5

pixiepeep

My ex's parents' friend used to call me by his ex's name constantly. I used to burst into tears.

But back on topic - remember that they finished for a reason, which immediately makes you better than her, but don't let on that you think that! Sorry, I'm not being much help! But good luck, I'm sure it will be fine!

Reply 6

befskulls

pixiepeep

But back on topic - remember that they finished for a reason, which immediately makes you better than her, but don't let on that you think that! Sorry, I'm not being much help! But good luck, I'm sure it will be fine!

Ah I like that one lol!

Offer to help with dinner/dishes etc.
Be nice to his mum.
It sounds like he and the ex are still really good friends so treat her as if she's just another one of his group of friends that you're meeting, don't see her as something different.

Reply 7

foxiroxi

Have grown up conversations with his parents. They will then think that you are intelligent and easy going.

My parents hated all my past boyfriends because they couldn't/wouldn't hold conversations with them. My current boyfriend however is always talking to them (and phoning them up while I'm at work to have a chat!!!!!!!)

Reply 8

El Scotto

LadyEnglish

Be overly chummy with the ex. so the bf and family know there is no ill feeling....

God. There is absolutly NOTHING that would unnerve me more than an EX and a current, being chummy.

I don't know about any other blokes here, but I'd hate it.

*shudders* I do my best to avoid situations like that though.