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Uni Choices and My Boyfriend
Hi, I really love my boyfriend and I want to keep it going when we go to uni and hopfully go to the same ones, or at least ones that are close-ish to each other (i.e. less than a tenner train fare).
My main problem is I'm pretty sure my BF has a good chance of getting into cambridge for Natsci (AAAAA at Alevel, inc. 100%s and stuff), but Cambridge doesn't exactly do the course I want. Oxford does the course I want, so I was thinknng of applying their instead.
Let me make it clear I have a incredibly low chance of getting in anyway so I'm not sure it even makes much ofa difference. But should i apply for the course I want? Or a slightly different one taht isn't exactly what i'm looking for, but I think would mean I had a happier lifestyle over the next few years?
Please help xx
My main problem is I'm pretty sure my BF has a good chance of getting into cambridge for Natsci (AAAAA at Alevel, inc. 100%s and stuff), but Cambridge doesn't exactly do the course I want. Oxford does the course I want, so I was thinknng of applying their instead.
Let me make it clear I have a incredibly low chance of getting in anyway so I'm not sure it even makes much ofa difference. But should i apply for the course I want? Or a slightly different one taht isn't exactly what i'm looking for, but I think would mean I had a happier lifestyle over the next few years?
Please help xx
Scroll to see replies
Reply 1
go for the course thats best for you, i know loadsa couples who make it through uni and still stay together-i think the fact that you can live far away from each other and still manage to stay in love makes your relationship stronger anyway then if you have to see each other all the time
You go to uni for what...3 years? Choose the course and university YOU want to go to, not just because your boyfriend will be nearby! Its only for a few years! Imagine choosing the wrong course and then ending up with a degree you dont even want for the rest of your life!
Im sure you can put up with being a bit further from your boyfriend for a few years! If its meant to be, it'll work out anyway! Dont waste your choices on courses you dont even want to get onto.
Im sure you can put up with being a bit further from your boyfriend for a few years! If its meant to be, it'll work out anyway! Dont waste your choices on courses you dont even want to get onto.
It's said a million times every year, but I'll say it again: Do NOT let current relationships affect your choice of university. There's a year before you even go, all sorts of things could happen in that time. I'm not being rude about anyone's relationship, but at 17/18, relationships don't always last and planning your future around your current partner is a BAD idea.
Reply 6
Helenia
It's said a million times every year, but I'll say it again: Do NOT let current relationships affect your choice of university. There's a year before you even go, all sorts of things could happen in that time. I'm not being rude about anyone's relationship, but at 17/18, relationships don't always last and planning your future around your current partner is a BAD idea.
I agree you can't let the fact you have a boyfriend influence your choice.
Reply 7
don't let you and your boyfriend ruin your chances at being at a good uni cos you're ytogether...if you do that one of twoi things will happen
1)you'll break up before then and then have to put up with seeing eachother ALL the time
2)you'll stay together but end nup resenting eachother that you couldnt fulfuill your potential and do what you want cos you had to be together all the time.
if you're relationship is strong enough that youd be arrnaging your lives around eachother then you can survive being apart from a couple of months at a time for three years!!
1)you'll break up before then and then have to put up with seeing eachother ALL the time
2)you'll stay together but end nup resenting eachother that you couldnt fulfuill your potential and do what you want cos you had to be together all the time.
if you're relationship is strong enough that youd be arrnaging your lives around eachother then you can survive being apart from a couple of months at a time for three years!!
Reply 8
go for the uni that you want and thats best for you, regardless of what your boyfriend is doing.
if you go to a uni cos of him, well theres a chance you're gona split up and then you'll regret it! if you got to the uni you want, you can still go out. if you're really right for each other then you will hopefully still be able to stay together - it will be a good test for your relationship.
if you go to a uni cos of him, well theres a chance you're gona split up and then you'll regret it! if you got to the uni you want, you can still go out. if you're really right for each other then you will hopefully still be able to stay together - it will be a good test for your relationship.
Reply 9
Do what's best for you, whether that is the uni choice or to stay with boyfriend and have a happier live without all the distance travelling, only you can weigh that up.
Anonymous
Hi, I really love my boyfriend and I want to keep it going when we go to uni and hopfully go to the same ones, or at least ones that are close-ish to each other (i.e. less than a tenner train fare).
My main problem is I'm pretty sure my BF has a good chance of getting into cambridge for Natsci (AAAAA at Alevel, inc. 100%s and stuff), but Cambridge doesn't exactly do the course I want. Oxford does the course I want, so I was thinknng of applying their instead.
Let me make it clear I have a incredibly low chance of getting in anyway so I'm not sure it even makes much ofa difference. But should i apply for the course I want? Or a slightly different one taht isn't exactly what i'm looking for, but I think would mean I had a happier lifestyle over the next few years?
Please help xx
My main problem is I'm pretty sure my BF has a good chance of getting into cambridge for Natsci (AAAAA at Alevel, inc. 100%s and stuff), but Cambridge doesn't exactly do the course I want. Oxford does the course I want, so I was thinknng of applying their instead.
Let me make it clear I have a incredibly low chance of getting in anyway so I'm not sure it even makes much ofa difference. But should i apply for the course I want? Or a slightly different one taht isn't exactly what i'm looking for, but I think would mean I had a happier lifestyle over the next few years?
Please help xx
Go for the course you want. If you're on the wrong course, life *will* be absolutely HELL for you. You'll still enjoy uni but you'll have this rock on your back dragging you down and you just end up failing your degree. If you and your bf are meant for each other, you guys will last regardless of the distance. My parents coped fine when one was in HK and the other in England for an entire year (already married at that point).
And I know what I'm on about when it comes to the wrong course cus I stuck with doing Neuroscience for a whole year at uni and am now transferring to do Art History lol. Trust me, you wanna get into the course you want, that's best for you.
Damm I'm glad I was single when I made my uni choices! 
But seriously WHAT IF you and your boyfriend split up and your at uni doing a course you don't want to do?
Go to oxford, do the course you want. It will also be a test to see if your relationship is strong enough. Then you can be more sure at the end of 3 years if you are ment to be!
But seriously WHAT IF you and your boyfriend split up and your at uni doing a course you don't want to do?
Go to oxford, do the course you want. It will also be a test to see if your relationship is strong enough. Then you can be more sure at the end of 3 years if you are ment to be!
irisng
Go for the course you want. If you're on the wrong course, life *will* be absolutely HELL for you. You'll still enjoy uni but you'll have this rock on your back dragging you down and you just end up failing your degree. If you and your bf are meant for each other, you guys will last regardless of the distance. My parents coped fine when one was in HK and the other in England for an entire year (already married at that point).
And I know what I'm on about when it comes to the wrong course cus I stuck with doing Neuroscience for a whole year at uni and am now transferring to do Art History lol. Trust me, you wanna get into the course you want, that's best for you.
And I know what I'm on about when it comes to the wrong course cus I stuck with doing Neuroscience for a whole year at uni and am now transferring to do Art History lol. Trust me, you wanna get into the course you want, that's best for you.
Ditto, life on a course you don't want to do is miserable. Even more miserable than life without your boyfriend, in fact. If you don't enjoy it you won't work as hard. Plus think of how much money you're wasting! I'm transferring this year too after a horrible mess of a year academically, struggling away bored doing something I didn't like every day was much worse than being away from my boyfriend.
Reply 13
how big a problem is this? so what if you apply for the different unis, the only problem is when you both want to go to different ones, having recieved offers. You need to have some perspective on this - it's a definate possibility that neither of you may end up at oxbridge, and then all this worrying will be for nothing! So yes, apply to whatever YOU want, but don't stress about this, because in the grand scheme of things, this is nothing.
Seriously, as posted above. DO NOT choose a university because of a boyfriend. my friend did the same and now they have just recently split up and now have the problem(well not problem, but thing) that they are going to the same university. - luckily not doing the same course.
i know this may seem really bad, but has your boyfriend thought about this in terms of you. has he considered a different university because he will be near you and may be not one he would have originally thought of!?
i know this may seem really bad, but has your boyfriend thought about this in terms of you. has he considered a different university because he will be near you and may be not one he would have originally thought of!?
Reply 15
ditto all of the above. im moving away from my bf this sept, but because im going to do a course I love in a place where im gonna be happy for three years. NO regrets!!
Reply 16
Helenia
It's said a million times every year, but I'll say it again: Do NOT let current relationships affect your choice of university. There's a year before you even go, all sorts of things could happen in that time. I'm not being rude about anyone's relationship, but at 17/18, relationships don't always last and planning your future around your current partner is a BAD idea.
I was with a long-term girlfriend when I had to make my university choices. We had been together for about two and a half years, and saw ourselves being together long into the future.
I was predicted straight As and was obviously keen to apply to the top universities. But at the time she didn't want to go to university at all, and I ended up applying to just one uni simply because I wanted to be close to her.
The relationship broke up just before our A-Level exams, and I ended up having to accept the offer from this university because there was no alternative. Thankfully I really enjoy the course I'm doing, but when I am totally honest with myself, it is not the university I truly want to be at and I am constantly haunted by the thought of how different things could have been.
This is just my experience but like Helenia said, things can change so quickly and the person you think you want to plan your life around does not always turn out to be the person you think they are. People change a hell of a lot in their late teens and early twenties.
So, you have to make the decision that is best for your future, and hard as it may be, don't allow your feelings for your boyfriend to influence it.
Helenia
It's said a million times every year, but I'll say it again: Do NOT let current relationships affect your choice of university. There's a year before you even go, all sorts of things could happen in that time. I'm not being rude about anyone's relationship, but at 17/18, relationships don't always last and planning your future around your current partner is a BAD idea.
Agreed. I picked my uni choices because of an ex, I shouldnt have because I didnt really enjoy the course and I really wish I hadnt of gone there. As jeffers said, its your future. If the relationship is meant to be, it will work out wherever you both are.
Reply 18
Me and my then bf were together for 2 and a half years and he decided to move away to uni and i wasnt going to uni and at the time we tried to make it work, but ended up splitting up, but thats cos none of us made the effort and deep down i was glad for it to end, so it depends on the relationship, im now at uni but i live at home n use the tram/metro but me and my now bf work around it and both put the effort in, you'll no if its right
wainwright
ditto all of the above. im moving away from my bf this sept, but because im going to do a course I love in a place where im gonna be happy for three years. NO regrets!!
Same here. I will be 200 miles from my boyfriend but in my firm choice uni! We are planning on putting the effort into the relationship and will make it work
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