Are they are my friends?

So I've been friends with most people in my year (I'm now in lower sixth) and I've often been outspoken about how I hate being the "wing-man" in most of my groups of friends (yes, I have a few!)

They've all said "oh don't worry, we all love you, you're great" blah blah which obviously gives me some confidence with friends and such, but then the next day it all starts again :confused:

as in I'm pushed to the side and the group of friends I've decided to hang around with at the time has a conversation within themselves and rarely involve me, and it's something I HATE because I'm often bored and I think I deserve some good friends or at least their attention fairly. What should I do?

I don't think I could ever choose a group to stick with forever. As I have it like this;

- Boring chav-ish people who think they rule the roost, they have boring conversations
- Classmates who are in all of my classes, they're fun to be around because they involve me but the problem is they don't hang around with each other all the time
- The "lads" who I've been good friends with for the last few years, they don't really like me as much as I like them now, but still I think they like my company from time to time
- The two girls who are quite lonely but hilarious but it really makes me look gay when I hang around with them
- The smug lot - I don't really get along with ANYONE bar three boys and one girl out of that lot and I cringe whenever I end up socialising with them

I'm the drifter and everyone knows it and I hate it. Everytime someone asks me "so where are your friends" I never know how to answer because I don't really have a group :confused:

Should I just become a loner? Or what else could I do?

Reply 1

StateOfConfusion

just hang out with people who you like hanging about with, i had a few groups of friends at school too-although by the sounds of it you dont like half of your friends-hand around with the people you like and who cares what other people think of you or them-if you like them and they like you it shouldnt matter what other people think.

Reply 2

AntiLearner

You got that right there, I don't like many of my friends :biggrin:

LOL!

I was hoping in sixth form there would be 60% new people but there's about 0.5%.

And I'm very self-conscious which is ridiculous because you are right I shouldn't care what others think, and I've actually forgotten who's company I enjoy anymore, most of the people I liked weren't that clever so they've left. Aagh 2 more years...

Reply 3

squigaletta

maybe people push you to the side because of comments like not wanting to hang out with people because they make you look 'gay' tbh i wouldnt invlove someone who cared that much about what people think and judged people like that

Reply 4

AntiLearner

^ I agree with you there, it was a really pathetic thing to think. I don't really say things like that when I'm out with them or anyone though, I just think about it afterwards, like now. I wish I didn't care as much to be honest.

Reply 5

Jenii

You know, just enjoy being the guy who hangs aout with everyone! I feel i'm on the edge of my friendship group as they've all known each other since they were 5 and I've known them a year or so but i don't let it depress me cos well, I'm leaving in a year anyway, and I know i have other groups of friends as well who i can always talk to and hang out with.

Reply 6

halfoflessthan50p

I think you need to be a bit more trusting and a bit less cynical. Everyone has flaws, no one is perfect. You have to accept that some people are 'chavish' or 'smug' or whatever but realise that they have redeeming qualities too. A lot of my friends have annoying habits but at the end of the day i enjoy their company, their good mates and they'd be there for me when i really needed them.

Just try and spend time outside school with as many people as you can so you get to know them better. Probably some of them you wont get on with but some of them will be really decent people once you get past the annoyingness

Reply 7

AntiLearner

I know it has come across that I've dismissed them, but after 5 years of trying with ALL of these people (especially the smug ones) I've given up. They constantly belittle me so I don't bother with them anymore, had to make a choice, would I rather stay in their company and be the centre of their jokes, or only talk to the people out of that lot who are nice people.