really, really confused - best friend's ex, please help

(sorry about the anonymous thing but i know people on here)...

my best friend broke up with her boyfriend 3 days ago because she cheated on him, and they were drifting apart. it was a mutual decision from them both. she was upset, but she was at fault because SHE cheated.

he used to fancy me about 9 months ago, and i've fancied him for about 6 months now and i was so upset when they started going out. but i came to terms with it.

yesterday i went to see him and i basically told him that i had liked him for the whole time. i just wanted to tell him to get it off my chest. but he turned around and told me he had never got over me and that he only went out with my best friend to try and forget about me.

we ended up kissing but i stopped him and told him that i felt really guilty because of the whole best friend thing. now i'm really confused - what should i do!? please help...

thank you for any replies.

Reply 1

squigaletta

i think you should wait, just a month or something, and i think in 2 weeks time you should talk to your best friend about it, tell her how you feel and sound her out on her opinions

Reply 2

Mrs_F

Does you friend still like him?

It's a very tricky situation - it's always going to cause problems getting involved with friend's ex boyfriends - unless they genuinely don't care for them anymore.

It could cause huge problems between you and your best friend.

Reply 3

lazzyfuzzylou

I think if she still likes him, you should wait and speak to her in a few weeks time. Don't tell her you kissed him though..

Reply 4

ShaunM

You just broke the unwritten rule of getting with mates ex's!

You crossed the line, infact the line is a dot!

-----------------------------------------------

Insensitiveness over/

Yeh if you really want to do it I'll wait a bit. Though depending how your mate is...the percentage chance of her hating you is high when she finds out!

Reply 5

lilac!!

i say go for it!

i mean she cheated on him! her fault and now u want to not be with a guy you like/fancy because she used to go with him, why dont you tell her this i mean if you can make a sacrifice like this one for your best friend, i dont think she should have any objections with you too as they are not going out. you felt bad when they were going out but you kept it because your her best friend, now since she isnt even going out with the guy and is as good as a friend as you are then she should not mind, unless she likes him then we have a another problem

Reply 6

username47781

I'd wait a little, least until he is over her, but be prepared it could all get messy and you may lose your friend then again she did cheat on him so it is her own fault.

Reply 7

LadyEnglish

If you think you're friendship with your best mate is strong enough to support you telling her about you and her ex, then go for it. Or reconsider wether you want him over her...Also, do you think you and the ex will last? If you're not confident about the relationship don't risk damaging a good friendship...
If you tell her, start off by telling her you have liked him for 6 months and see how she reacts to that. If badly, don't tell her about the kiss, if reasonably well, then cautiously say you 'accidently' kissed in the moment but you would like things to go further...something like that...Asking her if she minds would be a good thing because atleast if she gets angry later you can say you asked and not make it look like it was behind her back or anything...complicated...Good luck with everything :smile:

xxx

Reply 8

Bean__x

It depends on how your friend feels towards her ex and how good friends you are. I did that :s-smilie:

and got with my friends ex who she had been with for 2 years but now we just laugh about it and we never stopped being friends, but that was only because she didn't feel anything for him anymore and hadn't for a long time. So I think you should talk to her about it :smile:

Reply 9

squigaletta

i wouldn mind any of my friends geting with any of my ex's (oher than for their own saftey coz one of he exs is not nice). me n my exs didnt work out for a reason, and if my friend can be happy then im happy for her

Reply 10

Hana_87

How long were they together? Was it serious (despite the cheating?)

Tbh, i don't think i'd go near a friends ex, and hopefully they wouldn't mine. Too many feelings involved.
But if you really want to, the only thing i'd advise is to ask her in a while how she'd feel about it. A real friend would never just go and go out with a 'best friends' ex boyfriend.