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Employment issues affecting me.

I struggled quite a lot at university with stress/anxiety due to the workload/course intensity but somehow got through it and graduated. I think the thing that kept me going was believing things would work out better for me once I had my degree.

However, I graduated into a really bad job market and found myself unemployed. I fell into depression but again, somehow pulled through because I believed I could turn things around.

Now I'm in employment (which I'm grateful for) but it is awful work on minimum wage. It doesn't interest me, there are no prospects/development opportunities - it's just a dead end job but I'm doing it because I don't want to be unemployed and on the dole.

I found a career path that interests me so lately I've been pursing ways to get into it BUT I have no experience so I'm getting shot down or ignored with every application. I decided to do some work experience (which is hard because I work full time but I realized I needed to) and sent out some e-mails/visited some organisations but no one wants to take me on for work experience in my chosen field - all have said they are not offering work exp at the moment (why?!).

I just feel like I'm going nowhere fast. It feels like other people are preventing me from moving forwards - because essentially every application boils down to one person saying 'yes' or 'no'. All of my efforts amount to nothing at all. I am, and have been, putting in 100% since I was a kid and I've got nothing back. I feel SO frustrated and angry. I just sit and think - if I had dropped out of school after GCSEs, I'd be in this same position, so the 5 years of hard work after that were just useless. I never needed to put myself through it because it has got me nowhere.

I used to be really down/upset but now I'm just angry every day. I don't understand why I'm in this situation at all. I cannot seem to change anything as hard as I try but I'm too stubborn to give up even though I want to.

So my questions...

1. How to stop feeling absolute anger?
2. This has now affected the way I interact with people - I've become withdrawn. I was never this way. I notice a lot of people become more sarcastic/pessimistic as they get older but I'm almost misanthropic.

Is this just what being an adult is?

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