Yes, it is another 'break up' story...One that happened around a month ago when I found out that my fiance whom I had been together with for 5.5 years started liking someone who he met on a business trip to Edinborough (me and my ex live in London). I loved him like crazy and things were perfect between us.. I'm only 19 but he had proposed to me and I thought it would last.. He didn't cheat on me but simply ended it with me, saying that he loves this other girl whom he had only spent around 3 weeks with on this business trip...He has told his parents about her and they've agreed to get them both engaged very soon...
I was asking for him to reconsider our relationship in the first week but then I realised that even if we did go back out, I'd never forgive or forget what he has done...and he clearly loves this girl like crazy...he told me that he's not felt towards me the feelings that he has for her, even when he was making love to me.
However, I am still not over the situation. I am an emotional wreck...I went to 2 counselling sessions but none of them helped...I can't sleep and alcohol was no help...I'm scared of using sleeping pills and a pharmacist that I spoke to regarding sleeping pills said they don't really help anyway...I'm always crying...Every time I eat, I throw-up even though I don't want to...
I just can't stop thinking about my ex and the times we shared together. Also, I keep having dreams about him in the sexual context...We slept together quite often for over a year and the memories are haunting me.. I feel dirty but yet, I can't stop thinking about our sex life..
Does anyone have any advice for me? It would be greatly appreciated, even though I wouldn't really know what advice to give someone in my situation.. I'm starting Medicine at university this year and I'm terribly frightened that this state of 'depression' will not go away. Also, I don't want to admit to any doctors that I am depressed because I don't want to be put on anti- depressants.