Ex telling me to stay away from her mum. Watch

Anonymous #1
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We were together for some time and broke up around 6 months ago. I was always on good terms with her mum as she is a really pleasant woman.

After the breakup the ex moved away while I live close by. She is now seeing someone else and also having a baby with him. A non-issue for me.

However she has told me to stay away from her mother as she doesn't want me being close to her mum since it makes her boyfriend uneasy.

The incident that sparked it was 2 weeks ago he helped to fix a leak at the kitchen sink. It didn't last long and the pipe burst and caused a fair bit of water damage. She asked me if I knew of a plumber she could call, I told her I will come take a look at it. I looked at it, fixed it, repaired the water damaged kitchen unit and it was fine again. Over the weekend they came to visit and he asked if the kitchen leaked again, she told him what had happened and then mentioned to them that I had come by to fix everything for just a cup of tea.

The ex then calls me to tell me to not entertain any of her mum's request any further. Starts claiming it won't get on her good books and it won't be a reason for us to get back together etc.

How to deal with this?
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Blues Clues
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Starts claiming it won't get on her good books and it won't be a reason for us to get back together etc.

How to deal with this?
I've never been in a relationship but I wouldn't know :P The bold bit sounds so conceited though! TBH, if I were you I'd just ignore her. That should be between her and her mum.
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Vikki1805
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The underlying issue is, he failed to fix the sink and you managed to fix it.
He feels like the beta, while you alpha it up over a cuppa.

For an easy life, just don't go over any more and if her Mum asks why, tell her it's because the future father of her grandchild is insecure.
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Plumstone
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If you want an easy life, don't talk to the mum any more and - as the above poster suggested - tell the mum that it's down to the new boyfriend's insecurities.

If you value your relationship with the mum and are happy to endure a bit of hassle from your ex in order to continue on friendly terms with her mum, then carry on as you are. You are doing nothing wrong and in your position, I would absolutely keep up the relationship with the mum.
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by Vikki1805)
The underlying issue is, he failed to fix the sink and you managed to fix it.
He feels like the beta, while you alpha it up over a cuppa.

For an easy life, just don't go over any more and if her Mum asks why, tell her it's because the future father of her grandchild is insecure.
I didn't expect an alpha beta type answer.

(Original post by Plumstone)
If you want an easy life, don't talk to the mum any more and - as the above poster suggested - tell the mum that it's down to the new boyfriend's insecurities.

If you value your relationship with the mum and are happy to endure a bit of hassle from your ex in order to continue on friendly terms with her mum, then carry on as you are. You are doing nothing wrong and in your position, I would absolutely keep up the relationship with the mum.
I have decided I will keep the friendship going as I personally see no reason why it should be terminated. However I don't want to be antagonistic about it.
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Plumstone
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(Original post by Anonymous)
I have decided I will keep the friendship going as I personally see no reason why it should be terminated. However I don't want to be antagonistic about it.
Rubbing the friendship with the mum in your ex's face or inviting yourself over when your ex and her new boyfriend are there - that would be antagonistic. Lending a hand to someone whose kitchen has sprung a leak is just being a decent mate.

The ex and her new boyfriend are just being touchy about it; I wouldn't worry.
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Vikki1805
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(Original post by Anonymous)
I didn't expect an alpha beta type answer.
Expect the unexpected.
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Huskaris
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100% an alpha beta issue here bro

Go further to be more alpha and find more reasons to go round. DIY her entire house for free.

If you prefer the quiet life you could meet her demands. Depends if you enjoy winding her up a bit.
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LolaLowe
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She doesnt get to tell you what you can and cant do and who you can and cant see or speak to.

Continue as you wish having a cuppa with her mum, mention incidentally that new bf doesnt like it much, she can choose to keep it to herself or otherwise.

I totally thought of the alpha/beta thing with the burst pipe! haha!
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by Plumstone)
Rubbing the friendship with the mum in your ex's face or inviting yourself over when your ex and her new boyfriend are there - that would be antagonistic. Lending a hand to someone whose kitchen has sprung a leak is just being a decent mate.

The ex and her new boyfriend are just being touchy about it; I wouldn't worry.
I did ask the ex what she had expected me to do she simply put it that her mother should have paid for a plumber.

Decided to ignore what she wants and it is for her and her guy to deal with whatever issues they have.

(Original post by Vikki1805)
Expect the unexpected.
Good idea when on TSR.

(Original post by Huskaris)
100% an alpha beta issue here bro

Go further to be more alpha and find more reasons to go round. DIY her entire house for free.

If you prefer the quiet life you could meet her demands. Depends if you enjoy winding her up a bit.
I never viewed it as that but I suppose it does make sense.

I did send a text to her mum asking if the kitchen leaked since the fix, she said it was wasn't and she had decided to replace all the kitchen units. I offered to help and she invited me over to help her plan it. Promised to help her bring it back and install it.

I wouldn't dream of charging her any money.



(Original post by LolaLowe)
She doesnt get to tell you what you can and cant do and who you can and cant see or speak to.

Continue as you wish having a cuppa with her mum, mention incidentally that new bf doesnt like it much, she can choose to keep it to herself or otherwise.

I totally thought of the alpha/beta thing with the burst pipe! haha!
I don't want to mention it to her mum as I think it might put her in a position where she is stuck in the middle.
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Old_Simon
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We are not getting 100% of the story
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by Old_Simon)
We are not getting 100% of the story
There isn't anything else to add unless you want to read about my kitchen renderings using the IKEA kitchen planner software.
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