The Student Room Group

What should I do?

I think this age group will be better at judging my situation so thats why im posting this. Basically im almost 21 and have achieved nothing, I left school and went to college comming out with 3 ok ish A levels and went to do psychology at University (while living at home).

I was doing ok until I got anxiety and wasn't tuning up to lectures as much, I told my parents about this and they told me not to be pathetic so I kept going but then I decided that I wanted to change course and do sports. I thought that might be causing the anxiety and that sport would be a bit more cheerful lol, im really weird I know but thats how I thought but anyway I ended up quiting this and wanted to go back to psychology but everyone at uni probably thought I was weird and plus I wasn't enjoying it so I left.

Since then I have done nothing except argue with parents and panic, I have had several weekend jobs in the past but never worked full time so I feel really childish. Ive applied (and been accepted) to go back to college in a few weeks to do a access to higher education course as I don't have high enough A levels to do radiography which is what Ive decided I want to do.
Anyway I feel like a freak and really weird because my relatives are saying that Im getting no where and should have achieved or be working towards something by 21 and they are worried that I will still be messing about in college or doing nothing by the time I am 30 and that it is not fair on my parents (my parents said thaey don't care as long as im doing something). I think I will be doing something but according to my plans not until I am 25 because uni takes 3 years.

I have told them what I want to do but they are asking why I want to work in healthcare and I should be doing something that I enoy so im now having second thoughts about doing radiography and worried that the anxiety will come back though im determined to just ignore it and carry on. Im just a strange loser at the moment, the only hobby I have (football) people think im confused and strange lol they asked what im doing at the moment and im too embarrased to say im going back to college so have lied and said I have a full time job.

Anyway, if you are still reading what would you do in my situation :confused:

Thanks
Reply 1
Decide definitely what you want to do - are you sure about radiography? If you are, then go for your access course. Just get stuck in, don't be bothered about what other people think or are saying - it's your life it's affecting, not theirs. It takes some people longer than others to get settled, so don't be made to feel bad about changing your mind. A lot of people are still studying at your age, so you're not weird. Don't lie about going back to college, it's nothing to be ashamed about - it's better that you're working towards qualifications now than just giving up and getting some crappy job. Just go for what you want to do, make sure you're happy with your course, and work hard at it. Hopefully then you'll get where you want to be. Good luck!
Reply 2
Don't want to sound too brutally honest here - but I don't think your parents are helping the situation by moaning at you to do something, and pushing you into feeling like you are achieving nothing. Remember you have achieved a lot by simply getting some A Levels, which is more than some people your age have. This is a time in your life where there are a lot of decisions to make, and it is very difficult to always make the right one.

Have you seen a doctor about your anxiety? I'd say this was important to deal with, because I think no matter what you decide to do, the anxiety will play a part unless it's dealt with professionally. I am speaking from experience, because I had some issues when I first started in Higher Education, but got to the bottom of them very fast.

Good luck with whatever you do, and I hope you find something that makes you happy :smile:
Reply 3
Boo
Decide definitely what you want to do - are you sure about radiography? If you are, then go for your access course. Just get stuck in, don't be bothered about what other people think or are saying - it's your life it's affecting, not theirs. It takes some people longer than others to get settled, so don't be made to feel bad about changing your mind. A lot of people are still studying at your age, so you're not weird. Don't lie about going back to college, it's nothing to be ashamed about - it's better that you're working towards qualifications now than just giving up and getting some crappy job. Just go for what you want to do, make sure you're happy with your course, and work hard at it. Hopefully then you'll get where you want to be. Good luck!


Im sure based on the work experience I did yea, in my opinion I think its hard for anyway to truely know what career they want until they start it, but maybe its just me lol. Its just many of my friends are in full time jobs and when I tell them about what im doing it sounds like im messing about a lot. Thanks:smile:
Reply 4
steviejay
Don't want to sound too brutally honest here - but I don't think your parents are helping the situation by moaning at you to do something, and pushing you into feeling like you are achieving nothing. Remember you have achieved a lot by simply getting some A Levels, which is more than some people your age have.


This is what I thought but looking at friends some of them have moved out and are living independently with full time jobs which is far more than scraping 3 A levels and still being dependant on parents. I don't want to move out I still feel like a kid lol and like it this way but at the same time the older I get the more I feel like a loser. Most people at 21 want to move out and start work but I don't. Anyway this is another issue im going off topic lol, Ive seen gp about anxiety and was refered to see someone but this took about 2 months there was a waiting list and I was feeling better by this time so I didn't go, which is stupid I know. Anyway thanks for the advice.
Reply 5
I think you are letting other people exp your relatives influence your decisions too much, there is a difference between advice and putting someone under pressure.
Reply 6
If I were you I would seriously think about getting into a job where you can work your way up, because it sounds like you don't have any conviction in your choices.