The Student Room Group

Eye Contact

Anyone find this part incredibly difficult?

Whenever I see a nice looking/ hot/ cute/ cool girl I just cant do it!

Being able to do this would make everything so much easier!

I have tried telling myself to just do it, but it just wont happen:rolleyes: even though I know the girl wants to do it.

Guess it must be my brain thinking its rude to stare at people you dont know:eek: .
GarageMc
Anyone find this part incredibly difficult?

Whenever I see a nice looking/ hot/ cute/ cool girl I just cant do it!

Being able to do this would make everything so much easier!

I have tried telling myself to just do it, but it just wont happen:rolleyes: even though I know the girl wants to do it.

Guess it must be my brain thinking its rude to stare at people you dont know:eek: .

i always look people in the eyes, i feel in control then. I i look at a guy i look at him and if he sees i look at him in the eyes so that a i know he has seen me and b so that he knows im not scared (which is a lie tbh :p:) i just put a front on :smile:
Reply 2
just watch out for the car infront of you
Mangaroo
just watch out for the car infront of you

:p:
eye contact gets me into fight mode, love mode or both.
Reply 5
yeah know how u feel, ijust usually force myself to look people in the eye eventhough it may be people i cant stand or people tht im attracted 2, thnk eye contact give u tht sense of being in control if u like. Try it next time ure out with ure m8ts in a busy area try looking some random nice girls in the eye for a split second as u walk towards them...but be careful not too look to long or u might get a slap or smthn haha but do it graduly as it might take sometime
Reply 6
I struggle with eye contact with anyone. I couldnt tell you the eye colours of more than a quarter of people I work with or am friends with. The only colour I know people to have are blue, and thats just cos that colour eyes freak me.
I decided a fair while ago that I needed to combat this, and started off by talking to people looking close to their nose (not up noses! Just around that area!). People think theyve got eye contact with you, unless they are extremely close. I then moved onto talking to around peoples eyes. On a good day I can now gain eye contact for around 2-3seconds, on a bad day I still avoid eye contact.
Its a long process, depending on how hard you find eye contact, but well worth it. I've been working at this for around 2 years!
It's a lot easier for a girl, we can act coy :biggrin: If a guy acts coy he may be gay...lol, i know for a girl you can lock eyes, smile then look away and know he's still looking :biggrin: great feeling lol. I guess it's a lot harder for the guy, but basically any girl you see that you like just look at her, even if she's not looking back, then when she looks up and looks at you, you're happy, and she's very happy because she knows you've been looking at her and up goes both your ego's :p: just try it, it will become fun eventually :p: Good luck with everything xxx
jennyflake
I struggle with eye contact with anyone. I couldnt tell you the eye colours of more than a quarter of people I work with or am friends with. The only colour I know people to have are blue, and thats just cos that colour eyes freak me.
I decided a fair while ago that I needed to combat this, and started off by talking to people looking close to their nose (not up noses! Just around that area!). People think theyve got eye contact with you, unless they are extremely close. I then moved onto talking to around peoples eyes. On a good day I can now gain eye contact for around 2-3seconds, on a bad day I still avoid eye contact.
Its a long process, depending on how hard you find eye contact, but well worth it. I've been working at this for around 2 years!


This is so true, I personally never found trouble looking into people's eyes. But also I noticed that when I only look into their mouth they think I am looking into their eyes, it is so weird but they never find out. Maybe you can start from there.
wesetters
I find that looking people in the eyes is the easy part...

:p: me too *looks in your eyes* :eek:
Reply 10
I have the opposite problem. When I make eye contact with a girl I find attractive, I hold her gaze beyond the point at which it may be appropriate.

Then again, in social situations such as when I'm at a bar or a club, it works absolutely fantastically.
Reply 11
You should not be worried to make an eye contact because from my personal experience I can say that it truly works... or maybe I am used to doing that so it seems easy for me.. But to be honest girls love eye contact.. but not gazing of course.. Just look at her for a while as if you are seduced by her beauty and then move your sight somewhere else ... you'll recognise how she'll start staring at you with the same interest you've applied!
Reply 12
If you find it hard to make eye contact then look at the point between their eyes as you talk to them. You'll look like you're making eye contact but it's nowhere near as scary. Once you get used to doing that you can step it up to actual eye contact :smile:
I tried making eye contact nowadays with almost everyone I meet, but I feel awkward most of the time, and after doing so for a few seconds, my eyes will dart about! I don't know why, it happens to both sexes, and even my parents and teachers. I feel like I'm making myself vulnerable when making eye contact with people :frown:
Reply 14
There was a study to show that when most people make eye contact with a randomner, the person who is "receiving" the eye contact will look away before 3 seconds is up. I tried it at work when bored and i would say 9/10 people looked away before 3 seconds was up.
Reply 15
In part, there is a technical answer to this.
I forget which way around it is but most people look to one side of a person when they want to remember something and to the other when they want to compose a lie.
The point of making eye contact is to say at this moment I am living in this moment of meeting you. a quick galnce from their face to one side may subsonciously be interpreted as an attempt to remember who they are or if you both know each other as a snatched moment to make up some sort of excuse.
It is very important to know what the 'local conventions' are. You will note that I am male and I am very much less likely to automatically make eye contact with strange males because in the context in which I live that could be interpreted as asking the guy whether he's gay. Other than that a few seconds eye contact is polite...
Reply 16
When lying you look in the top left of your vision. Right for remembering Information.