Female and hairy. Any advice? Watch

Anonymous #1
#1
Report Thread starter 4 years ago
#1
I have hispanic-like features, fairly pale skin when I'm not tanned, and dark brown hair... This means all the hair on my body is really obvious. I have a lot of dark hair on my back and my stomach for a girl, I even have a faint trail, and I have hairy arms which I shave regularly. As I shave my arms they aren't much of a problem. I shave my legs too but as I'm always too self concious to get them out, they're super white, and I get these little dark dots on my legs from the hairs even after I've shaved.

This really gets me down, I've had this since around the age of 12 (I'm 20 now) and I've never in my life worn a bikini or a back-bearing dress- I always cover up on special occasions. The most I've ever exposed is my arms to my shoulders, and when I wear anything that exposes my legs I wear tights. I never go swimming or get to enjoy beach holidays because I feel disgusting. I also have a really bad bikini line- I shave that too, but it remains dark and embarrassing.

I can't afford laser treatment. I've been thinking about waxing, there is a salon near my uni which does waxing for a good price, but I feel so embarrassed to be able to ask them about it- most places I have looked up list back waxing as "male waxing" and it just makes me feel even worse.

I don't want to shave my stomach because it'll grow back coarse. I'm thinking of waxing my stomach myself and/or bleaching the hairs.
But I don't know what to do about my back... I went to my GP about it a few years ago and she didn't help at all, she told me there's nothing the NHS can do about it, so I don't want to go back and ask again as it was already embarrassing enough.

There are so many nice dresses I'd love to wear but I feel embarrassed to. even normal strapless dresses that show shoulder blades- I can't wear them because of my dark hair.

Does anybody have advice? Freshers starts in 2 weeks and I want to be able to dress nicely for the events scheduled but I won't be able to without embarrassing myself...
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tengentoppa
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#2
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#2
Shave.

And when it grows back, shave again.

And there are obviously places for women to get waxed. It's nothing to be ashamed of.
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Anonymous #1
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Report Thread starter 4 years ago
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(Original post by tengentoppa)
Shave.

And when it grows back, shave again.

And there are obviously places for women to get waxed. It's nothing to be ashamed of.
Not really helpful... I said I don't want to shave my stomach because it will grow back coarse and stubbly. I already spend a lot of time shaving my arms, whole legs, bikini area and underarms every few days- it would be impractical and take far too long to shave my whole stomach too.
Yes there are places for women to get their legs and faces waxed, but I don't know any place that doesn't list back waxing under men's services.
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Anonymous #2
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I'm pretty hairy too, not so much back hair but definitely have the stomach trail and stuff - I'd say try waxing, if you're not prepared to save up for laser (which can actually be not that expensive if you go on Groupon/ Wowcher - could be 60-100 quid for a course). But waxing is way, way better than shaving, do not shave the hair on your back/ stomach. I'm sure you already know that it grows back coarser and can leave ingrown hairs and black dots and stuff.
The women who do waxing are usually really, really nice, they won't be shocked by the amount of hair you have (and if you're really afraid they will be, if you're in London or another city, go into an Asian area). You never have to see them again if you feel embarrassed and I'm sure they won't be surprised in the slightest - you're definitely not alone in being hairy - it's just the stupid "ultimate feminine" image which makes women get rid of their hair and makes people feel alone and disgusting.
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Da Di Doo
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Just go get a full body wax. The hair grows slower than if you shave it and over time gets thinner and thinner.

Don't be embarassed because they're used to waxing people. They've seen it all.

Also if you wax then your hair follicles (the black dots you get after shaving) may not be as visible as when you shave.
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DreamerTy
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Awwh... its sad you feel you cant wear or do want you want to do.

Having a lot of hair is nothing to be ashamed of especially the 'dark dots' on your legs because girls with dark hair tend to have that- its just ingrown hair.

Have you tried:
-waxing kits (or you can buy wax roll ons- they're a decent price)
-epilating
-hair removal cream
-sugaring

These methods (apart from maybe hair removal cream) are better than shaving because with shaving the hair will just grow thicker.

Go on youtube to search for better hair removal methods also.
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LizMrg
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I have very pale skin and dark hair, so like you, the hair on my arms, tummy, etc show up a lot. I used to be extremely self conscious and pretty much embarrassed about it. I tried hair removal creams, waxing, all that kind of stuff but it gets pretty expensive and after a while you get pretty tired with it.

I was quite skeptical of hair lightening products, but actually they work SO well. I've been using Boots Hair Lightener (mainly on my tummy, but you can use it on your arms too), and it completely strips the colour out of the hair so they pretty much become undetectable. Honestly, it looks like there's barely any hair there at all. Plus, it's totally painless and it lasts for ages. You don't have to worry about getting ingrowing hairs or rashes either. I really really recommend at least trying it just the once; http://www.boots.com/en/Boots-Smooth...x50ml_1189207/
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Limpopo
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#8
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#8
Honestly if i were dating a hispanic girl , i would expect her to be olive skinned, dark haired with more prominent body hair. Dont worry too much about it
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Nathanielle
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(Original post by Anonymous)
...
Black dots after shaving on the legs are totally normal for people with black hair , so most people won't notice them or know, that it is perfectly normal for someone with dark hair, that you can see them. Only idiots would judge you, because of that.

Concerning waxing: I think they have seen it all and usually in a good studio, all the want is to have happy clients and I bet, most women are too shy to go to a shop, which promotes "female-back-waxing" and would not go there, because then someone could notice, so just walk in and speak with them. There are more women with a lot of hair out there, then you probably think. (And males are in our times as picky as women, so someone experienced in male back waxing will be as good as someone experienced in female back waxing.)

Good luck and head up!
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1468917
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Don't worry too much. I don't grow hair on my back or anything like that but I can understand the pain of having darker hair and so it shows up more e.g. On your legs when you haven't removed it. A lot of people do grow fine hair in the places you've described I have dark haired and blonde haired friends who have it, but it's so unbelievably fine and light on the blonde ones you can't even see it or feel it on their back. I think if you go to a professional salon, you can get it waxed they've seen it all as others have mentioned. Absolutely nothing to be embarrassed of! all good waxing salons will wax these places without getting weirded out or anything. If you're too shy, buy wax strips and ask someone to help you wax it.

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dannyrose_6
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#11
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(Original post by Anonymous)
I have hispanic-like features, fairly pale skin when I'm not tanned, and dark brown hair... This means all the hair on my body is really obvious. I have a lot of dark hair on my back and my stomach for a girl, I even have a faint trail, and I have hairy arms which I shave regularly. As I shave my arms they aren't much of a problem. I shave my legs too but as I'm always too self concious to get them out, they're super white, and I get these little dark dots on my legs from the hairs even after I've shaved.

This really gets me down, I've had this since around the age of 12 (I'm 20 now) and I've never in my life worn a bikini or a back-bearing dress- I always cover up on special occasions. The most I've ever exposed is my arms to my shoulders, and when I wear anything that exposes my legs I wear tights. I never go swimming or get to enjoy beach holidays because I feel disgusting. I also have a really bad bikini line- I shave that too, but it remains dark and embarrassing.

I can't afford laser treatment. I've been thinking about waxing, there is a salon near my uni which does waxing for a good price, but I feel so embarrassed to be able to ask them about it- most places I have looked up list back waxing as "male waxing" and it just makes me feel even worse.

I don't want to shave my stomach because it'll grow back coarse. I'm thinking of waxing my stomach myself and/or bleaching the hairs.
But I don't know what to do about my back... I went to my GP about it a few years ago and she didn't help at all, she told me there's nothing the NHS can do about it, so I don't want to go back and ask again as it was already embarrassing enough.

There are so many nice dresses I'd love to wear but I feel embarrassed to. even normal strapless dresses that show shoulder blades- I can't wear them because of my dark hair.

Does anybody have advice? Freshers starts in 2 weeks and I want to be able to dress nicely for the events scheduled but I won't be able to without embarrassing myself...
.
Hi, I don't wish to be insensitive but I am married to a very pretty woman who is very hairy. I and many men find it very attractive and it is natural.
N
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MrAccord
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#12
Report 8 months ago
#12
Life is so funny sometimes. It looks like there are so many women that have problems with extra hair. I, on the other hand, would love to date a lady that would not mind to stop shaving, and grow as much hair as possible. SO sad...
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Anonymous #3
#13
Report 8 months ago
#13
I don't think you should have to feel embarassed, or ashamed, or to feel like you have to put yourself through pain to solve this problem. It's not a problem! Body hair is normal! And someone who loves you shouldn't have any problem with it. You should only remove what you feel comfortable removing and what is practical.
Although I am not very hairy, I have always been very worried about pubic hair. I felt pressured to shave it - simply because that is the 'norm'. But after speaking to friends, I found that many of their boyfriends actually preferred them to have a bit of hair. I just trim now - and it's made me realise the problem was not the hair but my self confidence and self esteem x
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AE.aesthetic
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Hi you are more than welcome to contact AE Aesthetic clinic in Hither Green. Contact Sally on 020 8265 2047
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AE.aesthetic
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#15
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#15
(Original post by LizMrg)
I have very pale skin and dark hair, so like you, the hair on my arms, tummy, etc show up a lot. I used to be extremely self conscious and pretty much embarrassed about it. I tried hair removal creams, waxing, all that kind of stuff but it gets pretty expensive and after a while you get pretty tired with it.

I was quite skeptical of hair lightening products, but actually they work SO well. I've been using Boots Hair Lightener (mainly on my tummy, but you can use it on your arms too), and it completely strips the colour out of the hair so they pretty much become undetectable. Honestly, it looks like there's barely any hair there at all. Plus, it's totally painless and it lasts for ages. You don't have to worry about getting ingrowing hairs or rashes either. I really really recommend at least trying it just the once; http://www.boots.com/en/Boots-Smooth...x50ml_1189207/
Hi, I would love to help. Call Sally at AE Aesthetic in SE London on 020 8265 2047
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Anonymous #4
#16
Report 7 months ago
#16
Don’t be embarrased at all; of cource, you will want to but it is okay. I would suggest going to get a full body wax, maybe somehwere where no-one you know will be so it is not awkwad for you. If you get a full body wax, ask for the one that has everything: including places like your stomach, back and full bikini. You will feelso much better afterwards.
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Vinny C
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Circus?
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NovellaApril
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#18
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if that was your attempt at being funny then I hate to break it to ya buddy. Not funny at all. Incredible how people can’t find the fine line between fun and seriousness. Go find yourself another place to make unfunny jokes. Bye bye now.
Last edited by NovellaApril; 4 months ago
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blacksheep8
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#19
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(Original post by Anonymous)
I have hispanic-like features, fairly pale skin when I'm not tanned, and dark brown hair... This means all the hair on my body is really obvious. I have a lot of dark hair on my back and my stomach for a girl, I even have a faint trail, and I have hairy arms which I shave regularly. As I shave my arms they aren't much of a problem. I shave my legs too but as I'm always too self concious to get them out, they're super white, and I get these little dark dots on my legs from the hairs even after I've shaved.

This really gets me down, I've had this since around the age of 12 (I'm 20 now) and I've never in my life worn a bikini or a back-bearing dress- I always cover up on special occasions. The most I've ever exposed is my arms to my shoulders, and when I wear anything that exposes my legs I wear tights. I never go swimming or get to enjoy beach holidays because I feel disgusting. I also have a really bad bikini line- I shave that too, but it remains dark and embarrassing.

I can't afford laser treatment. I've been thinking about waxing, there is a salon near my uni which does waxing for a good price, but I feel so embarrassed to be able to ask them about it- most places I have looked up list back waxing as "male waxing" and it just makes me feel even worse.

I don't want to shave my stomach because it'll grow back coarse. I'm thinking of waxing my stomach myself and/or bleaching the hairs.
But I don't know what to do about my back... I went to my GP about it a few years ago and she didn't help at all, she told me there's nothing the NHS can do about it, so I don't want to go back and ask again as it was already embarrassing enough.

There are so many nice dresses I'd love to wear but I feel embarrassed to. even normal strapless dresses that show shoulder blades- I can't wear them because of my dark hair.

Does anybody have advice? Freshers starts in 2 weeks and I want to be able to dress nicely for the events scheduled but I won't be able to without embarrassing myself...
I too have dark hair so I have dark hairs on my legs and arms, underarms, bikini line, etc. Ngl, I've learned to embrace my hair. Shaving was sooo damn long, like having to be crouched over for an extended amount of time, getting those little red bumps like you've mentioned, getting ingrown hairs, having the hair grow back in less than two days in the case of underams, and similarly my legs, was just all too much. It was a ****ing chore and I genuinely felt like it wasn't my decision, like I was being forced by ideology in society to do it. I absolutely despised having to stress that I hadn't shaved so I couldn't wear a t shirt that shows my underams, or a dress that shows my hairy legs when it was hot. So I literally stopped. I read about others doing the same even though I never seemed to see it myself outside (which was always a pet peeve) but I was done with it tbh. I was always very self-conscious about shaving from a young age amongst other people who didn't seem to take it as seriously (because they were light-haired) so it took a lot of mental power to break through the chains holding me back. I know how hard it is. Maybe others will laugh, and they have at times to me (although this was surprisingly rarer than I imagined) but you can either deal with that or deal with the anxiety and stress of shaving and maintaining your hair constantly constantly, and even then it's never enough, you still live with the anxkety that someone will see a hair on your thigh, or a hair or two under uour underamns where you missed shaving them off. It's a stress anyway, even if you do shave or wax. Maybe you're looking for another type of response, but if you just needed that greenlight that it's okay to not shave, that it's okay to embrace your body as is, here it is. I've grown out the hair on my legs now, I'm assuming fully, and I love the way it looks. I have also grown out my underarm hair, it looks rad as hell and mever new it could grow that long aha. I have found that I feel somewhat more anxious about my underarm hair than my leg hair, but I actually like the way it looks, and i'm willing to keep working on embracing it. It takes time, but that's alright. If the hair ever irritates me I will shave or cut it, but less furiously as I otherwise used to, because I'm not trying to remove every hair so that I'll appear as the hairless being I kept trying to portray. Instead cutting or shaving hair is now just a purely practical issue.

Anyway, good luck to you. Just wanted to let you know that this is an option, and although it can be difficult, it's been worth it for me personally, so perhaps it's something you would be interested in.

All the best.
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Anonymous #5
#20
Report 3 months ago
#20
(Original post by Anonymous)
I have hispanic-like features, fairly pale skin when I'm not tanned, and dark brown hair... This means all the hair on my body is really obvious. I have a lot of dark hair on my back and my stomach for a girl, I even have a faint trail, and I have hairy arms which I shave regularly. As I shave my arms they aren't much of a problem. I shave my legs too but as I'm always too self concious to get them out, they're super white, and I get these little dark dots on my legs from the hairs even after I've shaved.

This really gets me down, I've had this since around the age of 12 (I'm 20 now) and I've never in my life worn a bikini or a back-bearing dress- I always cover up on special occasions. The most I've ever exposed is my arms to my shoulders, and when I wear anything that exposes my legs I wear tights. I never go swimming or get to enjoy beach holidays because I feel disgusting. I also have a really bad bikini line- I shave that too, but it remains dark and embarrassing.

I can't afford laser treatment. I've been thinking about waxing, there is a salon near my uni which does waxing for a good price, but I feel so embarrassed to be able to ask them about it- most places I have looked up list back waxing as "male waxing" and it just makes me feel even worse.

I don't want to shave my stomach because it'll grow back coarse. I'm thinking of waxing my stomach myself and/or bleaching the hairs.
But I don't know what to do about my back... I went to my GP about it a few years ago and she didn't help at all, she told me there's nothing the NHS can do about it, so I don't want to go back and ask again as it was already embarrassing enough.

There are so many nice dresses I'd love to wear but I feel embarrassed to. even normal strapless dresses that show shoulder blades- I can't wear them because of my dark hair.

Does anybody have advice? Freshers starts in 2 weeks and I want to be able to dress nicely for the events scheduled but I won't be able to without embarrassing myself...
(Original post by tengentoppa)
Shave.

And when it grows back, shave again.

And there are obviously places for women to get waxed. It's nothing to be ashamed of.
Well I'm only 13 and I'm pale with BLACK BLACK hair. My mum left when I was little so I couldn't go to a wommen that I feel comfortable with for advice so instead I took to youtube videos and websites, a few people advised me to just shave and shave again. But I even have hairy ass cheeks and I am so embarrassed. Not only this but my whole stomach is hairy. I have turned to waxing because lots of people say if you continue to wax your hair will get thinner, then I'm going to bleach it. Being 13 in 2019 is hard work😂 I also feel embarrassed by my body. I got excluded from school because I didn't want to take part in swimming and I live In Cornwall so the beach is s really big thing. I haven't been to the beach in almost 4 years. And that's where my friend go during the summer.im so glad there is someone like me. Thank you 😘
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