Drunken Kiss Watch

Anonymous #1
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So I've been with my girlfriend for 10 months now, we met whilst backpacking and ended up doing most of our traveling together. When we returned to the UK we knew we'd have to do a long distance relationship, this wasn't idea for either of us but we decided to give it a try.

The weekend I got back I had a big night out with my friends who I hasn't seen in over a year. We had pre-drinks round my friends house, I ended up so blackout drunk I don't remember leaving he house, let alone the night hat followed. As it turned out one of the girls there thought it would be hilarious to double up my drinks when I wasn't looking, by the time I found out what she had been doing it was a bit too late.

So I wake up the next day with a big hangover and a lot of questions. I call one of my friends, who to my horror tells me I may have cheated on my girlfriend. He says he didn't see it for himself, but was told another one of my mates. So I call up friend 2 who tells me he wasn't witness to the infidelity either, but it turns out this random girl wouldn't leave me alone and was all over me.

Whilst nobody has said outright (I think they realised they could've not told me), I have a gut feeling that I may have ended up kissing her, and right now I feel like the biggest idiot in the world. Do I tell my girlfriend? What do I tell her, I don't even know the full story myself?

I feel so guilty now, it's just eating away and I can't stop obsessing about this incident. I'm seeing my girlfriend in 5 days time so if I was going to tell her I want to do it in person.

Some advice would be great.
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Anonymous #1
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Just as an update, another friend told me I did in fact kiss another girl. I shared a kiss (it wasn't passionate, apparently) in a pizza shop with a very unattractive girl before passing out on the floor, puts in to perspective how drunk I was really, not that it's an excuse.
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glycerin
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Could you show her the thread? Or rather, tell her what you've just written. Maybe do something nice for her to make up too.
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Omega3!
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What exactly are you going to tell her?

If you've told the complete truth on this thread and you don't remember anything at all, you'd essentially just be telling her a made up story (which may or may not be true), the consequences of which will not produce anything good for either of you.

So no, just don't talk about it and forget it ever happened (not that you remember anyway, right?).
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TurndownforWha
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Well don't drank this much if you can't control yourself jeez it's not that hard! Stop blaming others, tell your gf otherwise it will eat you up.
She will be upset but at least you're not lying to her, tbh you sound like a decent person so I think if you don't tell her now you'll end up telling her in the future which will hurt her much more. And anyway it was only a kiss afterall, I know it's bad but it's not the worst thing ever, so there's a possibility she'll forgive
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joker12345
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Tell her pretty much what you said here (or show her the thread). You were really drunk, almost blacking out, don't really remember what happened but think someone came onto you/kissed you just before you passed out. You are deeply sorry etc and would never knowingly have let this happen and never will again.
If I were her, though in the short term I'd be annoyed, in the long term I'd feel like I could trust you as you owned up to something that was questionably not even your fault (could you really consent to anything in that state?) and something you could easily have just never mentioned.
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joker12345
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(Original post by Omega3!)
What exactly are you going to tell her?

If you've told the complete truth on this thread and you don't remember anything at all, you'd essentially just be telling her a made up story (which may or may not be true), the consequences of which will not produce anything good for either of you.

So no, just don't talk about it and forget it ever happened (not that you remember anyway, right?).
It isn't just about whether it'll be good for him. It's never good to tell someone you cheated on them, but that doesn't mean you shouldn't do it. Anyway, it seems pretty clear from his friends account that he did kiss someone, so he knows it happened and sort of owes it to her to fess up.
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Omega3!
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(Original post by joker12345)
It isn't just about whether it'll be good for him. It's never good to tell someone you cheated on them, but that doesn't mean you shouldn't do it. Anyway, it seems pretty clear from his friends account that he did kiss someone, so he knows it happened and sort of owes it to her to fess up.
If I told you that you'd sleep walked last night and shagged an 80 year old granny so you better go and tell your girlfriend, would you?

I sure ****ing hope not.

I know the OPs case is not as extreme as this and I'm not denying it happened, but at the end of the day he'll just be telling his girlfriend somebody elses, probably drunken, account of what happened.

It'll be fail, it won't help him, it won't help his girlfriend and I'm sure he's learned his lesson.
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joker12345
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(Original post by Omega3!)
If I told you that you'd sleep walked last night and shagged an 80 year old granny so you better go and tell your girlfriend, would you?

I sure ****ing hope not.

I know the OPs case is not as extreme as this and I'm not denying it happened, but at the end of the day he'll just be telling his girlfriend somebody elses, probably drunken, account of what happened.

It'll be fail, it won't help him, it won't help his girlfriend and I'm sure he's learned his lesson.
You are a stranger. Plus, I know I don't sleepwalk, etc ...
This is his friend, only OP knows how much he trusts said friend but tbh why would the friend lie?
Obviously he should tell her that, too. The whole story, he's not sure what happened but his friend says that is what happened. I doubt his gf is going to dump him over that, it's clear he had no intentions to cheat etc and since he passed out after, it's likely the girls kissed him and he just didn't react as he was so out of it. As I said above, if I were his gf I'd respect his honesty and trust him more.
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Omega3!
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(Original post by joker12345)
You are a stranger. Plus, I know I don't sleepwalk, etc ...
This is his friend, only OP knows how much he trusts said friend but tbh why would the friend lie?
Obviously he should tell her that, too. The whole story, he's not sure what happened but his friend says that is what happened. I doubt his gf is going to dump him over that, it's clear he had no intentions to cheat etc and since he passed out after, it's likely the girls kissed him and he just didn't react as he was so out of it. As I said above, if I were his gf I'd respect his honesty and trust him more.
How do you know you don't sleep walk if you're asleep when it occurs and nobody has seen you?

If nothing good can come out of a situation (for either party) and its non-essential information then don't do it. If I were his girlfriend I'd slap him for telling me fairy tale stories from nights out, even if it had a chance to be true.
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joker12345
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(Original post by Omega3!)
How do you know you don't sleep walk if you're asleep when it occurs and nobody has seen you?

If nothing good can come out of a situation (for either party) and its non-essential information then don't do it. If I were his girlfriend I'd slap him for telling me fairy tale stories from nights out, even if it had a chance to be true.
Because in my 20 years of life I'm sure somebody would have seen me.
I disagree - I want openness and honesty in a relationship and would want to be with someone who is open with me rather than censoring stuff. I think my boyfriend possibly kissing someone else is also essential information.
We also disagree about how true it probably is - you think it's fairy stories with a chance of being true, I think it's 99% true as the friend has no reason to lie.
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Omega3!
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(Original post by joker12345)
Because in my 20 years of life I'm sure somebody would have seen me.
I disagree - I want openness and honesty in a relationship and would want to be with someone who is open with me rather than censoring stuff. I think my boyfriend possibly kissing someone else is also essential information.
We also disagree about how true it probably is - you think it's fairy stories with a chance of being true, I think it's 99% true as the friend has no reason to lie.
Retelling somebody elses experiences is a fairy tale, no matter how "accurately" you try and do it.
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joker12345
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(Original post by Omega3!)
Retelling somebody elses experiences is a fairy tale, no matter how "accurately" you try and do it.
I disagree. A fairy tale immediately implies made up and fantasy, and this is not that.
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