HELP!!! How do you keep in touch with a girl?

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Anonymous #1
#1
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#1
Story goes like this:

Say you met a girl at work in the cafeteria/corridor/coffee shop. She is very attractive and you slightly fancy her now you see her. You seem to get on well and have similar personalities.

She recognises you as you were both on the same work experience last summer. She initiated conversation. You hit it off a little then (but she definitely had a bf then). You are so elated at meeting her, you can barely speak, but somehow get the words in. But you couldn't work out a way to get the number. Later you buzz her on your work messenger, chat very briefly and find out she's off on holiday next week.

Then a week later, you are offered a job at another firm in another city which you take. You email the girl before you leave wishing her the best and leaving your number, hoping, but not expecting a reply.

She emails back and says good luck and gives you her number.

Now no attraction has been established, it's just friendly for now. You're shy initially with people, but when given time can build rapport, especially face to face. You think this girl is really fit, but wouldn't mind even being friends with her as she has a lovely personality.

Thing is you text her happy new years, she replies and includes x's on the text.

You text her another time in february, and she replies, this time, two days after, rather than immediate. The x's are gone, but she did reply you guess.

But how do you build rapport? You can see it is difficult to build up a relationship over text long distance. This time, you are initiating. She must have a boyfriend too. You won't be in her city permanantly and can only visit during the daytime by train if you know in advance. You wish you could be in her social circle.

Is it too late? Can you somehow build up friendship? Should you restrict texting only at new years or xmas or halloween?

Will she invite you to a birthday party?

What can you do?!!
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pshah2
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Well she did initiate conversation at your re-encounter.

She did reply to your two texts... so good signs there!

At least she likes you, else she would just ignore probs. You may not be in her social circle now, but you never know in the future.

Unfortunately it was a case of unlucky timing. Had you both met a few months earlier, you may have hit it off sooner. With some girls you need more time to build up that rapport.

Hang on in there though. Maybe you have to restrict it to special occasion texts for now. Find out when her birthday is and text her around that time, how are you? She will no doubt respond and then tell her happy birthday!
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Anonymous #2
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Hmm she spoke to you. Good sign. In fact she started it.. very good sign.
She responded to an email and gave you her number. Very good sign.
She responded to text at new year. Excellent.

From these three things I'd say you had a shot at not only friendship but more. Only thing is your distance really.

I think from the sounds of the second text, it's moved more to friend/acquaintance. Lack of x's for example. She may have a boyfriend already though, so you can still be friends with her. She sounds very nice.

Just a bit unlucky that you are now in different cities and you met her (again) very briefly. Such is life sadly. Never give up though! Keep texting her. I like the idea of messaging her at special times of year. Means she will think of you at happy times.
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neerajpatel
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Yeah from this I'd say well played. You turned a virtual no/game over situation to a still playing status. You got her number and have at least had some contact with her.

She at least likes you, if not fancies you a teensy bit, or is curious to have given you her number. That's a very private part of her life and means you are one step away from being on her social circle list. You're number two versus not being in touch with her at all. Well done on that.

You two real problems are the distance and different timings. Both are not really you're fault. Just unlucky there mate. But keep in touch with her.

In some ways FB and social media and easier to have random bant with if you hardly know a girl. But keep texting her. You should be proud that you got to that level (phone number) and be confident that even if you can't go further with this girl, you can do it when the conditions are right (timing, quantity of girls and confidence).
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Anonymous #2
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Cheers. Yeah I respect myself for having had the courage to contact her to keep in touch.

Just not sure, wish I could have had some time to build rapport. I keep in touch with girls from the same work place who I met for just a week, but met at a party much more than this girl. But this girl seemed much nicer.

Ach my luck hey!

What about the x's?
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Anonymous #1
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Cheers. Yeah I respect myself for having had the courage to contact her to keep in touch.

Just not sure, wish I could have had some time to build rapport. I keep in touch with girls from the same work place who I met for just a week, but met at a party much more than this girl. But this girl seemed much nicer.

Ach my luck hey!

What about the x's?
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Hmm she spoke to you. Good sign. In fact she started it.. very good sign.
She responded to an email and gave you her number. Very good sign.
She responded to text at new year. Excellent.

From these three things I'd say you had a shot at not only friendship but more. Only thing is your distance really.

I think from the sounds of the second text, it's moved more to friend/acquaintance. Lack of x's for example. She may have a boyfriend already though, so you can still be friends with her. She sounds very nice.

Just a bit unlucky that you are now in different cities and you met her (again) very briefly. Such is life sadly. Never give up though! Keep texting her. I like the idea of messaging her at special times of year. Means she will think of you at happy times.

True, just poor luck I guess!

I will follow your advice, thanks!
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by pshah2)
Well she did initiate conversation at your re-encounter.

She did reply to your two texts... so good signs there!

At least she likes you, else she would just ignore probs. You may not be in her social circle now, but you never know in the future.

Unfortunately it was a case of unlucky timing. Had you both met a few months earlier, you may have hit it off sooner. With some girls you need more time to build up that rapport.

Hang on in there though. Maybe you have to restrict it to special occasion texts for now. Find out when her birthday is and text her around that time, how are you? She will no doubt respond and then tell her happy birthday!
Solid advice. Yeah I will do that, sounds good!
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by neerajpatel)
Yeah from this I'd say well played. You turned a virtual no/game over situation to a still playing status. You got her number and have at least had some contact with her.

She at least likes you, if not fancies you a teensy bit, or is curious to have given you her number. That's a very private part of her life and means you are one step away from being on her social circle list. You're number two versus not being in touch with her at all. Well done on that.

You two real problems are the distance and different timings. Both are not really you're fault. Just unlucky there mate. But keep in touch with her.

In some ways FB and social media and easier to have random bant with if you hardly know a girl. But keep texting her. You should be proud that you got to that level (phone number) and be confident that even if you can't go further with this girl, you can do it when the conditions are right (timing, quantity of girls and confidence).
Awesome, what about the x's though?

Is it possible that we fancied each other at the time, unfortunately she met someone in between?

How do keep in touch with her?
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neerajpatel
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Cheers. Yeah I respect myself for having had the courage to contact her to keep in touch.

Just not sure, wish I could have had some time to build rapport. I keep in touch with girls from the same work place who I met for just a week, but met at a party much more than this girl. But this girl seemed much nicer.

Ach my luck hey!

What about the x's?
She used x's in the first response, so she still warms to you, even if she doesn't use them later.

She may have a bf, and be getting nervous. So just keep the texts friendly/banter without too forward.. which is fine, since you live somewhere else in any case, so you're just keeping in touch rather than setting up a date.
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neerajpatel
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Awesome, what about the x's though?

Is it possible that we fancied each other at the time, unfortunately she met someone in between?

How do keep in touch with her?
Wouldn't worry about it. She used x's the first time, so that's a positive thing, rather than no x's ever.

She may have just responded in a rush and forgot the x's on one reply and just stuck to it after that. Come another special occasion, they'll probably reappear.

The fact that she responds, rather than just simply ignores, x's or not, shows she at least values you as a potential friend, if anything. SHE HAS YOUR NUMBER AND RESPONDS.. that is a good sign indeed.

Just text her at halloween or christmas or new years. It's not that long and keeps you in touch every few months. Then between Jan and Oct, text her say every few months and hope she replies bud haha.

If you can find out her birthday from FB, text her then. If she has one near a holiday like thanksgiving or new year, text her happy new year and how are you? so she replies to that question and might give you an excuse to say happy birthday too!
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by neerajpatel)
Wouldn't worry about it. She used x's the first time, so that's a positive thing, rather than no x's ever.

She may have just responded in a rush and forgot the x's on one reply and just stuck to it after that. Come another special occasion, they'll probably reappear.

The fact that she responds, rather than just simply ignores, x's or not, shows she at least values you as a potential friend, if anything. SHE HAS YOUR NUMBER AND RESPONDS.. that is a good sign indeed.

Just text her at halloween or christmas or new years. It's not that long and keeps you in touch every few months. Then between Jan and Oct, text her say every few months and hope she replies bud haha.

If you can find out her birthday from FB, text her then. If she has one near a holiday like thanksgiving or new year, text her happy new year and how are you? so she replies to that question and might give you an excuse to say happy birthday too!
Kay will try. Thanks!
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pshah2
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(Original post by neerajpatel)
Wouldn't worry about it. She used x's the first time, so that's a positive thing, rather than no x's ever.

She may have just responded in a rush and forgot the x's on one reply and just stuck to it after that. Come another special occasion, they'll probably reappear.

The fact that she responds, rather than just simply ignores, x's or not, shows she at least values you as a potential friend, if anything. SHE HAS YOUR NUMBER AND RESPONDS.. that is a good sign indeed.

Just text her at halloween or christmas or new years. It's not that long and keeps you in touch every few months. Then between Jan and Oct, text her say every few months and hope she replies bud haha.

If you can find out her birthday from FB, text her then. If she has one near a holiday like thanksgiving or new year, text her happy new year and how are you? so she replies to that question and might give you an excuse to say happy birthday too!
THIS.

Cheer up bud, you got her number and she has replied. I know you must be nervous in case she doesn't but be happy that you actually got her number! I cannot underline how great an achievement that is!!!
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Anonymous #1
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How can I keep in touch with her regularly by text?

Is it because I fancy her a little that I find it difficult to do so?
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Anonymous #1
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Is it possible to text her on the weekend and be like hope you're well?
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swarly
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never been in the long distance situation tbh.

organise to meet her to catch up face to face.
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by swarly)
never been in the long distance situation tbh.

organise to meet her to catch up face to face.
But I think she may be taken now. I've weaned myself off fancying her completely to just slightly. I'm trying to get into her friendship circle.

How do I do that? I think if I just tried to arrange a one on one meeting, since we had only limited contact face to face (albeit great contact), she might construe it as a date and avoid/ignore/blow me off.

Unfortunately I also rarely am in the city anymore. I live far away and would have to book trains and stuff, so it would need to be a solid meetup/invitation to a party to justify expense!

The question is how do I become friends with her over text in the same way that I could have in person when I worked at the firm?
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Abstraction
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Story goes like this:
?

.....


Will she invite you to a birthday party?

What can you do?!!
Well, before you do anything, you need to think about what it is you really want from this girl. Ignore the effects of chemical rushes through your brain, and rationally scrutinise what she'll add to your life before spending more time and energy on desiring her. This is important. What can she give you that you can't easily do without? In my opinion, few women will pass this kind of test. But that's me.

If you think there really is something worth going for, then yeah perhaps you should attempt to arrange a face to face meeting (casual meetup) or just see if she becomes single again and then try. I'm not sure she's really interested in you though. X's don't mean that much, but if they're absent, perhaps there's little she feels. I'm also no.advocate of chasing a girl who doesn't initiate contact; it just seems like a massive waste of time and energy if she doesn't even think about you enough to do so. You could try to manufacture emotions or 'attachments' in her with jokes or entertaining conversation, but this will end in disappointment, even if you do get together. Seems like a lost cause to me.



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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by Abstraction)
Well, before you do anything, you need to think about what it is you really want from this girl. Ignore the effects of chemical rushes through your brain, and rationally scrutinise what she'll add to your life before spending more time and energy on desiring her. This is important. What can she give you that you can't easily do without? In my opinion, few women will pass this kind of test. But that's me.

If you think there really is something worth going for, then yeah perhaps you should attempt to arrange a face to face meeting (casual meetup) or just see if she becomes single again and then try. I'm not sure she's really interested in you though. X's don't mean that much, but if they're absent, perhaps there's little she feels. I'm also no.advocate of chasing a girl who doesn't initiate contact; it just seems like a massive waste of time and energy if she doesn't even think about you enough to do so. You could try to manufacture emotions or 'attachments' in her with jokes or entertaining conversation, but this will end in disappointment, even if you do get together. Seems like a lost cause to me.


Very good points.


Although I initiated electronic contact, she initiated talking to me in the dining room. In fact I didn't even see her there.
What if I just want to be friends with her?
i get your point about what she would add to my life. Right now perhaps I should leave it at being happy she spoke to me and gave the number.
She did put X's at first. I think the problem is we never had that much time to talk face to face and build rapport. It's hard to do it by text afterward.
I met another girl days after at the same firm for just 1 hr at a party and she talks to be much more. Even though I just want to be friends, she initiates and also replies to me. Maybe it just depends on the girl then.

but what would you advise if I wanted to stay in touch/be friends with this girl? She is hot, so maybe it's just my lions that are thinking here though...
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Chicken.M.
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have large penis
Take pix
send
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profit
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