Why do girls ignore emails? Watch

Abstraction
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#21
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#21
(Original post by Anonymous)
Thanks bud. No offence taken. Yeah she seems to do that a lot. Even when we had messenger contact regularly. In this case it's not even taking time to check email as my email goes straight to her messenger inbox (it's all one system). She used to contact me everyday or talk to me at least 3/4 times a day on that chat. Now she hardly replies and never ever initiates. Even after I wished her a happy birthday, she responded with "Thanks ever so much. How are you?" Then didn't reply to my next email. What is she playing at? I guess, I should kiss this friendship goodbye as it was probably not a real friendship then?

Advice?
You've already found the solution, man. You don't have to sever the 'friendship', but don't waste time propping it up either. She isn't worth your energy. Should she ever contact you again, give her limited and unenthusiastic answers to her questions. Strict need-to-know basis. Don't make her feel she's worth your attention. Good luck

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neerajpatel
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#22
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#22
(Original post by pshah2)
Yep, having said that, rather than risk rejection, you got the friendship thing for however long she kept in touch. So that's something I guess.

But she does seem like a bit of a user, if she doesn't respond. Unfortunately some girls are like that.

And you can cross her off the gf or friend list. Just make her an acquaintaince.

"Some people should be around your entire life and others should just make an appearance"
EPIC QUOTE.

Mate, send this quote in an email to her. And copy us all in. That should send the point home!!
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swarly
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#23
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#23
(Original post by pshah2)
Yep, having said that, rather than risk rejection, you got the friendship thing for however long she kept in touch. So that's something I guess.

But she does seem like a bit of a user, if she doesn't respond. Unfortunately some girls are like that.

And you can cross her off the gf or friend list. Just make her an acquaintaince.

"Some people should be around your entire life and others should just make an appearance"
Yeah agree. only point that i disagree on is getting the friendship. if you see someone as more than as a friend, you should pursue them romantically or not at all imo. if i cant have you like i want you, then i dont want you. while that may sound harsh, it does someone no good to see someone they like dating someone else. the only time this wouldnt apply, is if you were ALREADY friends.

Other than that I agree. Like to keep that circle small.
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neerajpatel
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#24
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#24
(Original post by Abstraction)
Because she's another narcissist using you for validation and attention when needed, and who discards you when she's bored. I'm not being horrible (to you) but she simply doesn't care about you. Yeah, maybe she's busy, but that's no excuse to not check your email for a few minutes a day. If she's occupied she should have the decency to say so and stop being unable to see past her own nose. Realise your worth, stop wasting your time and do something else OP.

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I tend to agree. She seems a little crazy/narcissistic. She seems to want you as a backup. Hmmm she sort of seemed to fish to see if you had a girlfriend.. could highlight potential love interest?

Agreed that she has been quite impolite in not replying. Guy or girl, not replying at all is plain rude and not friendly at all. She doesn't deserve you bud.
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danadd9
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#25
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#25
She probably liked you at some point but either lost interest or thought it was for the best that nothing happens; or she likes you and is waiting for you to make a move on her. Women are only content with texts/messages for so long.
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Anonymous #1
#26
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#26
(Original post by Abstraction)
You've already found the solution, man. You don't have to sever the 'friendship', but don't waste time propping it up either. She isn't worth your energy. Should she ever contact you again, give her limited and unenthusiastic answers to her questions. Strict need-to-know basis. Don't make her feel she's worth your attention. Good luck

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This is very good advice! Thanks man. I guess that's the best course. I mean she doesn't remember my birthday tbh. So should I ever initiate contact again? Is it just the fancy feelings that make me contact her? I have learnt though, and keep my answers to just one or two sentences rather than too long. In fact the other day when I did that, she actually started replying as if to keep my talking to her.. but then by the end, I ended up sending her the have a great weekend email as she failed to reply in the end. My email had an apt quote to our conversation. All I got later was a you too!

I think I'm too nice. I get trapped into expansive responses and she barely speaks. How do I train myself to be an expert like you? Help bro!
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Anonymous #1
#27
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#27
(Original post by swarly)
Yeah agree. only point that i disagree on is getting the friendship. if you see someone as more than as a friend, you should pursue them romantically or not at all imo. if i cant have you like i want you, then i dont want you. while that may sound harsh, it does someone no good to see someone they like dating someone else. the only time this wouldnt apply, is if you were ALREADY friends.

Other than that I agree. Like to keep that circle small.
Okay so in terms of action now.. I can't ask her out as she lives far away. Should I still contact her now and again? Or should I let our supposed friendship float to the dustbin of history?
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Anonymous #1
#28
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#28
I agree, but she was moving country when I met her. I thought it best not to pursue. I have gradually ended up feeling more for her after she pretty much spoke to me every day for 5-6 months on that messenger at work.

Still we could be friends couldn't we? Why is it that now only I seem to initiate conversation. She also hardly replies. Is she just keeping me as a backup?
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swarly
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#29
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#29
(Original post by Anonymous)
Okay so in terms of action now.. I can't ask her out as she lives far away. Should I still contact her now and again? Or should I let our supposed friendship float to the dustbin of history?
whatever you feel comfortable with.

i would personally put her on the list of people I send forward messages to events like xmas, new years etc. but she wouldnt get a personal message.

tbh you can still ask her out though. she hasnt rejected you yet. if you really want closure, arrange to meet her in person and tell her how you feel. carpe diem lad.

even though you knew she was moving away when you met her, there were all kinds of ways you could have spun it 'I believe people meet each for a reason' etc etc.
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Abstraction
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#30
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#30
(Original post by Anonymous)
Why are girls like that? I would never do that to her or another girl?
Well perhaps this sounds pretty extreme, but I believe that women in general very rarely ever care about guys. I'm not even sure they can love, but they usually form pretty superficial attachments at best. Women do not "love" in the same way men do; we're actually two very different sets of people.

And to those who will say "not all women are self-absorbed narcissists", I'm not so sure. What are the ratio of women to men you see in a crowd hysterically gathering around a celebrity and taking photos around them? Bear in mind people do this to feel special, like they are somehow validated just by being seen with someone famous.

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pshah2
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#31
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#31
(Original post by Abstraction)
Well perhaps this sounds pretty extreme, but I believe that women in general very rarely ever care about guys. I'm not even sure they can love, but they usually form pretty superficial attachments at best. Women do not "love" in the same way men do; we're actually two very different sets of people.

And to those who will say "not all women are self-absorbed narcissists", I'm not so sure. What are the ratio of women to men you see in a crowd hysterically gathering around a celebrity and taking photos around them? Bear in mind people do this to feel special, like they are somehow validated just by being seen with someone famous.

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These are some very pertinent points!

some people should be around your entire life and others should just make an appearance
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Anonymous #1
#32
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#32
(Original post by swarly)
whatever you feel comfortable with.

i would personally put her on the list of people I send forward messages to events like xmas, new years etc. but she wouldnt get a personal message.

tbh you can still ask her out though. she hasnt rejected you yet. if you really want closure, arrange to meet her in person and tell her how you feel. carpe diem lad.

even though you knew she was moving away when you met her, there were all kinds of ways you could have spun it 'I believe people meet each for a reason' etc etc.
Fair point. I think I should probs stop spending time to write such personal messages. I get trapped though. She responds enthusiastically to my 1st email and then not at all to my 2nd.
I would have liked to ask her out. I mean I don't think she is "the one" who I spend the rest of my life with, but I do like her and think she would have been fun as a girlfriend. Well, now though not so sure with the no reply's.

Yeah technically she hasn't rejected me.. but she lives abroad now and also how would I ask her out now she lives elsewhere?

Really appreciate this man!
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Anonymous #1
#33
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#33
(Original post by Abstraction)
Well perhaps this sounds pretty extreme, but I believe that women in general very rarely ever care about guys. I'm not even sure they can love, but they usually form pretty superficial attachments at best. Women do not "love" in the same way men do; we're actually two very different sets of people.

And to those who will say "not all women are self-absorbed narcissists", I'm not so sure. What are the ratio of women to men you see in a crowd hysterically gathering around a celebrity and taking photos around them? Bear in mind people do this to feel special, like they are somehow validated just by being seen with someone famous.

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Tbh I tend to agree with you. I'm thinking she is a bit of a narcissist. Why does she not reply and why does she blank my 2nd email?

Just additional info.. once I asked her did she have whatsapp (I had her number when she was in the UK), she just ignored the message.

Should I just not initiate contact again? I think she would probably never contact me on her own accord.

I think it's because I fancy her and am grateful to her contacting me everyday and having someone to talk to during a difficult period at work (she didn't know that).
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neerajpatel
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#34
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#34
(Original post by Anonymous)
Tbh I tend to agree with you. I'm thinking she is a bit of a narcissist. Why does she not reply and why does she blank my 2nd email?

Just additional info.. once I asked her did she have whatsapp (I had her number when she was in the UK), she just ignored the message.

Should I just not initiate contact again? I think she would probably never contact me on her own accord.

I think it's because I fancy her and am grateful to her contacting me everyday and having someone to talk to during a difficult period at work (she didn't know that).
Ah so you feel like you owe her. That's admirable man, but don't worry, you seem to be a real nice guy and have been nice to her, but she's now turned from being nice to an attention seeker.

Meet a nice girl and enjoy a nice relationship rather than this twisted game this one is playing.
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Anonymous #1
#35
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#35
(Original post by Abstraction)
Well perhaps this sounds pretty extreme, but I believe that women in general very rarely ever care about guys. I'm not even sure they can love, but they usually form pretty superficial attachments at best. Women do not "love" in the same way men do; we're actually two very different sets of people.

And to those who will say "not all women are self-absorbed narcissists", I'm not so sure. What are the ratio of women to men you see in a crowd hysterically gathering around a celebrity and taking photos around them? Bear in mind people do this to feel special, like they are somehow validated just by being seen with someone famous.

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Very good points!

I did not think about that! You seem very knowledgable and wise man! Would you mind helping me with another conundrum please?

http://www.thestudentroom.co.uk/show....php?t=2859417

Would really appreciate it bro!
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swarly
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#36
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#36
(Original post by Anonymous)
Fair point. I think I should probs stop spending time to write such personal messages. I get trapped though. She responds enthusiastically to my 1st email and then not at all to my 2nd.
I would have liked to ask her out. I mean I don't think she is "the one" who I spend the rest of my life with, but I do like her and think she would have been fun as a girlfriend. Well, now though not so sure with the no reply's.

Yeah technically she hasn't rejected me.. but she lives abroad now and also how would I ask her out now she lives elsewhere?

Really appreciate this man!
Wait is she living abroad permanently? If so you need to forget about her and give this a listen:



you definitely appear to be suffering from oneitis. I dont think you would feel this way, if you were texting multiple women at the same time.
also, if women think you can't get any other woman but her, it will generally put them off. Just like Eve at the apple, had she not been she can have it freely, would she really have had it?
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neerajpatel
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#37
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#37
(Original post by swarly)
Wait is she living abroad permanently? If so you need to forget about her and give this a listen:



you definitely appear to be suffering from oneitis. I dont think you would feel this way, if you were texting multiple women at the same time.
also, if women think you can't get any other woman but her, it will generally put them off. Just like Eve at the apple, had she not been she can have it freely, would she really have had it?
Clever song!
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swarly
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#38
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#38
(Original post by neerajpatel)
Clever song!
can confirm some girls go crazy for you when you do this to them.

i was just experimenting with someone i didnt really see a future with, and I happened to be going through a portion of life where I was a major prick at the time (well more of one than I am now atleast) :lol:
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Anonymous #1
#39
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#39
(Original post by swarly)
Wait is she living abroad permanently? If so you need to forget about her and give this a listen:



you definitely appear to be suffering from oneitis. I dont think you would feel this way, if you were texting multiple women at the same time.
also, if women think you can't get any other woman but her, it will generally put them off. Just like Eve at the apple, had she not been she can have it freely, would she really have had it?

Fair points. Well yeah she lives abroad, but I mean she was initiating messenger chats from there anyway. It's only when I moved firms and didn't have messenger anymore, and tried to keep in touch, that it's been like this.

But to be honest, despite the lack of contact now, she has always been a bit keeping me at arm's length as a back up. She tended to flirt with me a lot, ask me if I have a girlfriend and then suddenly go silent.

When she needed something, like advice or someone to help get something at a shop (when she lived here) she would come to me and virtually throw herself at me..
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Gambit92
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#40
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#40
You're just beta

Women aren't into ping pong emails/texts

Why didn't tell her you liked her from the start?
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