The Student Room Group

How do Muslims fall inlove?

So how do you fall in love & get married? If the relation between guys and girls isn't permitted by islam & if it's forbidden to have a friend from the other sex, how do ya'll get married? Also have you ever fallen in love but decided to not continue with the relationship due to your religion? Any experiences you wanna share?

I'm a muslim myself & i already know the answer 2 this question. I thought it wud be better if we have different opinions 4rm a variety of people & 2 also clear the misconception non-muslims have when it comes 2 Islamic marriage.

Scroll to see replies

Reply 1
they don't. They usually choose an arrange marriage in the hope that they'll love afterwards. I'm sure muslims would be allowed to have friends of other sex though, i'm not sure..
Reply 2
i thought this was going to be a joke... oh well pretty much answered above
I'm a muslim and I am allowed o have friends of the opposite sex! Its not forbidden lol
Reply 4
lala_land
they don't. They usually choose an arrange marriage in the hope that they'll love afterwards. I'm sure muslims would be allowed to have friends of other sex though, i'm not sure..


Not necessarily. Arranged marriage doesn't mean 'forced' marriage. What happens is that parents arrange both sides to meet up. They talk with each other and if there's no spark they call it off. However, if they do like each other...they meet up again....and again..and again....until both sides decide to get engaged.
Reply 5
Adem
So how do you fall in love & get married? If the relation between guys and girls isn't permitted by islam & if it's forbidden to have a friend from the other sex, how do ya'll get married? Also have you ever fallen in love but decided to not continue with the relationship due to your religion? Any experiences you wanna share?


I never actually thought about this.

Your not allowed friends from the other sex but many do regardless. And they often tell there parents about it and they eventually get married. However they are just friends who occasionaly talk and get on well.

there are some cases where they are actually going out as proper bf/gf and when the parents find out it is kind of to late and they are given an ultimatum that they will marry them or die unmarried! Parents get scared and are afraid that others the "others" generally being relatives. Holding this fair the parents agree to the wedding and the wedding happens.

Another is a guy or a girl will tell there parents that there is this person (generally a family friend) who they like and would like to marry. Then the parenst meet etc etc and get married.

In some soceities i feel there is no such thing as love and you normally get married and then love comes after. Not very popular in Western soceities but it often works in the east, as the marriage works.

Arrange marriage too! I dont understand it and don't like it but it works.

I think i have covered all the basics. :wink:

I hope i have not offended anyone and appologise if i have! :smile:

I hope i will fall in love and something will materialise. :biggrin:

I have stories too, but dont haver the time to type them out now! :redface:
Muslims are human aswell right ? They fall in love just like anyone else. Marrying that person is a whole different story though. I feel sorry for Muslims who fall in love but can't marry him/her because of the tradition of arranged marriages.
Reply 7
10inchpianist
Muslims are human aswell right ? They fall in love just like anyone else. Marrying that person is a whole different story though. I feel sorry for Muslims who fall in love but can't marry him/her because of the tradition of arranged marriages.


Read my post above :smile:
Reply 8
Adem
So how do you fall in love & get married? If the relation between guys and girls isn't permitted by islam & if it's forbidden to have a friend from the other sex, how do ya'll get married? Also have you ever fallen in love but decided to not continue with the relationship due to your religion? Any experiences you wanna share?


Depends entirely on how strict the family is I think. I say this because one of my Muslim friends had her parents totally flip out at her and ceased to trust her at all and basically grounded her pretty much for life for simply having a hotmail account and the fury increased when they found a guy's photo in one of her emails. He was just a friend. But anyway. I've gotta say I really hate her parents (have had my friend tell me about her parents for the past year or so - she's completely oppressed in her own home). This particular Muslim friend tells me that it's rare for a Muslim to fall in love, and she, at 16, only wants to marry if she falls in love.

However, having said that, I also remember a Muslim girl dating a white guy and she was pretty opened about it. It seems fine for her. I don't know about family but certainly she didn't seem to have any reservations about race and dating etc. But then, there's an Indian girl - Hindu - who's having a secret relationship with a white guy and she says her parents will only ever find out after they're married, should they marry. And then I know a Sikh girl who isn't gonna date - instead her parents will choose for her a suiter, she'll meet him and then see if she likes him and if she does, marry him. She's allowed to refuse, but she says she'll never date and does not want to.

Most Asians I know of from the last generation - the parents generation basically - are all in arranged marriages. I can't see my first friend's parents being in love. Although I do know my other Indian friend's parents are in love, according to my friend cus of how they hug etc.

So yeh, I think it depends very much on the family. My other Indian friend's sister has recently married a white guy, complete with Indian wedding and completely approved by the family. On the other hand, my other Indian friend - the one whose parents are in love - she isn't sure if she's ever allowed to date, especially one who's not Indian.

Anyway, conclusion with the general view I'm getting is - maybe it is rare for Muslims to fall in love, but I think that depends very much on their families, how strict they are and what cast they're in. I'm not sure you can say "it's forbidden" cus there're some who seem repulsed by western culture yet they live in England, and others who are very opened to western culture while still being very much Indian/Asian etc.
Reply 9
#zomg#oh ****, I'm not allowed to have friends of the other sex??!!:eek4:

hmm no true, else Im gonna be burning for a little while longer.
Milli
Read my post above :smile:


But the would-be bride/groom would only have a pond of 20 or so contending fish to choose from that the parents would pick.
Yes today it is different and everyone meets and has a gay old time. However koran does say no meeting. However divorce is fine, as long as the man wants to. So, they can still fall in love.
Reply 12
In the same way the rest of us do I imagine...perhaps there are technicalities after meeting someone you like many of us would not have to deal with, but 'being with someone', is not the same as 'loving someone', which you can do without going out with them...

It also depends on how strict a brand of Islam they/their families follow.
Reply 13
JayB124
Yes today it is different and everyone meets and has a gay old time. However koran does say no meeting. However divorce is fine, as long as the man wants to. So, they can still fall in love.

Got reference?
The koran



I'll see if i can find a web based thingy.
Reply 15
i am a muslim and i am verry much in love (with my husband )it happens to us all , im interested to know why you ask

How do Muslims fall in love? :rolleyes:

Well, I heard what happens is Big groups of Muslim men and women are taken to a big circular tube in the middle of devon somewhere, where they're forced to run as fast as they can at each other. The men running in one direction whilst the women in the other. Then, Its kinda like Cracking atoms... once they bash heads. Its love. Kinda romantic really.
All I can find now is eunuchs are allowed to be near non-family women...

That's not the same thing.
Reply 18
ahhh it's not just muslims my family are like that!! They don't want me to date but I did anyways and I'm glad I did and will do again but I will probably stick to guys from my community as my parents would never accept an outsider. C'est la vie, jus been brought up that way.
Reply 19
JayB124
The koran



I'll see if i can find a web based thingy.


i meant which passage....=))