Why should men pay for the first date? Watch

Poll: Should the man pay on the first date?
Yes (36)
26.09%
No (102)
73.91%
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Danz123
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#1
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#1
So I may be in the minority here, but I believe that men should not be obligated to pay for a woman AT ALL. If he wants to, that's fine, but no woman should ever expect it. Unfortunately the majority do. Just googling this topics brings up results which show articles agreeing that a guy should pay. I found one article that disagreed with this. And no, these women are not purely anti-feminist, many are also feminist.

Alot of people agree that women should contribute... after the first few dates. I've yet to find a person (other than the writer of that one article) who thinks men should not fork over money on the first date. When I voiced my opinion to my friends on the subject, they were mortified and vehemently argued men should pay. Why? Because it's tradition/men are the protectors/it gives a good impression... bla bla bla.

I'd understand if we were still stuck in an era where women didn't work and couldn't contribute. However, now they can. Therefore, the view that men should pay is obsolete and illogical. In my personal opinion, a guy should ALWAYS split the bill on the first date. If he does want to pay, make the date dirt cheap. That way, he can see whether the girl is into him, or his money/a free meal. The same applies to splitting the bill. A common retort I've heard against this was that the woman is giving up her 'valuable' time to see you, so you should pay for her. My response was: is the guy giving up his time worth nothing? No reply...

Oh, and before anyone argues: "women spend alot of money on how they look! The least a guy could do is pay for her food!" Yeah... what about a guy who grooms himself/who makes an effort to look good for the date? Should the woman pay for him in that case? No? I thought not. So why should he pay for her? They both put in some effort to look good right? Besides, what has your expenditure on beauty products and clothes got to do with NOT paying for your food/movie ticket/etc?

Discuss.
5
Omega3!
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#2
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#2
They shouldn't

/thread
2
Mockery
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#3
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Whom ever instigates the date should pay. They are asking for the other party's company and volunteering to be the hosts.


That's why only men pay.
26
TroyAndAbed
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#4
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#4
lol no
0
furbybrain
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#5
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#5
I dated a guy for a year. He stood about waiting for me to pay for the entire time. I dumped him now

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4
Clip
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#6
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#6
Think of it as an investment.
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Martina_
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#7
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#7
(Original post by furbybrain)
I dated a guy for a year. He stood about waiting for me to pay for the entire time. I dumped him now

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Lmfao what? I was gonna say "it took you a whole year???" But then realised that we condone such when we really like someone. Glad you're done with him lol. How was the experience for you?
1
furbybrain
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#8
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(Original post by Martina_)
Lmfao what? I was gonna say "it took you a whole year???" But then realised that we condone such when we really like someone. Glad you're done with him lol. How was the experience for you?
Utterly ****e

But hey ho first boyfriend and all that...

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ChickenMadness
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#9
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#9
Should go duch.

Or if I'm feeling like a ******** I'll probably just use them for a free meal. Depending on if they're a feminist or not.
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Danz123
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#10
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#10
(Original post by furbybrain)
I dated a guy for a year. He stood about waiting for me to pay for the entire time. I dumped him now

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Wait, he was waiting for you to pay for him? I mean, a girl with such an expectation is one thing, but a guy? I've never met a guy who expects a woman to pay for him.

If you mean he was waiting for you to pay for yourself... then I have no words.
0
Plumstone
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#11
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#11
I tried so hard to pay my boyfriend for the dates we went on, but he flatly refused because he has a well-paid job and I'm a full-time student and he always said that it wasn't fair for me to pay when I don't have any money.

These days, I reluctantly let him pay for things (although sometimes I put my foot down and insist that I pay for cinema tickets, dinner, etc), but once I'm working then we will share everything and I will feel much better once that happens.
4
H0ls
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#12
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(Original post by Mockery)
Whom ever instigates the date should pay. They are asking for the other party's company and volunteering to be the hosts.
I kinda agree with this depending on the context.
If I was to go on a date with someone I already knew pretty well (just not in a romantic manner) then I wouldn't think twice about splitting.

But for example, if someone asked for my number at a bus stop and then instigated a date then I'd still happily split (since I agreed to go, I would clearly have also expressed interest) but deep down, I reckon that person should have paid lol.
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furbybrain
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#13
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#13
(Original post by Danz123)
Wait, he was waiting for you to pay for him? I mean, a girl with such an expectation is one thing, but a guy? I've never met a guy who expects a woman to pay for him.

If you mean he was waiting for you to pay for yourself... then I have no words.
Yeah he'd say "oh we should grab a coffee" id be like "ok", we'd get over to the counter and he'd just hover there looking at me until I said "what would you like?" Then hed say "cappuccino please!" And smile innocently.. it worked every time - me being the over generous sap that I am!

Hahaha until I started to just let him hover there without saying a word! Wow that was awkward..

We only went on dates if I initiated them, so then as the rule goes, that meant also paying for them.

He wasn't even broke. Just one of these people wholl do anything for a free ride without ever realising how bad it looks!

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booklover109
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#14
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#14
Hey,
Glad someone's brought this up tbh, I think if someone wants to pay fair enough but I'm the sort that if someone paid for say my cinema ticket, I'll pay for them the next time or both parties pay equally for whatever they do. It's only fair, and as a young woman myself I think it's utterly stupid of ladies to expect a guy to pay.. you're both there to enjoy each others company, no one should be or is obliged to pay for the other!
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booklover109
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#15
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#15
(Original post by furbybrain)
Yeah he'd say "oh we should grab a coffee" id be like "ok", we'd get over to the counter and he'd just hover there looking at me until I said "what would you like?" Then hed say "cappuccino please!" And smile innocently.. it worked every time - me being the over generous sap that I am!

Hahaha until I started to just let him hover there without saying a word! Wow that was awkward..

We only went on dates if I initiated them, so then as the rule goes, that meant also paying for them.

He wasn't even broke. Just one of these people wholl do anything for a free ride without ever realising how bad it looks!

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I honestly feel awkward just reading that, what a complete and utter tw*t.
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furbybrain
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#16
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#16
(Original post by furbybrain)
Yeah he'd say "oh we should grab a coffee" id be like "ok", we'd get over to the counter and he'd just hover there looking at me until I said "what would you like?" Then hed say "cappuccino please!" And smile innocently.. it worked every time - me being the over generous sap that I am!

Hahaha until I started to just let him hover there without saying a word! Wow that was awkward..

We only went on dates if I initiated them, so then as the rule goes, that meant also paying for them.

He wasn't even broke. Just one of these people wholl do anything for a free ride without ever realising how bad it looks!

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So yes, he expected me to pay for both of us.

Every. ****ing. Time.

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furbybrain
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#17
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(Original post by booklover109)
I honestly feel awkward just reading that, what a complete and utter tw*t.
Haha oh gawd... it was so awkward. Sometimes even the bar staff were awkwarded by it. So embarrassing it was. Yet he was just to busy being pleased that hed 'manipulated' me into getting free stuff, he never noticed the shame

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bumblebee342
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#18
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#18
I don't think they should pay.

There's been situations where I've let people pay because they've insisted -one guy seemed pretty offended when I tried to pay half. I was then with a guy who was earning money (whilst I was a broke student), who would never let me pay a penny on a date.

I'll always try to pay my half though
1
Danz123
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#19
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#19
(Original post by furbybrain)
So yes, he expected me to pay for both of us.

Every. ****ing. Time.

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While that guy was a waste of oxygen, guys like him are very rare indeed. The problem is, in the few minutes since you've posted that, you've received sympathy. You also probably felt used and taken advantage of, as well as thinking that guy was a jerk. Welcome to the world of guys. The problem is, way too many women have this mentality. The majority do when it comes to the first few dates, and still quite a lot remain entitled even after a year (like your very douchey partner). It's a mentality that, by and large, is accepted when it comes from a woman. I just find it rather interesting when you swap the genders and people see how ridiculous it is when a guy just stares at you, waiting for you to get your wallet out and pay for him. :lol:
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Gambit92
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#20
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#20
Only a beta would pay, 50/50 or she can gtfo

I only pay if she's going to give up dat ass on the same night
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