Sceptical or not?

This is eating away at me, I'm actually getting to the point where I'm hating my friend. But, this is sorta the way it goes:

Years ago when I was like in 3rd year, I had 2 'best friends.' So lets call one, 'Emma'. Well, Emma used to be really jealous that me and 'Jane' were a lot closer than her and Jane. She never actually said anything about it but I could just sense it and then when Emma made up a whole big story about me 'grassin' her into the Head teacher for something I didnt do, it was sort of confirmed. Her little plan worked, she turned everyone against me, playing the whole victim role when I hadnt honestly said a thing. It all got to me and I cried. She then apologised but never ever admitted that she made it up, it was all just a 'sorry.' And I, for the sake of keeping peace, bit my lip and forgot about it all.

Things were then fine for the next few years and we all accepted that there was three of us and never fought at all hardly. But gradually 'Emma' started the whole attention thing again. Numerous friends and relatives 'died' and there was always some sort of drama in school, whether it be that or her apparent fainting. I feel guilty for being sceptical about this all but from back in the 3rd year days I got a taster of her capability of being able to fool everyone. But part of me thinks, don't be such a heartless bitch and another is saying come on, her fainting was always when there was an audience and the relatives dying was when there was coursework to be handed in or something. Anyway, I bit my lip and didn't say a thing for fear of her turning on me and everyone else against me.

But as this went on and ignoring these times, we had a great friendship, she's actually the kindest friend I have and would do anything for me. So we grew a lot closer and she began to confide in me and admit that she'd been to the doctor and had depression. And then she eventually told me that she'd been abused by a relative as a child. And now I'm stuck. I don't know whether to believe her or trust my instincts as this being another attention seeking stunt. I hate myself for thinking that as all the time shes telling me I'm such a great friend and how much she loves me. but I fear that that is only because I show her the sympathy she wants and from all this other stuff I don't know what to think. Maybe this is the reason she's so messed up or maybe it is just another attempt at getting attention?

These been a lot of other stuff, like suicide threats which were obviously never carried out but it would take too long to discuss everything here. But basically I'm just asking, from what I've said, do you think I have valid reason not to believe this abuse talk or should I stop being so cynical and trust her? I don't want to fail her as a friend but I feel that I am for thinking this...

Reply 1

Mattmoy_2000

She's an attention seeker. Stay Clear, you don't want to have people threatening to commit suicide on you. Seriously.

Reply 2

Figaro123

Definately an attention seeker. I'm surprised you've tolerated it this long!

Reply 3

matchu

I'd distance myself from her, I had a mate EXACTLY like this - it didn't end well. With a couple of us getting into serious fights and getting properly hurt.

There's something seriously wrong with this type of person mentally, they can be the nicest person to your face, whilst lying to you about everything yet seeming genuine.

Reply 4

Kittennffc

Its a bit of a tricky situation, as she might be saying this 'abused by a relative' stuff just for attention or she might be telling the truth and is somehow saying that her lies before were because of this. It's such a personal and awful thing that happened to her (if it did happen), that I wouldn't want to doubt it in case it is true, despite her previous behaviour.

I'd just try to comfort her, offer her your support and try and be there for her as much as you can be, without her walking all over you, or without her having to rely on you for everything. Without sounding selfish or anything, it's a horrible burden for you to be under knowing that it might have happened and could be damaging to your friendship in the long run.