The Student Room Group

Really worried about freshers week

Hey, was just wondering if anyone on here could reassure me as i'm getting a few pre-uni nerves! Actually pre-freshers week nerves more than uni ones.

I'm naturally a quiet, shy person so I'm dreading a lot of fresher's week as it seems to be so social. Centred around playing board games in pubs, clubbing, karaoke, games and pub crawls etc. I dont like getting drunk either so that doesnt help! Once I get to know people i'm usually loud and confident but obviously I wont make good friends in a day so i'm worried. Most of my close friends are going to unis at least an hour away from me.

Im totally fine with the idea of uni, its just the whole freshers week thing i'm stressing about. I know its necessary to encourage people to make friends and stuff but I dont want to make friends that way - I have a feeling that most people will be getting blind drunk as its their first time away from home etc and it'll be awkward. I hate playing games too as it seems so forced and stupid.

Can anyone help me stop worrying? I know its silly and i'll probably get there and it'll be fine but I cant get the whole thing out of my mind. Part of me just wishes i could skip it altogether and start my course!

Scroll to see replies

Reply 1
Just be yourself... Itll be fine!
Reply 2
Anonymous
Hey, was just wondering if anyone on here could reassure me as i'm getting a few pre-uni nerves! Actually pre-freshers week nerves more than uni ones.

I'm naturally a quiet, shy person so I'm dreading a lot of fresher's week as it seems to be so social. Centred around playing board games in pubs, clubbing, karaoke, games and pub crawls etc. I dont like getting drunk either so that doesnt help! Once I get to know people i'm usually loud and confident but obviously I wont make good friends in a day so i'm worried. Most of my close friends are going to unis at least an hour away from me.

Im totally fine with the idea of uni, its just the whole freshers week thing i'm stressing about. I know its necessary to encourage people to make friends and stuff but I dont want to make friends that way - I have a feeling that most people will be getting blind drunk as its their first time away from home etc and it'll be awkward. I hate playing games too as it seems so forced and stupid.

Can anyone help me stop worrying? I know its silly and i'll probably get there and it'll be fine but I cant get the whole thing out of my mind. Part of me just wishes i could skip it altogether and start my course!

Im sure youre not the only shy person going to uni, theyll be other people that dont want to do stuff too! dont worry about it. but try let ur hair down as much as you can, because its what you make it.. and you may surprise yourself, and actually enjoy the things you were dreading! just relax and dont worry about what people think of you, then youre more likely to be yourself sooner.. hope that helps! good luck from a fellow freshers!
Reply 3
I feel exactly the same. I don't drink, and I'm quite shy and quiet, so Fresher's Week is a bit daunting. However, I want to make friends so I'm just going to clench my fists and try hard. I'm also a bit of a dork when I meet new people so I'll try and suppress that too - I guess I'm just awkward around new people.

Even though I don't drink, I'm still going to go to the activities - maybe not pub crawls but to disco nights and whatever. Everyone's nervous, so don't worry too much!
Reply 4
I say go with the flow for fresher's week, who cares if you don't like playing board games in pubs, or getting drunk? Just go out with people, don't drink as much, and then once freshers is over everyone will calm down anyway.
Reply 5
I'm the same i'm really shy and find it difficult 2 make friends. I unlike u tho do drink and i find that if i do have a couple of drinks it relaxes me and makes me more confident so i feel more comfortable talking 2 people. If u do just stay in ure room and don't go out with others then it'll b harder 4 u cos u wont b able 2 talk about wot u got up 2 the night b4 and they might not realise u r shy and just think that u r strange. I'm sure there will b other people who don't like getting drunk tho so try making friends with these people so u will have someone 2 hang round with when the others r out drinking.
Reply 6
what uni are you going to?
Reply 7
yea im crapping mysef as well. I have a stutter and its going to be so embarrassing when trying to make new friends.
Seriously don't worry guys. I didn't really drink when i started uni (has changed slightly now but hey nevermind!) and didn't go to any of the drinking events. The best trip I went on was to see a film at the cinema where I met one of my best friends - we just instantly clicked and everything was comfortable and not at all awkward from the very start. Nearly a year on, we are about to move in together along with 4 other friends who I completely adore. You will get the hang of socialising, it comes easy to some people and not to others, but freshers week makes it easy as everyone is in exactly the same boat and eager to get to know everyone. I think it was about 10 days before i felt completely at ease and relaxed in my new surroundings and with my new friends, but it was one hell of an experience and I wouldn't change it for anything.
Reply 9
I feel pretty much the same as welll

I figure, there's hundreds of people there, there will be people who won't want to do certain things, and they'll always be people who want to do what you want - you won't be alone.
Reply 10
Hey don't worry about it everyone is friendly as they don't know anyone either. Just go along to as many different things as possible and i am sure you will have a great time.
Reply 11
freshers' week can be whatever you want it to be like.

if you're a larger lout who loves to shout and down drinks, then you'll have fun.
if you're a bit quiet and don't like to get stupidly drunk, then you'll still have fun.

the variety of people at uni is so great, don't worry about it. i don't think i made any friends through playing board games. you just happen to meet people purely because of the high density of people around you.

also, although freshers' week is good fun, you still have plenty of time afterwards to make friends and meet people. i'd say that you'll meet most of your friends after freshers' week. just go with the flow and don't worry about it.
Everyone is the same boat. It may feel like everyone knows each other sometimes but you can guarantee they've only just met. Nobody knows each other...

You don't have to get drunk to have a good time.In fact,if I saw someone at Freshers' Week having loads of fun and not touching a drop of alcohol I'd probably talk to them....the only person in the room that would make sense,haha.

I'm really worried about Freshers' Week too.I'm awful at starting conversations with people and I'm really frightened I'm just going to get nervous and go into bitch mode and ignore everyone...

Everyone feels exactly the same as you...when you get there just chat to some people then invite them to whatever if you feel you can't turn up alone and just chat.
Reply 13
No-one will force you to play games if you don't want to, or drink if you don't want to. These events are only organised so that those who want to take part can have a bit of fun - you are under no pressure at all to join in. You can turn up if you like and be yourself, but if you feel a particular event isn't for you then you don't have to take part.
Reply 14
I'm usually shy as well, and never confident or quite myself around new people, but I'm sure when I get there I'll just throw myself into something and find some people who are similar to myself.

It's something you can either worry about endless by thinking about it, or just wait for it to happe and try to make the most of it.
I'm quite introverted and I can seem really rude if I'm nervous and I have problems with eye contact. Also, I don't want to drink to excess and become really scary.

I'm just gonna make the most of it, though.
omg, im not thinking about it. im gunna be such a loner.
street
yea im crapping mysef as well. I have a stutter and its going to be so embarrassing when trying to make new friends.


Hey there pre-freshers week stammering anxiety buddy.

Yeah, it's not going to be fun introducing myself to so many people within the space of a few weeks.
Reply 18
If i could go back in time and give the pre-fresher me some advice it would be not to worry. I had worries like these when i was just starting out (at leeds university) I spent my freshers week in my bedroom crying cos i was home sick and i didn't seem to have the same desire to go out/drink every night that my housemates had.
I literally made one or two friends in the first time.

But then i made friends with a girl on my course who lived at the other campus and i realised from spending time round her halls that i was just in the wrong place. The people i had been placed with (although i did get along really well with) were not necessarily the people i would have chosen to live with. i moved campus and it was like a freshers week all over again. brilliant.
OC_girl
If i could go back in time and give the pre-fresher me some advice it would be not to worry. I had worries like these when i was just starting out (at leeds university) I spent my freshers week in my bedroom crying cos i was home sick and i didn't seem to have the same desire to go out/drink every night that my housemates had.
I literally made one or two friends in the first time.

But then i made friends with a girl on my course who lived at the other campus and i realised from spending time round her halls that i was just in the wrong place. The people i had been placed with (although i did get along really well with) were not necessarily the people i would have chosen to live with. i moved campus and it was like a freshers week all over again. brilliant.


Agreed - it might sound like such a cliche, but (with some exceptions) the poeple you first meet are unlikely to be your best friends at uni. when I first started and met the people on my floor, they were nice, but I only really clicked with two of them. Most of my best friends are scattered around everywhere, from my course, societies I've joined, different areas in the college etc. so don't worry in the first few days if you think you'll never find people who have similar interests to yours, 'cause if you are friendly and approachable, you'll be fine. Even if you are naturally quiet and shy and would rather people came to you, you'll find that people will (if you leave your door open etc) come to you because they'll be as eager to make friends as you are.

I'm not the most outgoing person around and I really did find it tough during freshers week as much of it seemed a little forced and it was hard to be away from home. But if you try to stay positive, just go with the flow and try to enjoy the whole experience you'll be fine. Go to as many freshers events -fairs, uni-wide parties, floor meetings, course meetings - as you can squeeze in and if you'd rather not go alone ask someone living near you if they'd like to go there together. It's much more fun that way and you get to know someone better, quickly if you are queueing up for things etc. It doesn't matter if you don't drink - go out anyway and drink orange juice, coke, whatever. If the people you are with don't respect that, you know early on that they aren't right for you. So just be yourself but initially at least try and be a little more confident and approachable than you would normally be, and you'll be fine, really.