MEDICAL: My one year eye opening volunteering reflections at an elderly nursing home,

I was frightened, apprehensive, unsure of what to expect as I began my volunteering opportunity at an elderly nursing home. It’s not that I lacked confidence – but that I had never dealt with elderly residents – especially those who suffered from dementia. I felt I did not have the skills or means to be able to deal with them or meet their needs. In short, I did not really have a clue.

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But here is my advice, in life, we often do pursuits and things which stretch us, which challenge us. In life you constantly find yourself out of your comfort zone. This does not mean you act without knowledge, but that you allow yourself – in a safe controlled environment, to put yourself out of your comfort zone to gain that knowledge.

My first resident was a very elderly man, whose name I won’t mention nor the place I volunteered to preserve his identity. He had quite extreme dementia, and I was not able to have a direct or proper conversation with him. Quite often some words were mumbled, and some phrases randomly spoken to me. Yet, over the weeks I was with him I managed to find ways to engage with him- and it felt extremely rewarding.

I used books and visual images, when he laughed I laughed a long with him. I always smiled and kept a calm demeanor. I reflected and understood that someone who suffers from dementia would not want a hundred different questions being hurled at them. Therefore I picked up on key words. If he spoke about his father, or an event, I said ‘did you enjoy that?’ or ‘your father’, ‘that is really interesting’, ‘do you like it?’, ‘did you enjoy it?’.

You most likely won’t meet an individual with extremely severe dementia the first time you go to an elderly nursing home. Most –in my experience- can hold a moderate conversation, but often forget things, and often confuse you as their family member, relative, and so on. It is really important, at least in my experience, although to not lie or deceive, but to improvise. For example, if an elderly resident said, we really enjoyed that, did you enjoy it? You know you were not there, but you know you’ll only confuse them. Don’t say ‘I am x or y’, or your father or mother, just say, ‘that sounds like an amazing place to be, I really do think I would enjoy it’.

The mental and emotional side to volunteering is also something that is really crucial to experience and reflect on. when I was surrounded by elderly residents, often frail and many suffering from dementia – some with quite distressing conditions, at first it really did cause me to feel extremely lost, out of place, and have a great sense of empathy towards them. I thought to myself –is medicine really for me?

However, what is crucial to understand is that you are only a human being. Even doctors –ones I have myself shadowed and asked questions to- have told me they too are prone to feeling sad or having emotions. The only thing you must reflect on is, with time, could you learn to control these emotions and have that fine balance – between not becoming too attached to a patient, but also having empathy for them? Not allowing your emotions to affect your work, without losing that human element of wanting to empathize with someone?

(edited 9 years ago)

Hope this helps

It seems like you have learnt a good lesson there. Which I guess is one of the best things you can get from volunteering. It was interesting to read :smile: