The Student Room Group

Am I in the wrong?

I'll try and make this brief. At lunchtime today, instead of sitting with my usual group of close friends, I sat with another friend who was sitting by herself. Was quite happy sitting and chatting with her, until my the first group suddenly all started staring at me - as a joke obviously - and were trying to beckon to me to come over. I didn't go, as I was happy talking to this other girl - and if I had gone over she would've been left by herself (the two don't really get along). They all acted really miffed and said that I was blanking them (which I wasn't) and generally made a big deal out of it.

Now they're all saying that I've "left" their friendship group and am acting like I hate them all - I'm not! Is it such a crime to sit with someone else at lunch? Sorry if this sounds petty but I'm annoyed at my friends for thinking this way!
Reply 1

Now they're all saying that I've "left" their friendship group and am acting like I hate them all - I'm not! Is it such a crime to sit with someone else at lunch? Sorry if this sounds petty but I'm annoyed at my friends for thinking this way!


If they weren't so quick to exclude people from the clique, there wouldn't be a problem.

You're in the right. If they don't want to make new friends, they should at least resepect the fact that you do.
Reply 2
Well, i think that you just need to explain why you went to sit with that girl, and that you're sorry that you didn't tell you were going to, but that you're not leaving their 'group' and that they're still your best friends. I think they just need reassurance that you're not leaving. It can be hard and cause them to feel left out if you didn't warn them you were going to sit there. So just explain and i'm sure they will feel fine about it
Reply 3
Tennessee
Well, i think that you just need to explain why you went to sit with that girl, and that you're sorry that you didn't tell you were going to, but that you're not leaving their 'group' and that they're still your best friends. I think they just need reassurance that you're not leaving. It can be hard and cause them to feel left out if you didn't warn them you were going to sit there. So just explain and i'm sure they will feel fine about it


But I was literally sitting about 2metres from them! I'm more cross that they expected me to be at their beck and call, that I'll just come whenever they call me! And what's more, in registration after that one of my closer friends from that group walked past, so I said "Hey, you alright?" (standard greeting) and she just looked right through me! I just feel like I'm losing my friends - and I've no idea why!!
Reply 4
Lol, I had this problem too though I knew really my friends were just joking around. Maybe they were doing that too? After all, all the staring and beckoning over might just be a way of getting your attention.

It's not your fault and they're just jealous that you get along with more people :P
Reply 5
Sounds like your group of friends are being a bit insensitive and immature about it all.

Whereas you noticing the other person sat on their own, shows you to be more sensitive. I'd say you're certainly in the right on this one!
*Bah* Petty playground politics...

Suppose you're hoping for a barrage of comments keenly defending your "caring sensitivity", etc etc?

Your friends think you snubbed them, which to an extent, you did.

Speak to them about it.
Reply 7
Perhaps you could buy back your friend's friendship with sweets.
Reply 8
Your friends sound a tad pathetic and it is actually quite hard to know what to do in these situations, seeing as blanking them may make it worse, but going back to them just encourages their behaviour. Explain why you did what you did and if they are still annoyed, screw them.
Reply 9
I really do think that they just need reassurance. Two meters it may be lol but you know, have you said why you sat there? I know that they shouldn't expect you to be at their beck and call, but this IS what happens with friends, friends are always there normally, so when suddenly they choose not to be, you have to understand why they were under the impression you could be called over. They are being immature about this, but just try to talk to them
Reply 10
Silly little children. If you acknowledged them then they were the ones in the wrong.
Reply 11
Champagne-Dahling
*Bah* Petty playground politics...

Suppose you're hoping for a barrage of comments keenly defending your "caring sensitivity", etc etc?

Your friends think you snubbed them, which to an extent, you did.

Speak to them about it.


Um...no actually, I'm not. I'm upset because I'm losing some great friends; and the girl I was sitting with probably thinks I only did it out of pity. So thanks for that, that makes me feel just great.

And for the record, I'm 18, in my final year of school, and not wanting to lose contact with my friends before we go separate ways.
Nothing wrong with you meeting other friends, they are the one's with the problem.
Don't worry. You aren't going to lose your friends over something like this! It's good that you took the chance to talk to the girl and I'm sure the blanking is only temporary. It's not like you want to leave them. If they're 18 too then they'd understand.