Are funerals pointless?

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Philip_Philtrum
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I am of the belief that weddings are pointless religious ceremonies, along with christenings etc...I have to go to a funeral tomorrow and will go. But are they pointless? It is just going to be an incredibly sad occasion and I don't believe in the afterlife or anything like that.

People will say it is a way of saying goodbye...but I believe he is no longer conscious in any form.

It all just seems strange. I am almost certain that it is going to go from incredibly sad affair in the church to a cheesy lets celebrate his life affair at the wake ''it is what he would want'' etc.

All in all I am not looking forward to it.
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M150
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Have you ever been to one before? They can be incredibly helpful for closure for the people closest to the deceased and I've always felt they are more about supporting the people who are left behind.

In my family, along with weddings and christenings - they are a good excuse for a drink and a family get together.
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The_Lonely_Goatherd
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You don't have to believe the person is conscious in any form, to believe that it is a way of saying goodbye. It's more for the family and friends of the deceased one, than the deceased one themselves. It's a way to gather together to mourn the person lost and to console each other :yes:
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Davalla
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I wouldn't say that funerals are pointless, as they are a nice of remembering a fallen person. But I would definitely say that burials are pointless, as the space needed for grave yards could be used for so much more production. In my opinion; I also feel that bodies should be used for cell/muscular donations, I.e. why bury a perfectly good cornea when others need one?

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TenOfThem
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(Original post by Philip_Philtrum)
I am of the belief that weddings are pointless religious ceremonies, along with christenings etc...I have to go to a funeral tomorrow and will go. But are they pointless? It is just going to be an incredibly sad occasion and I don't believe in the afterlife or anything like that.

People will say it is a way of saying goodbye...but I believe he is no longer conscious in any form.

It all just seems strange. I am almost certain that it is going to go from incredibly sad affair in the church to a cheesy lets celebrate his life affair at the wake ''it is what he would want'' etc.

All in all I am not looking forward to it.
No

They allow people to "let go" and give a conclusion to the post-death confusion and mess

People on the edge do not gain in the same way - however - it brings comfort to the main mourners to see people paying their respects
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Philip_Philtrum
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I would class myself as a main mourner with it being my best friend. It's just I have stopped the casual crying phase and now have to start it again.

But I do think it will be a big positive for his mum and sister.

I just have an ability to ignore and bottle up problems...they do just go away with me as well rather than re-surface.
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Armin.
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I'm personally more worried about how many people will be attending my funeral. Just thinking about it gives me anxiety tbh i.e. what if people who I thought were friends didn't show up. Will it just be my parents and brother and the odd distant relative in an empty room?


I just feel incredibly anxious thinking about the turn out tbh.
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Philip_Philtrum
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(Original post by Armin.)
I'm personally more worried about how many people will be attending my funeral. Just thinking about it gives me anxiety tbh i.e. what if people who I thought were friends didn't show up. Will it just be my parents and brother and the odd distant relative in an empty room?


I just feel incredibly anxious thinking about the turn out tbh.
The one I am going to will definitely have a big turn out...more than I will have at mine.
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Pectorac
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(Original post by Philip_Philtrum)
People will say it is a way of saying goodbye...but I believe he is no longer conscious in any form.
For a lot of people it is not the act of saying goodbye to the dead person and the dead person actually knowing about it, because as you say how are they going to know? It is about the mourners saying goodbye to themselves on behalf of the dead person who they will not see again, and the mourners saying goodbye to the dead person in their own minds to get some closure. It's not physically about saying goodbye to a dead person with no physical senses and expecting the dead person to create a psychic link saying thanks for saying goodbye to me.
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Armin.
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(Original post by Philip_Philtrum)
The one I am going to will definitely have a big turn out...more than I will have at mine.

:dontknow: this just made more anxious about mine. So thanks :rolleyes:
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chocolatesauce
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They can also be religious, as in some make sure rituals take place in order for the passed one to make it to heaven...
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lauzy00
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I don't think so! It's a wonderful way to say goodbye to a loved one in a beautiful way.
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bubadeeboop
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Funerals are for those left behind, but we tell ourselves they are for the dead. Personally I would be outraged if my family wasted £1000's on a funeral for me, I'm sure the govenrment doesn't want a dead body lying around in public and so would easily dispose of my corpse.

But if someone I cared about were to die, I would want to give them a good send off ...

We dispose of our dead because we can't face watching them decompose, rot or get eaten by wildlife.
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AmyAintDead
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Hey, first off, sorry for your loss. I've been to two funerals this year and I have to agree to a certain point. To me, funerals just do nothing other than force the mourners to feed a bunch of insignificant people who don't really care and it can bring up all the emotion of the loss to start off with. You don't have to cry if you don't want to, and just remember, everyone sees death differently. See it as a closed door, and a new beginning despite the loss.
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abhishekagarwal
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I'd say they are pointless because the wishes aren't reaching the person intended to. Wouldn't he want to listen to all of that when he was alive?
BTW read this book called Tuesdays With Morrie by Mitch Album. A worthwhile read!
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Snagprophet
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They are, but so would birthdays, engagements, cultural festivals, having fun, existing outside of a prison cell, having a job other than manual labour.

But that would be ******ed.
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Kvothe the Arcane
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I don't think so. It at least brings family and friends together. It's easier to grieve collectively than alone.
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DiddyDec01
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No. Once you attend a funeral you will understand their purpose.
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TenOfThem
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(Original post by Philip_Philtrum)
I would class myself as a main mourner with it being my best friend. It's just I have stopped the casual crying phase and now have to start it again.

But I do think it will be a big positive for his mum and sister.

I just have an ability to ignore and bottle up problems...they do just go away with me as well rather than re-surface.
Sorry for your loss

There is no right/wrong way for you to feel or behave at the funeral or at any point during the grieving process so do not worry if you feel that it is a waste of time or if you feel angered by some of the platitudes - any feelings that you have a natural

Your friend's Mum and Sister will indeed be comforted by the feelings of love and support they will be able to take away from the funeral it will help them to find some closure and they will appreciate your being there
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JC.
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(Original post by Armin.)
I'm personally more worried about how many people will be attending my funeral. Just thinking about it gives me anxiety tbh i.e. what if people who I thought were friends didn't show up. Will it just be my parents and brother and the odd distant relative in an empty room?


I just feel incredibly anxious thinking about the turn out tbh.

I would hope that your parents won't be there. :confused:
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