finding it hard talking to girls

ok so yesterday i went to the subways concert (twas great but thats not the point) i went with some freinds one of them being a girl who i like and she has told my friend that im attractive so i thought i was gonna be talking with her alot to see if i could ask her to do something like a date or atleast ask for her number, but through out the whole night there was harldy any conversation between me and her at all i feel really down for not talking to her, i know im a bit shy but but ive met her once or twice and she is really nice. does anyone know what i can do to to counter my shyness?

thanks

Reply 1

Mr.God

7

Make more of an effort.

Reply 2

AT82

You grow out of it, I used to be shy with the girls but I wouldn't even be shy talking to Feane Cotton even if she was naked these days.

Reply 3

kookie_4

OP

1

is it still normal to be this shy at 18 though?

Reply 4

Mr.God

7

It's normal, but it's going to make it more difficult for you to get anywhere with women.

Reply 5

Ron Stoppable

14

AT82

You grow out of it, I used to be shy with the girls but I wouldn't even be shy talking to Feane Cotton even if she was naked these days.

Ming.

Reply 6

TEMPESTOS

Yes its normal at 18.

- people can be shy but sometimes be confident depending on mood (and obviously the situation)

Why are you shy?; usually its because someone is worried: like there worried about going red or looking like a dick then going red :P

Reply 7

kookie_4

OP

1

well can anyone give me any advice so i can get somewhere with women?

Reply 8

antmaster71

kookie_4

ok so yesterday i went to the subways concert (twas great but thats not the point) i went with some freinds one of them being a girl who i like and she has told my friend that im attractive so i thought i was gonna be talking with her alot to see if i could ask her to do something like a date or atleast ask for her number, but through out the whole night there was harldy any conversation between me and her at all i feel really down for not talking to her, i know im a bit shy but but ive met her once or twice and she is really nice. does anyone know what i can do to to counter my shyness?

thanks

I'd just relax take things slowly, talk with each other see how , you both feel about each other.

Reply 9

Schroedinger's Pandora

13

Shy men are the sex.

Perhaps she'll come to you?

Reply 10

username30638

13

kookie_4

ok so yesterday i went to the subways concert (twas great but thats not the point) i went with some freinds one of them being a girl who i like and she has told my friend that im attractive so i thought i was gonna be talking with her alot to see if i could ask her to do something like a date or atleast ask for her number, but through out the whole night there was harldy any conversation between me and her at all i feel really down for not talking to her, i know im a bit shy but but ive met her once or twice and she is really nice. does anyone know what i can do to to counter my shyness?

thanks

Without wishing to make you want to kick yourself repeatedly in the groin... that gig was probably the perfect opportunity to start getting to know that girl.

You were both watching a band you really like, so there is instantly common ground there and stuff for you to talk about. Just asking simple things like if she's having a good time, what her favourite song by them is... that would then naturally lead to talking about other things, and in no time at all you would feel comfortable talking to her. That is, assuming she's a normal kind of person.

Just don't ever plan what you want to say, because it will never work out how you've played it out in your head. Ask lots of questions (but not so many that they become annoying), be interested in what she's saying and above all, listen. And don't feel like you have to be talking non-stop. Silence can be good. :teeth:

Reply 11

Zafda

8

kookie_4

ok so yesterday i went to the subways concert (twas great but thats not the point) i went with some freinds one of them being a girl who i like and she has told my friend that im attractive so i thought i was gonna be talking with her alot to see if i could ask her to do something like a date or atleast ask for her number, but through out the whole night there was harldy any conversation between me and her at all i feel really down for not talking to her, i know im a bit shy but but ive met her once or twice and she is really nice. does anyone know what i can do to to counter my shyness?

thanks

hmm.
do you come across her often?
if you do (e.g at 6th form/college/uni) then try starting up a conversation about the subways concert, i know it wasn't your most 'pimping' time but talk about how the concert was.
try not to think and plan what you'll say to her, just talk to her.
its better just not to think and go with the flow.

put it this way, what is the worst that can happen? you being shy is much worse than you making a fool of yourself, girls like guys that make fools of themselves but get up afterwards and laugh off what they did.

so yeah, don't think// just do.

Reply 12

Lucy_88

10

little_red_sox

Shy men are the sex.

Perhaps she'll come to you?

to that!

Reply 13

Anonymous #1

girls like guys that make fools of themselves but get up afterwards and laugh off what they did.

Really?

I was in the same position as the OP but managed to pluck up the courage to ask the girl for her number. I did it in the most awkward and embarrassing way and surprise, she said "no!". Needless to say I feel like a fool, even moreso because I have to work with this girl because we are colleagues. I'll have to laugh it off, and act like me asking her for her number, and her saying "no" was not a big deal, even though it has bothered me much. But I doubt she will like me for making a fool of myself.

Reply 14

TheConfuddledOne

10

kookie_4

is it still normal to be this shy at 18 though?

Im 18 as well and im shy like you with the ladies. As someone mentioned earlier (sorry forgot the name) that gig was a pretty good chance to start talking...but there will be other times. Next time you get the chance to, try and start up a conversation that you both have an interest in, and then just move it on from there i guess. Just try and build yourself up in confidence through these conversations and then ask her out.

Reply 15

Zafda

8

Anonymous

Really?

I was in the same position as the OP but managed to pluck up the courage to ask the girl for her number. I did it in the most awkward and embarrassing way and surprise, she said "no!". Needless to say I feel like a fool, even moreso because I have to work with this girl because we are colleagues. I'll have to laugh it off, and act like me asking her for her number, and her saying "no" was not a big deal, even though it has bothered me much. But I doubt she will like me for making a fool of myself.

oh.
i think your fool scenario went the wrong way round.
i really don't know. my mans a fool, he really is.. he does stupid things but maybe i like that in him.

Reply 16

Captain Haddock

18

Good conversations during gigs are nearly impossible anyway

Reply 17

DarkLight18

Yeah I just thought I would add that Ive seen the subways and they rock (well not rock, but there pretty good), I hope that helps :p:

Reply 18

joker_900

12

Dude just take a deep breath and talk 2 her. Sound confident and relaxed even if ur not, and if ur scared just think of all the things uve done that are scarier than just talking 2 a girl. Don't think what ur gonna say other than "hey". U should find that the conversation just rolls. Try not 2 sound nervous or geeky - by funny and cocky.

Reply 19

rawls87

Im 19 and was in the same boat to you, a female friend who i liked and i was the same, i did nothing :frown:

Which i sort of regret now, but im pretty sure she didnt like me in that way. You however know that she thinks ur attractive. Use that as a base to boost ur confidence and just go for it. If you dont, u may regret it for a very long time....

Good luck!!

finding it hard talking to girls

Related discussions

Articles for you