jealous boyfriend

hi. iv been with my fiance now for 8 months, and everythings been really good.

Since we got together hes always gone on about how difficult uni will be and how i will meet new people and all this - but i have told him THOUSANDS of times that i aint going to go off with some uni bloke and that its him that im with and no1 else.

I was out with him yesterday and he kept harping on about how cool his course is at his university and basically slagging mine off and moaning about me going into halls and how hes never going to see me. Then he started talking about 'why did we even bother getting together if your going to move to uni' which is totally stupid and unreasonable as im going to manchester and hes at liverpool! Im moving into uni halls tomorrow, and he keeps ringing me trying to get me to move in on sunday instead for 'convenience' because im at a wedding reception on friday and im staying at his house overnight.

I really dont know how to appease him, he says all these things about uni and bringing me down and later on rings me saying that its all a front because hes actually jealous cos i got good grades and get to go manchester! hes got it in his head im guna leave him and sleep with every guy i see, but the truth is i got engaged to him for a reason and he just cant get his head around it.

grrrr please any advice on how to get through to him or why hes doing it? :frown:

Reply 1

username47781

20

Well there's a few problems here for sure, he needs to realise you chose him because you like him, this sort of jealous drives relationships apart.

Reply 2

Captain Haddock

18

cant blame him for being somewhat worried. Not many relationships survive when moving onto uni is involved.

Reply 3

ChemistBoy

16

You haven't been in this relationship for very long (regardless of whether you are engaged or not) and it doesn't sound like you are secure enough yet or really, really know each other properly yet either. Spending time apart will be difficult for your relationship at this stage (so your boyfriend is right) and you will have to work hard to make it work. There is very little you can do if your boyfriend has a doomsday scenario firmly stuck in his head. My advice is to see how things go over the next few months.

Reply 4

username47781

20

I think this is also the problem with rushing to get engaged especially when uni is coming up, not saying you'd cheat on him, i would thought get to know him a little more before becoming more committed.

Reply 5

Absinthe

1

First off: hello fellow Whitworth resident. :smile:

Secondly: I really don't have much advice to offer about jealous partners - they're the ones who have the problem more often than not (particularly if you or a previous partner of theirs has never done anything to make them particularly insecure). All you can do is show him that you love him and are faithful to him. At the same time, don't be expected to give up loads of your freedoms, such as having male friends, if they're completely innocent and not dishonest or detrimental to your relationship.

If he REALLY gets your goat and you just can't make him trust you (or if he continues to make uncalled for, hurtful remarks), then it may be time to reconsider.

I don't see how you'd have a problem seeing him whilst you're at uni, however, given your respective locations. So I wish you luck, hopefully it'll work out for the best in the end! :biggrin:

Reply 6

egg_soup

OP

9

I've never done anything to make him doubt me (although that cant be said for him) but we had been best mates for 2 years before getting together so i do know him an awful lot. i just think that hes abit insecure.

Reply 7

Talya

16

You can't change him, he'll always think these things when you're apart. Take a break or something.

(And why are you engaged, you clearly have relationship issues that need resolving)

jealous boyfriend

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