Struggling to make friends

Hello,

I'm two weeks into university at LJMU and I'm starting to get a bit down about not being able to make mates. Without being big-headed, I've got loads of mates at home and I'm out every weekend with them, I love socialising through football, nights out and I'm a really outgoing person; usually. But it feels like I'm turning into the totally opposite, all this week I've sat in my room and been on my laptop, something I really wasn't expecting to be doing at university so early and during freshers.

I only have 2 flatmates, and they both have quite a few mates in other flats at our accommodation, so I'm often found on my own in the flat which is really quite lonely (again something I've never really felt before and didn't expect to feel at uni).

I started my course this week and although I've sat with people and had conversation, I've not really managed to hit it off proper with anyone. I love my course, but its really worrying for me that I'm having doubts about whether I want to stay at uni when I was so keen to come just a few weeks ago.
I'm not asking for miracle answers to make friends, I just wondered if anyone else was/is in the same position as me and has any advice?

Thanks in advance :smile:

Reply 1

Coxy124

When they go off to there other friends why dont you try and tag along mate. Im off to Edge Hill Uni on Sunday so will be close by, if your still lonely drop me a private message.

Reply 2

RiOt GrrrL

Original post by lewiscufc

Exactly. One question: did you grow up with all these buddies you have, like know them from the area and went to school together and stuff? Or known them for a good few years, like since you were kids/teenagers? I ask because, if you grow up around the same people or in a small town of course you don't really...well...know yourself, mate :s-smilie:

Because you've been in the same environment and socialised with the same people. In a more robust, heterogenous environment, you are constantly forced to re-adapt to what's going on around you and always have to flex those social muscles and pick up on something new to keep up. You'll find yourself eventually...I hope. But get off that laptop and the guy above me is right, tag along and see what happens :h:

Reply 3

lewiscufc

Cheers for the advice you two! Think I've never really had to make new friends so it's different yeah.

Reply 4

mhassan

Get a ps3/4 and a decent sized tv, problem solved. Buy few multiplayer games like fifa. I have fifa tournaments with mates every night.

Reply 5

lewiscufc

I like that idea, cheers!

Reply 6

Doom_Cult

I struggled immensely with that in my first year at LJMU but I didn't have the right mindset at all. I ended up switching courses and redoing first year, and then I managed to make a lot of friends. What I'm saying is that you can't be defeated already, power through and you WILL find someone you get on with. If you like going to gigs, go to some local ones and you'll probably make friends. Join societies and sports teams if that's what you like. Striking up conversation with someone at an event of mutual interest usually works! Just don't make the mistake I did and waste your time away. It will get better :smile:

Reply 7

jonathanemptage

Try the ski/snowboard society if they have one I never met an unfriendly skier yet (I am one).

Reply 8

shawn_o1

This "not having friends" problem became less and less of a problem for me. I only needed to focus on my work, and that got me through two years of uni unharmed.