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Boyfriend hassling me for sex 24/7 watch

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    (Original post by Sena5)
    That depends on the situation.
    ye and in this situation the BF and GF want different things.......... so they need to talk about it and figure out a solution to keep both of them happy. Thats how it usually goes lol.
    • #2
    #2

    The thing is, and this might be a bit controversial - it's not always about what the woman wants. I get why people might be saying that if her loves her then he'll listen to her point of view and not ask for sex so often, but what about his point of view...?

    I used to be in a similar position to the OP in the sense that I could quite happily go a few days without sex whereas my partner wanted it much, much more often. He explained to me that after a while of being turned down regularly it started to affect his confidence and he felt like maybe I wasn't as attracted to him anymore, which wasn't the case at all - he also said that he felt a bit dejected about having to be the person to initiate sex 99% of the time. We talked about it, and I decided to try to make more of an effort. I didn't want my partner to feel like I didn't want him anymore and sex has all kinds of benefits, so I figured it's worth it, even if I'm tired etc.

    We still don't have sex every day (or at least not often) and if I'm really not in the mood one night then he'll drop the idea, but nowadays we try to keep each other as happy as possible in the bedroom.

    I get that it can be a bit tiring if your partner has a higher drive than you, but I really believe that sex is an important part of a relationship. If your needs are just too different and neither of you could consider compromising, then you've got a big problem there, no matter how the other aspects of the relationship are faring.
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    I feel sorry for your partner.
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    (Original post by ChickenMadness)
    ye and in this situation the BF and GF want different things.......... so they need to talk about it and figure out a solution to keep both of them happy. Thats how it usually goes lol.
    I did agree with that point in previous posts. The OP has to allocate time to speak with her BF..but she's anxious that he always ask for sex and presently she cannot..when she goes to speak to bf and if she is attempted to have sex then...:eek:
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    (Original post by Sena5)
    I did agree with that point in previous posts. The OP has to allocate time to speak with her BF..but she's anxious that he always ask for sex and presently she cannot..when she goes to speak to bf and if dhe is attempted to have sex then...:eek:
    then she would have been raped lmao. Doubt she'd still be with him if he was a rapist.
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    Mmmmm. ..sex freaks!!! I love it go for it ..It will resolve your stresses
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    This can be resolved easily, it's not like you only want it once a week and he wants it five times a day. He wants it 1-2 times a day and you want it once every 2-3 days. So once a day would seem to be the compromise here. You will have to talk to him frankly about it. If tiredness from the kid is really an issue, try to ensure you've divided up the family workload (including your job(s)) as equitably as possible.

    Also if your vagina is getting sore that's an indication that you're not getting wet enough, which is another problem to discuss. I'd have thought a properly lubricated vagina could handle sex once a day without soreness. You might benefit from extra lube if it's a physiological thing, or more attentive foreplay if it's a psychological thing. Also, wet or not, if you don't really want sex and are just thinking of England, you will tend to clench your vagina and that's going to cause him to push harder, you get sore, you then expect soreness after sex and so clench, thus a vicious cycle of soreness.

    I think the main thing with problems in the bedroom is to get it all out there in full in one go, implement fixes and then try not to have to mention it again. Because fretting about whether you're doing the right thing by your partner is a recipe for unsatisfying sex in my experience.
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    How old are you both?
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    tell your vagina to man up
    • #3
    #3

    (Original post by scrotgrot)
    This can be resolved easily, it's not like you only want it once a week and he wants it five times a day. He wants it 1-2 times a day and you want it once every 2-3 days. So once a day would seem to be the compromise here. You will have to talk to him frankly about it. If tiredness from the kid is really an issue, try to ensure you've divided up the family workload (including your job(s)) as equitably as possible.

    Also if your vagina is getting sore that's an indication that you're not getting wet enough, which is another problem to discuss. I'd have thought a properly lubricated vagina could handle sex once a day without soreness. You might benefit from extra lube if it's a physiological thing, or more attentive foreplay if it's a psychological thing. Also, wet or not, if you don't really want sex and are just thinking of England, you will tend to clench your vagina and that's going to cause him to push harder, you get sore, you then expect soreness after sex and so clench, thus a vicious cycle of soreness.

    I think the main thing with problems in the bedroom is to get it all out there in full in one go, implement fixes and then try not to have to mention it again. Because fretting about whether you're doing the right thing by your partner is a recipe for unsatisfying sex in my experience.
    You'd be wrong in some cases, I LOVE sex and I have a very high sex drive and I'm always very well lubricated down there and sometimes will even use extra lube but even with that if I have sex more than once every other day it gets very sore and painful, I've been to the gynaecologist there is nothing physically wrong down there other than they fact I am just slightly tighter than average and there is nothing psychologically wrong as I am almost always raring to go and in the mood for sex.

    If her boyfriend can't get over the fact she is in PAIN then he is an absolute knob to be honest.
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    I'd get so bored with that, but if you "love him in every other way", then maybe a compromise is in order, yeah? How about 4-5 / week and the rest of the time he masturbates ? Perhaps you can ask your GP for some stimulants or sth... (awkward conversation :lol: ) Glad I could help.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    You'd be wrong in some cases, I LOVE sex and I have a very high sex drive and I'm always very well lubricated down there and sometimes will even use extra lube but even with that if I have sex more than once every other day it gets very sore and painful, I've been to the gynaecologist there is nothing physically wrong down there other than they fact I am just slightly tighter than average and there is nothing psychologically wrong as I am almost always raring to go and in the mood for sex.

    If her boyfriend can't get over the fact she is in PAIN then he is an absolute knob to be honest.
    I stand corrected, though, your experience aside, I still wouldn't have thought once a day would be a problem for most girls. I don't think your last sentence follows at all. If there were no fix for the pain, as in your case, then yes, abstention is the only option, ergo he would be a knob to insist on once a day, however, if this is a lubrication issue, increasing lubrication is an option which would preserve the possibility of a once-a-day compromise.
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    It's weird he feels he has to pester you to the point of waving his **** about at you... :/ it seems a bit immature but hey.

    It seems like you never initiate? Maybe if you initiated at times when you want to do it then he wouldn't feel the need to pester you? Even if you don't feel like doing it 100% just try and make the effort and once you're doing it you'll enjoy it anyway.

    I sympathise with the soreness. My boyfriend sometimes wants to do it 2 or 3 times in the same day.. Never gonna happen! Ouch!
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    Like other people have said, OP needs to talk with her partner. If she doesn't want to have sex, but she feels like she has to because her bf is pestering her, she's not going to enjoy it...sex is supposed to be enjoyable!!

    On the other hand, he needs to feel satisfied in the relationship. This is why they should talk and comprise.


    Honestly, if my bf waved his **** at me and kept insisting while I was trying to get s**t done, it would put me off even more.

    Also, people have different sex drives...get over it! Just because you want to have sex 3 times a day doesn't mean you should bash OP for wanting to have sex 3 times a week.
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    "Gets his thing out waving it at me" achfbjfnkgfvntdcbbnhf
    • #1
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    #1

    The thing is it's 4 years into the relationship it's not like we have been going out for 5 minutes we first got together when there was a lot of sex it only started becoming less frequent when I got pregnant and had the baby, (understandable) the thing with my vagina I have scar tissue on my perineum so it's gotten tighter as scar tissue isnt as flexible so unfortunately I can't just "man up", he never offers to get me off first if you know what i mean like he used to kiss me etc now it's all wanna shag? I do initiate sex like I jumped him on saturday night and he started hassling me in the morning, when I was really tired while the baby was crying to get up, I think he gets annoyed that the baby always comes first to be honest.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    The thing is it's 4 years into the relationship it's not like we have been going out for 5 minutes we first got together when there was a lot of sex it only started becoming less frequent when I got pregnant and had the baby, (understandable) the thing with my vagina I have scar tissue on my perineum so it's gotten tighter as scar tissue isnt as flexible so unfortunately I can't just "man up", he never offers to get me off first if you know what i mean like he used to kiss me etc now it's all wanna shag? I do initiate sex like I jumped him on saturday night and he started hassling me in the morning, when I was really tired while the baby was crying to get up, I think he gets annoyed that the baby always comes first to be honest.
    I'm not sure this is the best place to ask to be honest, because very few of us have kids, and it sounds like that is a crucial part of this. Try mumsnet or something?
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    (Original post by ChickenMadness)
    then she would have been raped lmao. Doubt she'd still be with him if he was a rapist.
    he loves her as well but at the present situation he couldn't resist himself..but he is as he never raped her..he loves her true:yep:
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    Been there before with my ex girlfriend of a year and a half. We'd only see each other about once every 2 weeks on average, and we'd probably only have sex ONCE. There was about 6 months near the beginning of our relationship where it just started hurting her constantly whenever we tried, so the sex was even less frequent.

    I'd be lying if I said our sexual incompatibility wasn't a big part of why we split up in the end.
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    (Original post by Nidhogg_Rider)
    Been there before with my ex girlfriend of a year and a half. We'd only see each other about once every 2 weeks on average, and we'd probably only have sex ONCE. There was about 6 months near the beginning of our relationship where it just started hurting her constantly whenever we tried, so the sex was even less frequent.

    I'd be lying if I said our sexual incompatibility wasn't a big part of why we split up in the end.
    I actually initiated and jumped him last night, and he didnt pester me this morning think it maybe he was getting upset that i didnt initiate sex We used to see each other every 2 weeks and jump each others bones we once did it 8 times in one day, and he snapped his banjo :/ alas thats when we were first dating now he's always around the sexual allure is gone, but when I go out with friends or go on trips I do miss him and get hot for him again,
 
 
 
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