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Boyfriend wants me to lose weight watch

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    You should lose weight and thank him for caring enough to be honest with you. :yy:
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    (Original post by laurenkl)
    Dump him, he should be dating you for you. There are better people out there who deserve you more I'm sure.
    This is such BS. Partners are constantly asking for change. Let alone if she actually asked for his opinion (and sounds like she bugged as well). If you're overweight, you're unhealthy. A partner asking you to be more healthy is good IMO.

    So if you go out with someone & they eat and eat constantly, really bad food, get fat, get lazy, etc. You should always love them because of their 'inside beauty'? LOL
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    (Original post by miser)
    Provided you're in a position where losing weight would be healthy, my advice would be to lose weight. You'll be happier and feel more attractive again.

    But whether you choose to or not, I think you should be glad you have a boyfriend who will tell you the truth, even when he knows it might be hard to say or to hear.


    I agree with this. "White lies" like these just cover up deeper problems by encouraging miscommunication.
    Basically... This really. The op asked dher boyfriend what he honestly thinks and he still loves her but he would prefer if she lost a little bit of weight

    It seems like the OPs boyfriend tried to make it clear that he still loves her, but she could perhaps slim down a little bit. If the ops boyfriend is also on the chubby side they could go to the gym together(?)

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    I'm sitting on the fence some, in that I'm not going to say: 'JUST LOSE WEIGHT' ('cause I know, from experience, it's sometimes easier said than done) and I'm also not going to say: 'OMGZ - what a pig', since you asked and were told, accordingly!

    I was about 4st heavier when I met my boyfriend and, like yours, though he has always called me beautiful, he encouraged me to lose weight and make a better life for myself (and us, therein). I lost the weight, he still calls me beautiful, only with the added compliment that he's 'proud of all my hard work'. So, if it's safe for you to do so, I'd advise you to try and lose the weight too. :grin:
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I recently asked my boyfriend to be honest with me with how he feels about me. He told me that he would quite like me to change meaning to lose weight but yet still says I am beautiful, I know I asked him to be honest but it's quite upsetting hearing that he isn't happy with how I look, what should I do?
    Your boyfriend should appreciate what you currently have. If he isn't 'satisfied' with that, then he's probably not worth it. You shouldn't have to live for others' standards and trying to impress others. Live for yourself, not for anyone else.
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    You do what you want to. If you want to loose weight you should do it for no boyfriend. Boyfriends come and go your Heath and well-being doesn't.
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    (Original post by pickup)
    Well, we're talking personal relationships here not a class in seeking out the truth in a philosophy seminar.

    Example - you are asking your girlfriend whether she honestly thinks you could apply for this managerial job.

    She replies well no, I've always thought that though I think you're cute you haven't got the gravitas necessary. Are you pleased?

    Example 2 - you are asking your girlfriend whether she honestly thinks you could go on .... course, she replies well, no,I've always thought you were pretty thick but I love you just the same. Are you pleased?

    Example 3 - you are asking your girl friend whether she honestly thinks you are better looking than ........She replies well no, he's fantastic, you're pretty ugly, but I love you anyway. Are you pleased?

    The answer is no you're not pleased because though you didn't specifically say so ( indeed you asked for an honest answer) what you want is for your girl friend to boost your self confidence at this particular moment, You can do the self questioning, self doubt, self deprecating bit yourself.

    I think it's called telling a white lie.

    Brutally honest relationships don't last long.( The operative word is ' brutally',)
    Example one, no, because she's been needlessly patronising. If she said "I don't think you're quite ready, if you get a bit more experience you'll be ready for the job" I'd accept that.

    Example two, no, but again, because of how she's said it. It's rude to call anyone "pretty thick", let alone your partner, I really need to explain that to you?

    Example three, again, no. She should should have stopped halfway through, same reason.

    It depends how I asked it. If I emphasised the "honestly", I would want to be told if the course wasn't right for me.

    But no one is saying be brutally honest, you're adding the brutal bit. I'm saying be tactfully honest, which it sounds like this guy was. If he said "yes, you need to lose weight, I really don't like looking at your fat arse", then he's a ****. If he said "Honestly? Well I think maybe you could get a bit healthier, like a lot of us, but don't worry, I still think you're beautiful" then he's answered reasonably.
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    Take it on board and consider how you feel about your weight. The fact that you asked him suggests youre not happy so use this as motivation to change it.

    Yes its always upsetting to hear your partner would 'prefer' you slightly different but remember he hasnt said he finds you unattractive. Hes just honestly stated a preference as you asked him to do.
    I love my partner more than the world and find him incredibly attractive. But I recognise hes not in peak condition, and yes id love it if he decided to get fit. For his health, his state of mind and because a toned body is always an attractive one.
    Thats an adult reaction. Pretending everything is perfect all the time is a childish one. If you and he are serious amd he gave you the honesty you requested you should receive it in the way it was meant - with respect and honesty and almost certainly love.

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    (Original post by userna-me*)
    Lose weight.
    If she's under 11 st she's fine. Over...then...
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    (Original post by Fashion Girl)
    You should lose weight and thank him for caring enough to be honest with you. :yy:
    lmao
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    (Original post by Da Di Doo)
    Gain more to piss him off
    I think when she can't walk because her knees have given in from her overwhelming corpulence, she'll be the only one pissed off :nothing:
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I recently asked my boyfriend to be honest with me with how he feels about me. He told me that he would quite like me to change meaning to lose weight but yet still says I am beautiful, I know I asked him to be honest but it's quite upsetting hearing that he isn't happy with how I look, what should I do?
    FFs OP, ok how much are ya? 15 st or something? And then like...if you waddle when you walk he's got a point. If when you put a belt on it looks like you have several stomachs, he's got a point. If you eat more than you talk or kiss him, he's got a point. If neither of those, tell him to **** off lol
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    Tbh. It depends on what weight you are and what weight you used to be when you met him.
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    (Original post by laurenkl)
    That's true, and yeah it's better to be honest. But imo OP would be better off finding someone else than going down the problematic and unhappy road of dieting.
    ????

    That's a pretty shaky view you have of love, if going on a diet is so much like hard work that you'd rather just break up with your boyfriend, it's not really much of a relationship is it?
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    (Original post by DorianGrayism)
    Tbh. It depends on what weight you are and what weight you used to be when you met him.
    Nah. Sometimes men hook line and sinker a female, and then when she's "all his" just wake up one day next to Miriam Margolyes wanting Kim Kardashian :nothing:
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    Well you asked for him to be honest and that's exactly what he did. So I don't see the problem. Obviously everyone has a preference, and he prefers you to be slimmer, there's nothing wrong with that.

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    (Original post by RiOt GrrrL)
    lmao
    Oh I cannot see the humour here! :lolwut:
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    Do you feel good with your body currently? When you wear a dress or jeans do you feel good or slightly uncomfortable ? It all depends on how you feel !! To be frank if you love your body and feel confident with yourself you shouldn't listen to anyone else even if you asked for the opinion and it's just his "opinion" so it doesn't even matter anyway because you are you and being worried or trying to be upto someone else's standards in the long run will destroy you.

    Love yourself and do not give anybody the feeling that you need their approval or thought on your body and lifestyle simple!!!!!!
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    (Original post by pickup)
    Example - you are asking your girlfriend whether she honestly thinks you could apply for this managerial job.

    She replies well no, I've always thought that though I think you're cute you haven't got the gravitas necessary. Are you pleased?

    Example 2 - you are asking your girlfriend whether she honestly thinks you could go on .... course, she replies well, no,I've always thought you were pretty thick but I love you just the same. Are you pleased?

    Example 3 - you are asking your girl friend whether she honestly thinks you are better looking than ........She replies well no, he's fantastic, you're pretty ugly, but I love you anyway. Are you pleased?

    The answer is no you're not pleased because though you didn't specifically say so ( indeed you asked for an honest answer) what you want is for your girl friend to boost your self confidence at this particular moment, You can do the self questioning, self doubt, self deprecating bit yourself.
    I'd disagree with this, personally. I wouldn't be pleased if she told me those things, but I wouldn't be displeased with her (though the examples you've provided are a bit exaggerated, there's a way to present bad news without being rude about it). I'd be displeased with myself for not being good enough to get the job, or intelligent. I might be displeased with the world in general, for giving me ugly genes.

    If I'm asking for an honest answer, I want an honest answer. I'd be pleased with her for providing it, because I think that sort of honesty is actually a rare, useful, and valuable thing. If someone's probably lying to me to spare my feelings, I wouldn't consider that to be much of a confidence boost anyway.
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    The fact that you asked him, in my opinion, shows that you aren't really happy with how you look. You asked him to be honest so I don't really know why you're complaining when you probably already knew the truth. Its not like he randomly came out and said "you need to lose weight". If I were you I'd lose the weight with the support of the bf
 
 
 
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