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Overwhelmed at University watch

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    I arrived at uni yesterday morning and had a good day meeting some girls on my flat (I'm in a flat with 20 people). I'm really shy so the fact that I came out my bedroom, knocked on a door and then met people is a huge achievement and everything was going better than I could have ever imagined. However, once the alcohol starting coming out I started feeling very overwhelmed. People from other flats were joining us in our kitchen and it was busy and I just felt very out of place as conversations would start up in little groups and I just kind of sat on the sidelines.

    There are some really huge personalities (quite a lot of Gap Yah students) and I can tell that they find me boring as I'm shy, they ignore me and everyone on my corridor is one of these confident people.

    Today I went for lunch with a small group of people from my flat and I find it difficult to relate to them and therefore can't contribute much to the conversation. I just laugh or make comments like 'oh haha', 'yeah', 'oh cool', etc. I must come across so boring but as someone who is from a sheltered and poor background it's hard to relate to tales of gap years, holidays abroad, etc.

    Tonight everyone is going clubbing but I decided to go home for the night as I felt very depressed earlier. I know everyone will say I should have stuck it out but I've had depression before from a similar situation (feeling lonely at college despite being able to return to the comfort of my family home every evening) and I don't want to slip into that again as it's terrifying.

    I've never been clubbing and it's not me. I'm not opposed to drinking alcohol (and did do shots of vodka last night) but I just hate the whole lifestyle revolved around it, it all seems quite sleazy and dirty to me as I've only become exposed to alcohol since turning 18 as none of my family drink at all). Most conversations revolve around how fun clubbing/predrinks will be and I just feel secluded because I can't relate as I don't find it fun. Standing in a kitchen with loud dubstep playing whilst there are awkward silences and small talk is just not fun.

    Does anyone have a fresh perspective for me as I'm feeling very low right now. I technically don't need to go back to uni tomorrow as there's not any events on until Wednesday so I'm tempted to stay home until then but I feel that every second away from flatmates they'll get more distant from me.

    Some may say just go to uni but don't go clubbing but the whole flat has been talking rudely about a girl in our flat who doesn't drink and therefore goes in her room in the evenings. I've also overheard a guy talking rudely about me for going to uni so close to home (15 miles) saying "what's the point of her even coming here"...
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    I'm overwhelmed at university and I already have 2 degrees. Am about to start another degree (masters). Its difficult but its life. Concentrate on the here and now and live in the present.
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    (Original post by Sparkliest)
    I arrived at uni yesterday morning
    Well, what do you actually like doing / what are you good at?
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    (Original post by sunnydespair)
    I'm overwhelmed at university and I already have 2 degrees. Am about to start another degree (masters). Its difficult but its life. Concentrate on the here and now and live in the present.
    Awww that's great advice. . soo sweet

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    (Original post by lozasaurus99)
    Awww that's great advice. . soo sweet

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    Thanks ! That's the point of life, to enjoy each and every moment by being absorbed in whatever you are doing in that moment
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    Hang on in there Seriously, the first few weeks are really stressful and you always worry about making friends and getting on with the people on your corridor/ flat - but you'll soon settle in and find people more like you

    I don't drink, enjoy partying, or have any exciting stories to tell - and so I didn't really make many good friends along my corridor as we didn't have a lot in common. However, I signed up to several societies and these were a really great way to meet people with similar interests Sports societies and even the slightly weirder ones (e.g. 'ice cream society'!) are generally very sociable.
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    stick with it. things will get better as long as you keep trying to socialise. It doesn't matter if you're quiet, as long as you show your face, try to enjoy yourself, and are friendly when you do speak.

    Keep being friendly and people will soon get bored of the gap yah ***** and their boring stories and will choose to hang out with you instead.

    Its a fact of life that sometimes we have to work at things and do things that are not that "fun". You have to invest effort in your socialising as much as you have to work at your degree.
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    (Original post by Sparkliest)
    I arrived at uni yesterday morning and had a good day meeting some girls on my flat (I'm in a flat with 20 people). I'm really shy so the fact that I came out my bedroom, knocked on a door and then met people is a huge achievement and everything was going better than I could have ever imagined. However, once the alcohol starting coming out I started feeling very overwhelmed. People from other flats were joining us in our kitchen and it was busy and I just felt very out of place as conversations would start up in little groups and I just kind of sat on the sidelines.

    There are some really huge personalities (quite a lot of Gap Yah students) and I can tell that they find me boring as I'm shy, they ignore me and everyone on my corridor is one of these confident people.

    Today I went for lunch with a small group of people from my flat and I find it difficult to relate to them and therefore can't contribute much to the conversation. I just laugh or make comments like 'oh haha', 'yeah', 'oh cool', etc. I must come across so boring but as someone who is from a sheltered and poor background it's hard to relate to tales of gap years, holidays abroad, etc.

    Tonight everyone is going clubbing but I decided to go home for the night as I felt very depressed earlier. I know everyone will say I should have stuck it out but I've had depression before from a similar situation (feeling lonely at college despite being able to return to the comfort of my family home every evening) and I don't want to slip into that again as it's terrifying.

    I've never been clubbing and it's not me. I'm not opposed to drinking alcohol (and did do shots of vodka last night) but I just hate the whole lifestyle revolved around it, it all seems quite sleazy and dirty to me as I've only become exposed to alcohol since turning 18 as none of my family drink at all). Most conversations revolve around how fun clubbing/predrinks will be and I just feel secluded because I can't relate as I don't find it fun. Standing in a kitchen with loud dubstep playing whilst there are awkward silences and small talk is just not fun.

    Does anyone have a fresh perspective for me as I'm feeling very low right now. I technically don't need to go back to uni tomorrow as there's not any events on until Wednesday so I'm tempted to stay home until then but I feel that every second away from flatmates they'll get more distant from me.

    Some may say just go to uni but don't go clubbing but the whole flat has been talking rudely about a girl in our flat who doesn't drink and therefore goes in her room in the evenings. I've also overheard a guy talking rudely about me for going to uni so close to home (15 miles) saying "what's the point of her even coming here"...
    Sod clubbing
    Hit up with me, I will take you on a romantic evening, watching the sun set, hand in hand.
    Then we will cook something up with our love and enjoy it together, snuggled close and bathing in each others warmth. <3
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    Pretty much what the others have said aswell. Freshers for me was just a whirlwind of people constantly. Would have people walk up to me in the street months down the line knowing my name but I didn't even recognise. People I thought I would be best mates with at first were forgotten a few months down the line. It's just how it is. It will settle down though, you'll get to know people from your course or join a society or 2 in something that does interest you and you will meet people who you click with better. Freshers = alcohol and lots and lots of forgotten names + and "where you from" "what course you do" "what A-levels did you do" blahblah.

    Don't worry about it too much. Just try to have fun, stop thinking so much when you're around people (I know it's hard). Smile if people talk to you. Ask them the typical questions like place/A-levels/Course (most other people are asking that sorta stuff because they are nervous or don't know what to say aswell!) If you can handle your alcohol it might help you loosen up a little. Don't worry about everyone else and just be strong.
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    I'd literally tear a cats face off with my teeth right now to be beginning uni again.... So many things i'd do differently.... Though overall it was a hell of an experience.... The world is literally your oyster. Especially in 1st year. Go out and express yourself, you will naturally develop so don't worry, you have a clean page, adapt to your new environment like a jungle cat adapts to the jungle, YOLO bro.
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    (Original post by Sparkliest)
    I arrived at uni yesterday morning and had a good day meeting some girls on my flat (I'm in a flat with 20 people). I'm really shy so the fact that I came out my bedroom, knocked on a door and then met people is a huge achievement and everything was going better than I could have ever imagined. However, once the alcohol starting coming out I started feeling very overwhelmed. People from other flats were joining us in our kitchen and it was busy and I just felt very out of place as conversations would start up in little groups and I just kind of sat on the sidelines.

    There are some really huge personalities (quite a lot of Gap Yah students) and I can tell that they find me boring as I'm shy, they ignore me and everyone on my corridor is one of these confident people.

    Today I went for lunch with a small group of people from my flat and I find it difficult to relate to them and therefore can't contribute much to the conversation. I just laugh or make comments like 'oh haha', 'yeah', 'oh cool', etc. I must come across so boring but as someone who is from a sheltered and poor background it's hard to relate to tales of gap years, holidays abroad, etc.

    Tonight everyone is going clubbing but I decided to go home for the night as I felt very depressed earlier. I know everyone will say I should have stuck it out but I've had depression before from a similar situation (feeling lonely at college despite being able to return to the comfort of my family home every evening) and I don't want to slip into that again as it's terrifying.

    I've never been clubbing and it's not me. I'm not opposed to drinking alcohol (and did do shots of vodka last night) but I just hate the whole lifestyle revolved around it, it all seems quite sleazy and dirty to me as I've only become exposed to alcohol since turning 18 as none of my family drink at all). Most conversations revolve around how fun clubbing/predrinks will be and I just feel secluded because I can't relate as I don't find it fun. Standing in a kitchen with loud dubstep playing whilst there are awkward silences and small talk is just not fun.

    Does anyone have a fresh perspective for me as I'm feeling very low right now. I technically don't need to go back to uni tomorrow as there's not any events on until Wednesday so I'm tempted to stay home until then but I feel that every second away from flatmates they'll get more distant from me.

    Some may say just go to uni but don't go clubbing but the whole flat has been talking rudely about a girl in our flat who doesn't drink and therefore goes in her room in the evenings. I've also overheard a guy talking rudely about me for going to uni so close to home (15 miles) saying "what's the point of her even coming here"...
    First of all, that last comment is a tad silly, as a commute might not be worth it and they wouldn't know the underlying circumstances. So ignore that really, where people live and how they commute it their own business. Advice is welcome, but not insults.

    Secondly, you'll come to realise that with the possible number of societies to join, you'll begin to fit into what you enjoy, even if they may have their own social now and again to get everyone together. But I definitely recommend joining 1 society at least and getting involved with that (If you can make the time for it with uni work alongside)

    Finally, having stories to tell comes with experience and circumstances. Sometimes being the listener is just as important without making up things just to fill the gaps. So don't feel the need to be talkative just for the sake of it.

    In addition, wait for the first lecture and where you feel like sitting as that'll usually get you to meet more people by just saying hi to the person next to you
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    (Original post by yoshimaidaz)
    sod clubbing
    hit up with me, i will take you on a romantic evening, watching the sun set, hand in hand.
    Then we will cook something up with our love and enjoy it together, snuggled close and bathing in each others warmth. <3
    hahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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    (Original post by Joshs415)
    hahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    he's not being serious.

    Anyway, OP chose to stay in a flat because she wants to meet other people. She could easily have stayed at home and made the 15-mile commute every day if she knew she couldn't get along with her flatmates.
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    The curiosity always kills me in these threads, what uni is this OP? Plzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
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    (Original post by Joshs415)
    hahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    Oooh, I'm perfectly serious you know.
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    Go home if you aren't enjoying it. Study from home? Do OU degree? Get a job?
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    Oh God. Reading threads like these makes me feel awful and so sure that uni isn't for me:cry:
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    (Original post by Sparkliest)
    I've also overheard a guy talking rudely about me for going to uni so close to home (15 miles) saying "what's the point of her even coming here"...
    Hahah what a ridiculous thing to say, I live 10 miles away from the uni I'm going to and I would never live at home! You get a completely different lifestyle moving out and it's the standard thing to do, I wouldn't base my choice of uni on distance away from my house ha, ignore him.
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    (Original post by Maid Marian)
    Oh God. Reading threads like these makes me feel awful and so sure that uni isn't for me:cry:
    Are you going back to uni then?

    Just curious.



    Also I'm like OP. I enjoy having some drinks in a pub but can't stand clubbing. It really stresses me out, plus I don't like drinking to the point of feeling ill. Is there not any societies you could join? I went rock climbing in the uni's gym with someone on my course for something to do. There's also nothing wrong with just doing pre-drinks and then calling it a night if that is what you want.
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    (Original post by ChaoticButterfly)
    Are you going back to uni then?

    Just curious.



    Also I'm like OP. I enjoy having some drinks in a pub but can't stand clubbing. It really stresses me out, plus I don't like drinking to the point of feeling ill. Is there not any societies you could join? I went rock climbing in the uni's gym with someone on my course for something to do. There's also nothing wrong with just doing pre-drinks and then calling it a night if that is what you want.
    I have no idea at this stage :no:
 
 
 
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