I've ended up seeing two girls at one time and both think they are exclusive relationships. I got with girl Z from University twice last semester but not much was going on. Shes not all that pretty but has similar interests but shes a bit nuts, loads of baggage around being physical with guys and id probably take a lot of stick off of peers for going out with her, kept messaging her over summer but she stays a long way from me (10 hour drive) but didnt really imply anything was going to happen just said I liked her and stuff guess she said the same thing.
Then I started seeing girl A over summer, shes really attractive, stays near me, smart, funny, I always have a good time when im with her and she just seems logically better. Shes on a better track than the first girl. So I told girl Z I didnt want to see her anymore but just told her it was because of all the baggage over a text. I regretted that as although she was cool about it in her messages, I knew it tore into her pretty badly.
I felt guilty and was basically thinking, I felt so guilty because although she didnt seem like the smart choice that I did actually like her and wanted to be more than a friend. So I tried, stupidly to recover the situation based on the thinking that yeah girl A is the logical option but girl Z is the one i like because I wouldnt feel like this if I didnt. So without ending it with Girl A(intending to end it just hadnt) I told girl Z i wanted to be in a relationship with her in person and that Id being seeing this other girl and the whole thing to that point.
The next day I ended up at her flat but I couldnt even kiss her like there was nothing in it for me it just felt awkward but I ended up staying the night and just talking, shes pretty cool just to talk to but thats what you do with friends right not the girl youre meant to be seeing or in a relationship with so now I'm thinking I just felt really guilty rather than actually liking the girl because I know that because of her personal problems Id be knocking her back down a flight of steps in terms of trusting people she just climbed.
How can I end whatever with girl Z without doing some serious damage to her trusting guys or people in general. I think she shared a lot with me that she had only shared with her psychologist but I cant be with a girl that I cant get into the physical with and even when I did before she ended up in tears.
Neither girl knows one another.
I want to be with girl A, but I just dont know how to get to that point with out wrecking girl Z. After I get out of the Z situation do you think I tell girl A even though nothing happened with the other girl?
HELP IVE ****ED UP BADLY!
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- Thread Starter
- 23-09-2014 11:05
- 23-09-2014 14:15
When I was like 17 I was in a similar situation.. well I didn't have 2 guys on the go but I was chatting a guy who had an awesome personality but there was absolutely nothing in it in terms of attraction. We went on a date and he tried to kiss me and without thinking, I pulled away... I felt so guilty so the next day I tried to salvage it because my conscience told me I was really nasty, so I told him I wanted to be with him. Anyway for weeks I carried on as though I wanted to be with him when actually I found him really unattractive and did not want to kiss him at all. In the end I just had to be honest and say that I didn't see a future in it, I can't lead him on etc.
This might hurt her but avoid leading her on further and most importantly, learn from this in the future! If you don't find someone attractive don't try to create something that isn't there.
Plus at the end of the day, you've got to do what is right for you as well. You're clearly not happy so you need to say goodbye (nicely).
- Thread Starter
- 23-09-2014 14:44
Thank you, I agree, dragging it out makes it worse