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    Well i have been going out with my boyfriend for nearly 3 years now, but the problem seems to be he doesnt fancy being intimate anymore!!! Every time we do its always me thats insinuated it and some times he has said NO not tonight which is a big blow to my confidence!!! not too be bigheaded but I am a nice looking girl and i am usually confident its usually the guy wanting it in the relationship so this is making me feel insecure , am like does he not find me a attractive etc?? has he gone off me? we have not long moved in together so i feel like why we acting like we are 50 year old and not having sex sometimes i think its important in a relationship makes you feel close , had a massive argument about this at the weekend , he said i ask at the wrong times but i am so fed up of being the one going for it and getting rejected, i know he watches porn now and again but dont know why he wont come near me and i know hes not cheating because we live together and i know he wouldnt do that just dont know what to do help??
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    (Original post by missgossip123)
    Well i have been going out with my boyfriend for nearly 3 years now, but the problem seems to be he doesnt fancy being intimate anymore!!! Every time we do its always me thats insinuated it and some times he has said NO not tonight which is a big blow to my confidence!!! not too be bigheaded but I am a nice looking girl and i am usually confident its usually the guy wanting it in the relationship so this is making me feel insecure , am like does he not find me a attractive etc?? has he gone off me? we have not long moved in together so i feel like why we acting like we are 50 year old and not having sex sometimes i think its important in a relationship makes you feel close , had a massive argument about this at the weekend , he said i ask at the wrong times but i am so fed up of being the one going for it and getting rejected, i know he watches porn now and again but dont know why he wont come near me and i know hes not cheating because we live together and i know he wouldnt do that just dont know what to do help??
    Heres a thought, talk to him about it!

    I know right?!
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    Obviously not compatible. So dump and find someone who likes to hump all the time - most of us guys do like to
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    well i have spoke to him about it his reply- i am just not in the mood the now etc and then i feel its me all the time , maybe i should see how things go then bring it up again!
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    He's cheating on you with his right hand.
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    i know he is defo not cheating on me lol hes just not that kinda guy and i would find out trust me we always go out to friends parties together and he lives with me! am thinking has he maybe just got too comfortable and doesnt feel the need or something
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    Is he under a lot of stress at work or elsewhere? How frequent are the initiations and rejections? Have you already spoke to him about it?

    You've been going out for quite a while and it's just potentially part of how he responds to the relationship over time. Really, you should speak to him, ask him what's going on and work together to find an amicable solution. Perhaps look into trying out some new kinky stuff, dress up a little, etc. Sexual variety goes a long way to keeping things fresh over a long time.

    Frankly, you can't just use your credential of being an attractive woman to convince yourself that he should always want to have sex with you either. Relationships breed familiarity by nature and there's a chance either or both parties just get bored regardless of how attractive each other is. Basically, it's unlikely to be because of how you look so don't let it affect your confidence too much, you have to understand any other factors that might be going on first.
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    (Original post by Nidhogg_Rider)
    Is he under a lot of stress at work or elsewhere? How frequent are the initiations and rejections? Have you already spoke to him about it?

    You've been going out for quite a while and it's just potentially part of how he responds to the relationship over time. Really, you should speak to him, ask him what's going on and work together to find an amicable solution. Perhaps look into trying out some new kinky stuff, dress up a little, etc. Sexual variety goes a long way to keeping things fresh over a long time.

    Frankly, you can't just use your credential of being an attractive woman to convince yourself that he should always want to have sex with you either. Relationships breed familiarity by nature and there's a chance either or both parties just get bored regardless of how attractive each other is. Basically, it's unlikely to be because of how you look so don't let it affect your confidence too much, you have to understand any other factors that might be going on first.
    He hasnt got much stress at work like a big work load but hes just fed up of his work hes bored of it and trying to get a job something higher paid which he could be getting soon and is a bit nervous about it , I have tried a few times and he has said no not the now but it never happens later, I am just a bit fed up of trying to get a bit of romance in the relationship and feel i am getting nowhere, the relationship is fine in other aspects but it never used to be like this so I am only thinking to myself why does he not want to do it, he not like the idea of it anymore , is he bored??

    he loves me i can tell that but i cant help myself from thinking has he slightly gone off me horrible feeling or maybe I am worrying too much

    Thanks for a mature response all advise is helpful

    I have spoke to him but went in a bit of a huff when he said no not the now hes just like not the now later on and says he doesnt feel the need to all the time and now I am getting to the stage i am sick of trying now, only so much i can do haha
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    (Original post by missgossip123)
    He hasnt got much stress at work like a big work load but hes just fed up of his work hes bored of it and trying to get a job something higher paid which he could be getting soon and is a bit nervous about it , I have tried a few times and he has said no not the now but it never happens later, I am just a bit fed up of trying to get a bit of romance in the relationship and feel i am getting nowhere, the relationship is fine in other aspects but it never used to be like this so I am only thinking to myself why does he not want to do it, he not like the idea of it anymore , is he bored??

    he loves me i can tell that but i cant help myself from thinking has he slightly gone off me horrible feeling or maybe I am worrying too much

    Thanks for a mature response all advise is helpful

    I have spoke to him but went in a bit of a huff when he said no not the now hes just like not the now later on and says he doesnt feel the need to all the time and now I am getting to the stage i am sick of trying now, only so much i can do haha
    Well, job insecurity is still stress nonetheless, some people just don't deal with precarious futures very well. Only way you can find out if it's that or some other reason is to ask him directly and discuss a plan of action that can help solve it.

    I can understand that you might be frustrated that he's putting no effort in, but like I said, familiarity gets you comfortable, and some people just take that as an excuse to stop trying. You just have to address it and see where he stands in his sexual needs/desires and try to meet some kind of compromise so that you're both happy.

    I don't think it'll come down to him being bored of the you and the relationship though, he's happy to live with you and like you said, he still loves you. It's just natural for some people to approach the relationship differently over a long period of time, like how people get more comfortable with friends and interact with each other differently as times goes on.

    Communication is always the key!
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    (Original post by Nidhogg_Rider)
    Well, job insecurity is still stress nonetheless, some people just don't deal with precarious futures very well. Only way you can find out if it's that or some other reason is to ask him directly and discuss a plan of action that can help solve it.

    I can understand that you might be frustrated that he's putting no effort in, but like I said, familiarity gets you comfortable, and some people just take that as an excuse to stop trying. You just have to address it and see where he stands in his sexual needs/desires and try to meet some kind of compromise so that you're both happy.

    I don't think it'll come down to him being bored of the you and the relationship though, he's happy to live with you and like you said, he still loves you. It's just natural for some people to approach the relationship differently over a long period of time, like how people get more comfortable with friends and interact with each other differently as times goes on.

    Communication is always the key!
    Thanks I will try speaking to him again although he is a very awkward guy to talk to at times especially with this discussion :-s but hopefully he understands, I just feel hes not been trying hes away with his friends for the weekend for 3 days so might wait and see if he attempts to try anything before then think I am being more paranoid incase he likes any other girls and finds them attractive , I am becoming jealous and slightly paranoid over all this so I need to get it all out in the air but its hard to say all this and not sound needy, we have just moved in and we did argue a bit at first and he says he did find things awkward between us and so did i but thats all past now and this has happened i just feel like its not one thing its another but its worth a try before things really come to blows, before we moved in only seen each other at weekends really

    Thanks
 
 
 
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