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    So I've just finished freshers(I liked it ) and now I've started lectures and I'm not enjoy uni that much. My flatmates aren't horrible people I just don't feel like I fit in. There's a group of two boys and two girls and I seem like they will become very cliquey, I don't want to be IN the clique I just find it intimidating. I know I don't want to go out with them but you always here them together having fun and I don't want to join them as they are loud and kind of overlook me - I make a statement and nobody says anything. I'm only 17 so can't go out but even if I was 18 I don't want to go out drinking all the time and the I have heard one of the boys in the clique talk about pills and things and I HATE DRUGS! I talk to the quiet girls a lot because I like that they aren't pushy and don't go out a lot. I'm very much into staying in during the week, maybe going to see friends at night then having the occasional Saturday night out. I like pubs and a few drinks with a take-out and the rugby on. I just don't feel comfortable with so much partying and I'm scared I'll be judged for staying in my room or going home at weekends. During high school I became more confident, I was one of those people who got on with everyone and people saw me as nice. I'm just not sure if 'nice' is a big enough personality with all these out-going people who are always leading the conversation Hope this makes sense and someone has some good advice to help me feel less anxious about the whole situation.
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    I know exactly how you feel...which uni are you at?
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    (Original post by KirstieMaccc)
    Glasgow, you?
    Cardiff. I joined some societies today, so I'm hoping that I'll meet some friends there
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    If you're a nice guy, you have nothing to worry about. Freshers is not great for introverts but you'll meet people just like you soon. Stay positive.
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    Remember. The whole point of university is to get a degree. My best advice is to start off on the right foot. Remember the more work you do this term, the less you will have to do in 2015. So once you start lectures things will become good. You will be studying most days Monday to Friday. You will also be able to join societies and meet people. Glasgow is a beautiful city too. Also get everything organised with your room and stationary and food in the fridge so you don't have to worry about that stuff once you start studying.

    Just to let you know that I had anxiety and depression during the first two years of my degree. Looking back as a happier person, I wished I had kept my head down and studied harder, and also got more involved in societies as I ended up doing that in my third year and being much happier
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    (Original post by KirstieMaccc)
    During high school I became more confident, I was one of those people who got on with everyone and people saw me as nice. I'm just not sure if 'nice' is a big enough personality with all these out-going people who are always leading the conversation Hope this makes sense and someone has some good advice to help me feel less anxious about the whole situation.
    It's the same with any situation where you put some new people together (think of the first ep of The Apprentice for example!). The big personalities all show off and it's a competition as to who can be the 'craziest'/coolest/most fun/drink the most etc. Everybody feels like they're going to be left out if they don't instantly become best friends with everybody they meet so there's lots of pretend friendships form.

    You're just ahead of the crowd in realising you don't actually like some of the people you've met and you don't want to be the 'crazy one', the 'cool one' etc but just want to be a nice person and hang out with other nice people. I guarantee everybody else will tire of each other and feel the same in a few weeks.

    If you do feel you're not making a connection with your flatmates however then do join some societies so you have a chance to meet some other like-minded people They might be a bit 'Freshers crazy' at first too but stick it out and they should calm down
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    (Original post by Cinnie)
    If you're a nice guy, you have nothing to worry about. Freshers is not great for introverts but you'll meet people just like you soon. Stay positive.
    OP's female - just putting that out there.
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    (Original post by TurboCretin)
    OP's female - just putting that out there.
    So? Do you have any advice or?
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    (Original post by moutonfou)
    It's the same with any situation where you put some new people together (think of the first ep of The Apprentice for example!). The big personalities all show off and it's a competition as to who can be the 'craziest'/coolest/most fun/drink the most etc. Everybody feels like they're going to be left out if they don't instantly become best friends with everybody they meet so there's lots of pretend friendships form.

    You're just ahead of the crowd in realising you don't actually like some of the people you've met and you don't want to be the 'crazy one', the 'cool one' etc but just want to be a nice person and hang out with other nice people. I guarantee everybody else will tire of each other and feel the same in a few weeks.

    If you do feel you're not making a connection with your flatmates however then do join some societies so you have a chance to meet some other like-minded people They might be a bit 'Freshers crazy' at first too but stick it out and they should calm down
    Thank you, I feel a lot more comfortable during the day and at lectures because other people are there for the course and to study. I know you have to find a balance between study and personal life but I just want to feel happy and relaxed!
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    (Original post by sunnydespair)
    Remember. The whole point of university is to get a degree. My best advice is to start off on the right foot. Remember the more work you do this term, the less you will have to do in 2015. So once you start lectures things will become good. You will be studying most days Monday to Friday. You will also be able to join societies and meet people. Glasgow is a beautiful city too. Also get everything organised with your room and stationary and food in the fridge so you don't have to worry about that stuff once you start studying.

    Just to let you know that I had anxiety and depression during the first two years of my degree. Looking back as a happier person, I wished I had kept my head down and studied harder, and also got more involved in societies as I ended up doing that in my third year and being much happier
    Okay thank you, this helped a lot! I'll probably go home at weekends quite a bit to get a break from all the partiers! Do you think that's a bad idea?
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    (Original post by Cinnie)
    So? Do you have any advice or?
    I just thought you might want to edit your post - I was trying to be helpful.

    As you haven't edited it in the interim, I assume that you were actually advocating a sex change for the OP. If so, I retract my previous post and replace it with the following: your advice probably creates more problems than it solves.

    OP, I would advise you to stay the same sex. And to join some societies relevant to your interests.
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    (Original post by KirstieMaccc)
    Okay thank you, this helped a lot! I'll probably go home at weekends quite a bit to get a break from all the partiers! Do you think that's a bad idea?
    I would recommend doing this especially if you live quite close to Glasgow and have a decent gap in your timetable between Friday and Monday
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    (Original post by TurboCretin)
    .
    You're funny for a girl.
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    (Original post by Cinnie)
    You're funny for a girl.
    I...okay.
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    (Original post by KirstieMaccc)
    So I've just finished freshers(I liked it ) and now I've started lectures and I'm not enjoy uni that much. My flatmates aren't horrible people I just don't feel like I fit in. There's a group of two boys and two girls and I seem like they will become very cliquey, I don't want to be IN the clique I just find it intimidating. I know I don't want to go out with them but you always here them together having fun and I don't want to join them as they are loud and kind of overlook me - I make a statement and nobody says anything. I'm only 17 so can't go out but even if I was 18 I don't want to go out drinking all the time and the I have heard one of the boys in the clique talk about pills and things and I HATE DRUGS! I talk to the quiet girls a lot because I like that they aren't pushy and don't go out a lot. I'm very much into staying in during the week, maybe going to see friends at night then having the occasional Saturday night out. I like pubs and a few drinks with a take-out and the rugby on. I just don't feel comfortable with so much partying and I'm scared I'll be judged for staying in my room or going home at weekends. During high school I became more confident, I was one of those people who got on with everyone and people saw me as nice. I'm just not sure if 'nice' is a big enough personality with all these out-going people who are always leading the conversation Hope this makes sense and someone has some good advice to help me feel less anxious about the whole situation.
    being happy on your own is a big thing
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    (Original post by KirstieMaccc)
    So I've just finished freshers(I liked it ) and now I've started lectures and I'm not enjoy uni that much. My flatmates aren't horrible people I just don't feel like I fit in. There's a group of two boys and two girls and I seem like they will become very cliquey, I don't want to be IN the clique I just find it intimidating. I know I don't want to go out with them but you always here them together having fun and I don't want to join them as they are loud and kind of overlook me - I make a statement and nobody says anything. I'm only 17 so can't go out but even if I was 18 I don't want to go out drinking all the time and the I have heard one of the boys in the clique talk about pills and things and I HATE DRUGS! I talk to the quiet girls a lot because I like that they aren't pushy and don't go out a lot. I'm very much into staying in during the week, maybe going to see friends at night then having the occasional Saturday night out. I like pubs and a few drinks with a take-out and the rugby on. I just don't feel comfortable with so much partying and I'm scared I'll be judged for staying in my room or going home at weekends. During high school I became more confident, I was one of those people who got on with everyone and people saw me as nice. I'm just not sure if 'nice' is a big enough personality with all these out-going people who are always leading the conversation Hope this makes sense and someone has some good advice to help me feel less anxious about the whole situation.
    Sounds kind of similar to my first few weeks at university. I hated it so much and found classes uninspiring. I hated my flatmates and the icky way they behaved. So I moved flats, made friends there, and also joined a sports club (skiing and snowboarding) and also made friends there. The funny thing is that I met my two best friends from undergrad at a Christian non-alcoholic pub quiz, even though we were neither Christians nor tee-total! But they were also hiding from the atmosphere too so we all bonded like that. Just go to things, unusual things, and you'll meet people who probably feel the same as you. I promise it will get better. I went home every weekend in first year and then once I was living with my best friends, I barely went home again!
 
 
 
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