Uni

Okay, I'm off to uni soon, and felt I needed to post here to try and see if I'm not alone and also for moral support!

I know that the majority of people feel both excited and nervous, but in a way, I've not really registered the fact that I'm going... as stupid as it sounds, it doesn't seem real.

I've always been close to my family, and over the years been quite academic and as a result not exactly socially confident: I feel that by going to uni, it'll stop me from avoiding social situations like I tend to do now. It only really dawned on me recently exactly how 'introverted' I have been, in that I've never been proactive in going out. I've never been clubbing, as sad as that may seem, it's just never been me, and I've never had a boyfriend...

My school experience has had its lows too: I was always teased for being hardworking and trying at school, and although that died down I always felt quite a bad judge of character, and I'm terrified that this will haunt me when I'm at uni: I just feel like I deserve to be happy, but I'm so used to the security of my parents, etc, I don't know how I can feel excited about it all! It just seems that it's going to take a lot of energy and motivation for me to start afresh. How can I try and be more positive about this (and try and dull down the homesickness that I know I'll feel)?

Reply 1

Anonymous #2

Its even easier to be socially introverted at uni but just let yourself go in freshers week. Noone will know you so just go crazy. Drink a lot but not too much and join societies you are interested in. If you are doing lots you wont have time to think :smile:

Reply 2

DENNIS_MENACE

Freshers week- the very name suggests you can start a fresh.

Seriously, relax, be yourself and most importantly: Have fun!! You will have a great time!

Reply 3

music__lover

When you get there you'll probably get hit by a wave of 'oh my god this is actually real' then you'l feel really homesick, then you'll realise that everyone else feels the same as you do thus forming a basis for friendship and you'll make loads of new mates! The best tip about homesickness is just to ride it out. it's inevitable i think, but try to take advantage of all the new and exciting things on offer to you and this might take your mind off it. Also don't be afraid to ring home and have a good cry about how much you miss it!

Reply 4

hixey101

just use it as an excuse to be confident and happy without being judged by people that know the old you.

Reply 5

khil

Never having been clubbing isn't sad. I've never been clubbing til I got to uni - and then I realised it isn't my scene and I don't go clubbing anymore even though all my friends go. I don't feel out of place for that though. Clubbing isn't me - full stop. I'll go if it's a friend's celebration or something but otherwise, why would I wanna spend £7 just to be bored out of my mind?

And I've never had a bf before uni either :smile:

Half my year hated me cus I'm lazy but I get good grades and I was waiting for them to gloat when I didn't get into my firm :redface:

Although they never got the chance cus I did get into my firm :biggrin:

Think about it this way - yes uni would involve you making an effort with meeting people, possibly getting out of your comfort zone and feeling a little shy and uncomfortable at first. But you'll get so much out of it! And these are skills you'll need when you go out and get a job - the skills to relate and get on with people, to talk and approach people. Uni is a safe environment to develop those skills where everyone would only be out looking for friends and not competition like at work, uni where people don't have a reason to be jealous of you cus you're all doing the subject you love, unlike at work where people might be jealous at your rank or respect or skills, and uni where you still have your home and parents to go back to, unlike at work where you start living on your own and you don't have that safety net anymore. And unlike work, at uni, you'll have fun trying to develop those qualities :smile:

Don't worry about it hun :hugs:

If you feel homesick then there's nothing stopping you from going home for the weekend. You'll likely make so many friends you wouldn't wanna go home lol :biggrin:

Reply 6

person 34

I think Uni is exactly what you need. Of course you won't be the only one feeling like this, I mean there will be quite a few people art uni who work hard, n don't go clubbing etc, n they will be your sort of people maybe. Or perhaps, it will emancipate a completely new side to yourself which never knew you had. Yes you will be homesick, obviously, but try and make advantage of this situation, which may seem harsh n your eyes, but in the long run, I think it can only do good things for you. Best of luck :smile:

Reply 7

Siz

I was exactly the same as you - before uni, I'd never been clubbing or had a boyfriend either. And I was pretty academic as well, and yep, was teased for it, a lot :rolleyes:

And I'm a very family-orientated person.

I've just done my first year of uni, and apart from being slightly homesick round the Wednesday of Freshers' Week, I settled in really well. So first off, you don't know that you're going to be really homesick :smile:

I thought I would be, but really, there's so much going on that you don't really have time to be homesick! As for meeting new people, I was a pretty shy person at the start of uni, but you just have to bite the bullet and talk to people - everyone's in the same boat, and there's bound to be lots of people who are feeling as nervous and uneasy as you are. In fact, they might really welcome you talking to them, because they couldn't quite pluck up the courage to talk to you first.

On the first day you move in, get to know everyone in your flat - make tea/coffee, share out biscuits etc, or, if you're in a corridor-style hall of residence, keep your door open, go and meet people, and don't forget the biscuits :wink:

Don't restrict yourself to members of your own flat/corridor either - go and meet other people in your building! None of my close friends, the ones I'm living with this year, were from my corridor.

During the first week or two, it's quite likely there'll be a lot of club nights organised. Go on them! Either you'll find you actually quite like it, as I did, or you'll really not enjoy it, and that's fine too. There are going to be people in the same situation who don't actually enjoy it that much either. It might be the typical idea of uni that everyone goes out and gets absolutely plastered every night, but it's just not true :P

You do deserve to be happy and, as long as you make an effort to chat to people and meet people with the same interests - you will be :smile:

Good luck!

Reply 8

That artistic one

I went to uni last year and felt the same, but it really helped me and i settled in well and was just myself...im going to a different uni this year because im starting a new course and im also nervous and excited, but for some reason i feel more nervous than last year...i dont know why apart from that i am going to a different uni and it is like a fresh start again!! i leave by plane tomorrow! :biggrin:

Reply 9

Siz

Good luck Jenn :smile:

Going abroad?

Reply 10

username47781

Nothing wrong with being hard working at all, clearly those people who teased you were jealous. Freshers week is a great opportunity to meet new people, go for it, it will be fun.

Reply 11

Anonymous #1

Thanks for all of the replies! :smile:

anon - thanks, yeah I hope that Fresher's week will help distract me, in a way... I guess I'm just a bit nervous about feeling out of it all, I really hope I enjoy myself! Although I don't really drink, and apparently the place where I'm staying is a bit of a party place :redface:

DENNIS_MENACE - thanks! I think because it really is a fresh start that I'm feeling especially anxious about it all!

music__lover - thanks to you too. Homesickness is what I'm predicting/pre-empting, but you're right, I guess I need to take advantage of it! I'm just lack confidence socially, so the thought of having to do it and even just make those first few uncomfortable words of conversation makes me nervous! I know I'll be ringing home, as I am close to them, I just know that if I ring them up and say I'm unhappy, that they'll be worrying about me, and they've been through such a lot with me over the past few years, and really supportive, I guess I'd feel guilt, and like a bit of a baby!

hixey101 - definitely! Hopefully I can do that in practise :frown:

irisng - thanks so much :smile:

Ithink you've hit the nail on the head: it's going out of my comfort zone, but in a couple of different ways: both academically and socially. I'm also worried about the work-social balance, since I've basically always thrown myself into my work to get good grades and get to a decent uni for myself, and now I've been lucky enough to acheive that I feel more inadequate on the 'making friends' part of my life! So I really want to mix with new poeple, yet I want to remain dedicated to working too, which in itself has been my 'comfort zone'. Hopefully that made some kind of sense!

person 34 - it's not harsh at all,thanks :smile:

It's just doing it in practise...I'm busy getting stuff for going, yet it doesn't seem like I'll be going through with it!

Siz - I'm so glad you empathise with me! I just hope I don't mess up on the friends front, as some people in the past haven't always been the nicest people to me...I'm scared of not meeting people who I can be friends with, but superficial people! Thanks :smile:

Jenn - all the best!

Reply 12

Anonymous #1

Carl1982 - thanks... yeah, in hindsight I think jealously played a part, but I really regret how it has knocked my confidence. The main reason I'm dragging myself to uni is to build my confidence, I'm just not quite sure how to go about it (as silly as that may sound to some people), as I'll be away from home at the same time!

Reply 13

username47781

Anonymous

Don't let it bruise ya :biggrin:

hard work gets you big rewards in the end

Reply 14

TheConfuddledOne

Anonymous

It hasnt hit me yet either that its real. Don't worry about uni btw. You'll be fine. Im really not into clubs that much either and dont drink at all really. Good thing about uni is there's so many people, so many socieities and all that, that you'll find others similar to you. So you're not alone in that.