My sister is eating an insanely small amount of calories and I'm terrified for her. I keep getting angry because I can't deal with the fact that she's giving her body so little and she has a tiny frame already so how long is her body going to be able to cope with this? She's had eating problems for a few years now (as her family we tried to get help a number of times, but were always told that unless she went to get help herself they couldn't help her-at the time she was a low weight but apparently not officially under-it makes sense to me to intervene at that stage but apparently health professionals think otherwise) but this extreme phase started a couple of months ago. I don't want to trigger people too much so I won't list what she's eating, but suffice to say the calorie level is below that of even a serious diet.
I'm worried and I try to stay quiet and let her get on with it but when she talks about calories all the time, talks about being hungry and worried that if she does eat she'll eat everything because she's so hungry, I get mad because I know she's just basically starving herself and I can't help but think that right now is the best time for her to shock herself into eating more because it will only get worse/harder in the future. It doesn't help that I have agoraphobia so she tells me that I have no right to not understand her or tell her to eat, but I have to go out sometimes and that's not pleasant for me but I do it-and agoraphobia doesn't have such an immediate impact on your physical health. As far as I know no one's suffered organ failure from staying inside their house.
I know I sound ridiculously uncaring here, but I do try really hard to understand and I'm obviously personally aware of the strain of mental illness and how you don't have control over it but how can I stay calm when I can see her losing weight rapidly? She has an appointment with a dietitian but it's at the end of next month and she has no access to a counselor or therapist before that-the person she was seeing said that because she's now under BMI she has to see the dietitian before they can give her talking therapy/CBT. My anxiety is severe anyway and I don't think I can stand this kind of worry much longer. I sound so selfish, and I hate that, but I don't want to see her like this.
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No idea how to deal with my sister's eating disorder (possible triggers) watch
- Thread Starter
- 24-09-2014 17:11
- 24-09-2014 19:21
My gf had anorexia and is now free of it. Getting angry doesn't help at all, you basically have to take the pressure off and just ask her how she is feeling. Talk to her, comfort her, tell her your concerned for her health and just make genuine suggestions without forcing her to do anything. The reason she is doing this is because she is scared about something and trying to control it through her weight. You have to find out what that is.
- 24-09-2014 21:17
dont feel bad, you care for your sister and living with someone with anorexia is really hard... you have every right to feel the way you do and it's completely understandable that you do
unfortunately there is not much you can do to help her, the doctors are right that she has to help herself, you're right that regardless of her weight she is putting a huge strain on her body and people can and do die at non skeletal weights however all you can do is be there for her and hope that she can be strong enough to fight it
however you CAN tell her if her talking about starving herself is upsetting you and ask her to not talk to you but I would be aware that her being fairly open about her ED is a very positive thing so I wouldn't discourage it if you can stand it