lolash
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Report Thread starter 5 years ago
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I've been at university for nearly two weeks now and I'm not coping with it as well as I thought I would. I moved in last Monday and went home on the Thursday for a family wedding. Those few days I was here I really enjoyed myself and met loads of new people and became basically best friends with the girls in my flat. We would spend every minute of the day together and got on as if we had known each other for years. However I got back this Sunday and it has been completely different to last week. Freshers officially started this week but everyone went out so much last week they have been too worn out to do anything this week, nonetheless they have gone out tonight and boy didn't I know about it! I'm not a big drinker at all and since being here I've only had one glass of wine and a gin and tonic - nothing at all! All my flat mates are big drinkers and the rest of the building are always over at our flat which results in a very dirty flat. I end up being the one who does all the tidying up, however the girls do do their fair share but the boys can't even clean their own dishes after dinner and they are left there until they use it again. I know that is probably just typical boys but I don't see why it is so difficult to clean up after themselves, it takes about 30 seconds. I don't really like going out either which is obviously a big part of university and thats a big downfall for me. I'm such a home bird and my family mean the world to me so being away from them is really hard for me. My mum was always suggesting to me to look into a university closer to home but I was always set on getting out the house and living on my own. Now I realise that was a big mistake, now I have to live with five other 18 year olds.

My dilemma is that I love the university itself as the course is fantastic and covers everything I want to learn about but living with other people my age has turned out much harder than I expected. I probably wouldn't mind it as much if I lived on my own. I've spoke to my family about moving back home and studying at my local university so that I can still live at home and still do my studies. They keep suggesting that I stick it out as long as possible but I'm finding it really hard to cope and keep a smile on my face. I'm not looking for attention but I just want to see if there are people in the same position as myself but I also suffer with anxiety and homesickness which has gotten a lot worse since being here and it is just making me miserable and upset all the time and when I am my regular self I am normally very happy and smiley all the time and I was getting a lot better with my anxiety before I came and I feel really disappointed that I have got back to the stage I was earlier on this year.

Another thing I am worried about if I was to leave is what would happen to my loans I have taken out for this year. I have done some research into it but it still isn't 100% clear. If I do leave I will probably take a gap year then apply again for next year to a university closer to home, is this a difficult process or is it just the same as last year?

I hope I'm not the only one in this situation as my mum has been reassuring me that there are plenty of others in the same boat as me but I just feel alone on this.
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jennymcc
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Report 5 years ago
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Hi there you'll be pleased to hear that you're not the only one. I'm 20 and in my last year at uni and I'm still homesick all of the time. Like you I wanted to move out when I was 17, meet all new friends and start an amazing life but you do soon realise when freshers week finishes and reality starts that this is serious. It's not some holiday and you do need to work. I find it very hard even now going into my last year, I love my family very much and me and my parents are very close and I just hate leaving them. I'm from just south of Glasgow and I go to uni 3 hours up north in Aberdeen. It does her better tho, I find the more I go home the more unsettled I become and so does my mum so if I were you I'd try give it time to settle it and I'm sure this time next month you'll be alot happier. I have anxiety too and I constantly worry about everything and I've just had enough of being away from family now being here for 3 years now! But it's worth it in the end. Being away makes you appreciate coming home and makes me a appreciate everything my family do for me and how much I love them. Join societies and make friends in your class. University doesn't have to involve painful amounts of alcohol to have a good time, just stick in try and forget about things and my biggest thing to say to you is always keep yourself busy!!! Hope I could help a wee bit
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Reord
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Report 5 years ago
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Please, please don't take the first two weeks of uni as being indicative of your entire 3-4 years of uni. Of course things are going to feel difficult now, it's so new. If it reassures you to look into how you would leave, then that's great, do so if it helps you feel less anxious. But then listen to your family - stick it out. There is no reason to give up a good course that you enjoy, and the chance of "practising" living away from home, because you feel awkward, anxious and homesick for the 2 weeks you have been there. The majority of students will feel exactly the same as you feel.

You can't expect miracles of yourself so don't give up while you're waiting for one. Just go with it, go with the awkwardness, talk to your family lots, whatever it takes to get you through your first month - and things will start feeling better I'm sure.
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