Dealing with murder.

I could post anonymously, but the internet is pretty anonymous anyway, it's not like anyone will tag who I am.

Anyway, my Great Grandmother died the other day in what seems to be a murder case. I didn't find out until after school when my brother called to tell me to go back to my mum's house so he could tell me some important news. I would have never expected for him to say what he did.

When he broke the news, I didn't know how to feel. It was strange, I found it hard to believe, but accepted that there was nothing that we could do about it and a whole load of other emotions all in one big bundle. It just seemed unreal, like a massive joke just to mess around with my head.

It's just really strange, I was on the phone to her for a bit the other night and all was dandy, now she's been taken away from us. If it had been from a natural death, I wouldn't feel awkward about this, but it's because there's the extremely high chance of murder it doesn't feel right at all. Unless she killed herself, which I highly doubt.

I had to go to her house (where it happened) on the day she died. It was unreal, thinking that only a week or two ago I had my dinner there and a nice time with her. She was the only grandparent I really got to know and appreciate, I can't drive but I went to see her whenever I was in the area for whatever reason. The only one I had a chance to connect with. I know it isn't fair in any murder, but I'd never have thought it'd happen to someone in my family.

I don't know, it's just strange. I know I'm going to become a stronger person after this, but it doesn't change that she's gone. As much as I wish we could have done something, it wasn't expected and we couldn't do a thing about it.

I just had to post it. The only people that know I'm related to a murder victim are those who are close enough for me to trust with my life. I'm okay on this public forum, because most (if not everyone) here will never know who I am. I just needed to let some things out, as far as my friends are concerned, I'm keeping face so they don't worry or give me too much sympathy.

Reply 1

tbm

Im really sorry to hear about your great grandmother, my granmother died a few years back and I was devastated, although obviously not under the same condition that yours did.

I guess you have two things to deal with; the fact that she is now gone, and the fact that she might have been murdered, which must be really hard. Have you thought about speaking to anyone? Im sure if you spoke to your family they would be supportive, afterall theyre going through the same thing and it might help. If not, try speaking to a third party, like a bereavement counsellor, if you feel it might help and its not too soon.

Its going to take time to get used to living without her, and it will probably feel weird for ages, so dont expect the feeling to disappear overnight. Take every day as it comes and take it from there. Hope you feel better soon and manage to find a way of coming to terms with this x

Reply 2

sidi

Really sorry to hear such a sad story. You must be devastated. Any death is hard to deal with but this is such a shock. It's ok to try and keep face in front of some of your friends but you must unload onto someone so if this forum helps that's great. Your family may all be trying to keep face and not upset each other, but, let's face it - the worst has happened so talking about it isn't going to make it any worse. If you can bring yourself to talk about your gran to your family remember the good times. Keep her memory alive in a good way. It will take time to come to terms with it so allow yourself that time. One day at a time. My thoughts are with you.

Reply 3

x_emme_x

wow, i am surprised that you decided to come out with this to be honest. Any death of a loved one is a shock that it often means you put your life on hold to deal with mourning. Your Grandmother would be glad to see that from all the bad that happened, there has been something positive to you. Becoming stronger is hard, but even sometimes you have to cry. It's human nature to show emotions although it might not be "cool" to show them in front of friends, but they would know how you feel if it had happened to them. Emptiness is natural as well. So it helplessness. You have to think positive and hope and pray that whoever did the crime, is paying greatly. I agree with Sidi that talk about her like she is still alive. As she is in metaphorical terms, and one place to can always visit anyone is your heart, where you can talk to her [this may sound really really stupid but believe me it works] and laugh with her.

Your Grandmother is alive in your heart and memory, do what she would want you to do. Try your very best at School and when you get those results, she will be with you celebrating and if you do worst she'll still be there comforting you. Just remember one thing: At least you had chance to make a mark on her life, as for others are not so lucky to still have Grandparents. You said you're not looking for sympathy but i believe that everyone will share the same thoughts and feelings for you and the other people affected by her death.

Also Thank-you for sharing how your coping with the death, shows to us all that it is possible to get a positive from something so evil. Lets hope that the person who did this pays greatly for her death and the grief of anyone who knew her.

Reply 4

Historiana

I'm so sorry. I hope the person who did it is found out, and I hope you don't know them (in most murder cases, the victim knows the murderer). Sad but true :frown: