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Long-distance relationship, cheating boyfriend, help!

2 weeks ago by boyfriend (or ex, slightly confused where we're at) moved to university 3 hours away from me. We haven't been together a long time, only a few months, but we were seeing each other for sometime as well. We've done a lot together and he's one of the nicest guys i've met, we've got a lot in common and its been really cool.
We both got really upset when he left, but when he got there after a couple of days, he said there's no temptation at all, he's not that kind of person at all to cheat. We didn't talk much the first week, I wanted to give him space to socialise and make friends.
But little under a week he messaged me saying he kissed someone in a club, a stranger, he was really drunk and can't remember much.
I was very angry and made my point clear that I was pissed off! But I gave him a second chance because it was only a kiss and I can understand the pressure of freshers. He was really apologetic and told me he would never leave me or betray me like that again.

But then a couple days later my friends told me they had noticed he had hidden his relationship status on Facebook. So i confronted him about it and he said maybe we should go on a break. I was confused as he said he wanted to be with me and I felt a bit back stabbed as I had just given him a second chance. We skyped later that day and confessed that he doesn't want to break up he was just too scared to tell me that he had done hand sexual stuff (you know) with the same girl. He was drunk again.
I broke down, I broke up with him instantly. I get angry more than upset and it got messy.
I'm not going to go into detail what happened next but, then the next day after arguing he was crying to me etc etc
I was having none of it, but now a week on we've still been talking after agreeing to keep distance for a while.
He's still my best friend but now it feels like we're still in a relationship because we've been chatting and continuing as normal.
Well not completely normal as i keep reminding him that he's built up my trust twice and just knocked it down.

My mum loves him and thinks he's a really nice lad, and says he just got caught up in freshers life and I should get back with him.
My best friend says that she understands me as feeling do take over. As i do still love him.
All my other friends have been giving me hell, and telling me to keep away from him.

I'm not sure if we're still together, it feels like it but officially i guess not.

What would you do in my situation?

Reply 1

Youni-chan

Kick him to the curb...he cheated on you, betrayed your trust? What's the point? Take him back officially and he'll think it's okay to keep doing it as you'll just take him back...

Reply 2

Rum Ham

If it were me personally, I would dump him and never look back. Yes, it would be hard forgetting him and all that jazz but deep down I would know that I deserve better.

Reply 3

Mankytoes

Look, he's just started three years of uni, and he's already having these feelings. It's very rare for relationships to survive uni, and considering how this has started, and that you've only been together a few months, it's difficult to see this ending well. He's now cheated on you twice, if you take him back you're really starting to act like a sucker. Just loving someone isn't enough.

You need to give yourself some space and time, stop talking to him for a bit.

Reply 4

Afghan Warrior

He cheated. Break up and move on. Don't bother attempting to make the relationship work because once a cheater, always a cheater.

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Reply 5

username163729

I personally don't think it's worth trying to salvage anything. Not worth wasting your time as you'll be able to find a much better relationship easily enough in the future.

Reply 6

SophiaLDN

You keep making excuses for him and you give him the message that what he is doing is ok. You get angry and cry, he apologises and cries, all is forgiven, he cheats, repeat cycle. Why would he stop cheating? Don't be a mug.

He will not stop cheating on you as he has no respect for you. Fresher's week & being 'drunk' is no excuse, its actually pathetic. Even more insulting as it was the same girl, so it clearly wasn't a 'mistake'. What's even more shocking is that he tried to deceive you and is clearly acting like a single guy at Uni (hiding his relationship status from everyone). Why are you accepting this? You're basically telling him that its ok to cheat on you (he did it twice already, so far) and you always forgive him. Even now you're still contemplating it & acting normal with him. When will you actually wake up, after he cheats on you for the 8th time? Get rid of him.

Sorry to be so harsh, but you do need a wake up call.