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Gay Parenting
I am a gay male and I have recently been thinking about the pros and cons of myself ever becoming a parent. One day i'd love to but obviously being gay makes it a bit harder than for a heterosexual couple. I mean does it matter that much as long as the child is going to be loved and cared for in the same way. So i just want to know what you guys think about the subject, so give me your thoughts, the good and the bad.
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I really, really wouldn't want to be a kid growing up at school with a gay parent. Imagine the baitings.
Anonymous
I am a gay male and I have recently been thinking about the pros and cons of myself ever becoming a parent. One day i'd love to but obviously being gay makes it a bit harder than for a heterosexual couple. I mean does it matter that much as long as the child is going to be loved and cared for in the same way. So i just want to know what you guys think about the subject, so give me your thoughts, the good and the bad.
I think gay couples, or those who are not in a relationship but want to bring up a child should feel free to do so, bearing in mind the added difficulties and pressures of bringing up a child, in a society which, although not technically homophobic, has still not fully embraced the homosexual community.
The pros for you as a potential parent is that you will experience the joy (and mostly horror, lol) of being a parent, and seeing a child become an adult. The only con I can think of is the added pressure, which a heterosexual would not have to under go with becoming a parent.
Take my advice, go for it!
Bluelight
In theory it would be better for a child to have two loving parents (be they gay or lesbian) and get teased, than not get teased and have two totally crap parents who drag up another burden to society.
Completely agree.
Furthermore, I would hope that our society would become more open-minded by the next decade or two.
You could always choose home schooling if you fear that the child would be bullied.
But as Bluelight said, since the 1950's, the gay community has been on the rise. Who would have thought that there would be civil unions allowed in Britain for homosexuals 15 years ago. Hopefully, in another 15 years, homosexuality would be seen as more normal, and the potential stigma of being a gay parent would have disappeared.
But as Bluelight said, since the 1950's, the gay community has been on the rise. Who would have thought that there would be civil unions allowed in Britain for homosexuals 15 years ago. Hopefully, in another 15 years, homosexuality would be seen as more normal, and the potential stigma of being a gay parent would have disappeared.
The fact is, 'heterosexual families', cannot collectively pride themselves on creating a stable and loving institution for a child to grow up. We are all aware that a great many 'heterosexual families' are dysfunctional, and create a negative atmosphere for the child. Its not like gays have got a lot to live up to, is it?
Bluelight
In theory it would be better for a child to have two loving parents (be they gay or lesbian) and get teased, than not get teased and have two totally crap parents who drag up another burden to society.
You think? Kids grow up to think their parents are uncool and annoying, and to respect their friends. What's going to happen if they have no friends because of their parents? They will grow up resentful of their parents, with no one to turn to. Great. Just what we need.
I'm gay, and I wouldn't adopt. Of course, it's great if kids are wonderfully accepting of homosexuality, but you have to realise that gay is a dirty word on the playground. "That's gay." "Oh, come on, don't be gay." "Hey, everyone, my dads are gay." Until homosexuality is more accepted, I wouldn't risk it.
Whatever happens, that child won't have a "normal" childhood. It's almost an inevitability that he/she will be bullied or teased in some way at school, and I really wouldn't suggest homeschooling as an equal alternative. By taking a child out of the education system and not giving them the chance to mix with people of their own age, you've effectively ruined any chances of them having a normal childhood already. While I'm sure some people would come out of that background as perfectly normal and well-integrated adults, I think that a lot will/would feel far more socially isolated than if they were to have a standard family background.
And at the end of the day, the reason gay couples would want to raise children will be almost completely selfish. Unless the child they adopted had a troubled background, I can't see any other reason as to why they'd want to adopt than to satisfy their desire to have a child. Is it really right to put said child through it all, just to satisfy those needs? In 20-30 years, when it's more socially acceptable to be gay, maybe. But right now it'd be a mistake, imo.
Edit: Added to this, is whether or not the child would have the ability to relate to people of the opposite gender. If a boy grows up with 2 gay men as parents, I'm sure they'd have trouble relating to girls.
And at the end of the day, the reason gay couples would want to raise children will be almost completely selfish. Unless the child they adopted had a troubled background, I can't see any other reason as to why they'd want to adopt than to satisfy their desire to have a child. Is it really right to put said child through it all, just to satisfy those needs? In 20-30 years, when it's more socially acceptable to be gay, maybe. But right now it'd be a mistake, imo.
Edit: Added to this, is whether or not the child would have the ability to relate to people of the opposite gender. If a boy grows up with 2 gay men as parents, I'm sure they'd have trouble relating to girls.
-1984-
The fact is, 'heterosexual families', cannot collectively pride themselves on creating a stable and loving institution for a child to grow up. We are all aware that a great many 'heterosexual families' are dysfunctional, and create a negative atmosphere for the child. Its not like gays have got a lot to live up to, is it?
This is true, but there havent been enough examples of children raised by gay couples to see if the children become dysfunctional in some way.
Id probably err on the side of caution and say avioid it, as Nsiky said its only a selfish desire anyway (not that theres anything wrong with said desire, it just doesnt have any impact outside of the self
).
generalebriety
You think? Kids grow up to think their parents are uncool and annoying, and to respect their friends. What's going to happen if they have no friends because of their parents? They will grow up resentful of their parents, with no one to turn to. Great. Just what we need.
I'm gay, and I wouldn't adopt. Of course, it's great if kids are wonderfully accepting of homosexuality, but you have to realise that gay is a dirty word on the playground. "That's gay." "Oh, come on, don't be gay." "Hey, everyone, my dads are gay." Until homosexuality is more accepted, I wouldn't risk it.
I'm gay, and I wouldn't adopt. Of course, it's great if kids are wonderfully accepting of homosexuality, but you have to realise that gay is a dirty word on the playground. "That's gay." "Oh, come on, don't be gay." "Hey, everyone, my dads are gay." Until homosexuality is more accepted, I wouldn't risk it.
You're forgetting that there are thousands of children who don't get adopted at all. Do you think they'd prefer being teased about having gay parents or spending their entire childhood in a dozen different foster homes?
-1984-
You could always choose home schooling if you fear that the child would be bullied.
But as Bluelight said, since the 1950's, the gay community has been on the rise. Who would have thought that there would be civil unions allowed in Britain for homosexuals 15 years ago. Hopefully, in another 15 years, homosexuality would be seen as more normal, and the potential stigma of being a gay parent would have disappeared.
But as Bluelight said, since the 1950's, the gay community has been on the rise. Who would have thought that there would be civil unions allowed in Britain for homosexuals 15 years ago. Hopefully, in another 15 years, homosexuality would be seen as more normal, and the potential stigma of being a gay parent would have disappeared.
er no disresepect but being gay isnt normal, its not a natural thing, i understand the need to embrace the homosexual community but dont try and make it out to be normal becuase it isnt, im an open minded person, some of my good freinds are gay but to then imply to our chilldren that being gay is a normal natural thing is in my opinion wrong, also whouldnt the child become confused as to its own sexual orientaion, if it grows up with gay parents it will think that being attracted to the same sex is normal
The child of gay parents will face problems, true, but that doesn't mean that child won't grow up to be a happy, functional person.
what's to say gay isn't normal. what a child needs to know, when it's growing up, is that its thier choice whether they're straight or gay, without pressures to be normal
what's to say gay isn't normal. what a child needs to know, when it's growing up, is that its thier choice whether they're straight or gay, without pressures to be normal
Personally, I don't have a problem with it as long as the child is loved and cared for. As was said before, some hetrosexual couples don't make great parents, so why should we stop someone who would make a good parent from being a parent just because of their sexuality?
We can have equal opportunities in this country or we can't - if we do, then whats good enough for men has to be good enough for women, and whats good enough for hetrosexual people is good enough for homosexuals.
Enough said.
We can have equal opportunities in this country or we can't - if we do, then whats good enough for men has to be good enough for women, and whats good enough for hetrosexual people is good enough for homosexuals.
Enough said.
Austin226
er no disresepect but being gay isnt normal, its not a natural thing, i understand the need to embrace the homosexual community but dont try and make it out to be normal becuase it isnt, im an open minded person, some of my good freinds are gay but to then imply to our chilldren that being gay is a normal natural thing is in my opinion wrong, also whouldnt the child become confused as to its own sexual orientaion, if it grows up with gay parents it will think that being attracted to the same sex is normal
Homosexuality is a part of the human condition, and so it is 'normal'. Many scientists now believe that it serves an evolutionary purpose.
Furthermore, your arguing that if a child was to be brought up by gay parents, then he/she might be confused, but I think that's a weak argument, because if that was the case, why do a substantial minority of heterosexual parents have gay children? I don't think there is a correlation between the parents sexual orientation, and the child's sexuality.
Homosexuality does have a psychological basis, but it is primarily down to genes, and so growing up in a gay family, should not effect the child.
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