Daughter has developed severe anxiety :(

My daughter is starting her second year at Uni and is living in a house with 5 others who she thought she knew pretty well. Trouble is, it turns out they are quite 'druggy' which is deeply troubling to my daughter and making her very anxious. I've suggested she calls a house mtg with the others girls and she's made appointments to see student councillor to help her move back into halls for this year, even though we've been told they are full. Is there any other advice you could give that we should be doing? I'm worried sick about my daughter- she is normally such a fun loving girl who loves to go out, but the whole drugs thing at Uni seems to be really scaring her.

Reply 1

Harvey Dent

Hey,
I'm a student myself, and I had problems with druggy flatmates in halls last year. They'd smoke in huge groups in one of their rooms and basically gas the whole flat.
I know it probably won't make your daughter popular, but in the end drugs are illegal and shouldn't be being used in a student house. She's well within her rights to get the police involved (anonymously, of course).
Hope this helps,
Two-Face

Reply 2

MummyM

Thanks so much for your reply! I'll put this to her.

Reply 3

Holmstock

Original post by MummyM

I am sorry to hear that she is having a bad time. My youngest is suddenly anxious, but it seems to be generalised (new uniform, new classmates, starting A-levels etc), whereas your daughter seems to have good cause. She sounds as if she is dealing with it sensibly though. Hopefully she can get a place somewhere else soon - even if the halls are full, there are likely to be a few people leaving uni over the next few weeks, so rooms should be freed up. In the meantime, can she lock her room so that she has an area that she can call her own and use as a retreat? If not, then I'd recommend fitting a lock. Also, if she is on a different course to the others in her house she can probably claim (and perhaps truthfully), tougher academic demands on her time this year, so that she can reduce the time spent with housemates, and perhaps increase her time with coursemates? Having friends to talk to is important when you have something like this going on. Best wishes to you both whilst it gets sorted out.

Reply 4

Tiger Rag

Has she spoken to her tutor? They won't be able to do anything about the issues involved; but it is worth letting them know. And has she spoken to the accommodation team at uni?

Reply 5

Folion

Original post by OU Student

Has she spoken to her tutor? They won't be able to do anything about the issues involved; but it is worth letting them know. And has she spoken to the accommodation team at uni?

I agree with this and from reading the opening post it appears that appointments are being made etc.

I do think it important that she mentions to her mentor/tutor for her course that she is currently having external issues. Although a course tutor is unlikely to be able to do anything directly it is generally good to inform them so that if the quality of her work dips there is a known reason. They may also be able to point her in the right direction of who else to contact.

I assume that she is renting from a private landlord? If that is the case then she is probably stuck with the rental contract for a year and you might have to help her out with another load of money to help cover rent for the next place she moves into. I think once she has found somewhere else she needs to inform her current landlord that she is vacating the property and why. If she wasn't aware that her "friends" were druggy then the landlord would likely not be aware either. I'm sure landlords are used to druggy tenants and see it as an occupational hazard but he/she might generously waver any damage fees from when your daughter left if she keeps paying the rent (which unless someone can be found to take her place she will likely be obliged to).

Daughter has developed severe anxiety :(

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