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Sex before Marriage - One for us Catholics...
Right, first off - I am a catholic. I have been all my life becuase my family is catholic. I like to think that I have a reasonable moral stance on life, I can usually see when things are wrong or immoral....and I am considered a quiet and very calm person by my friends.
Now - the complicated bit. I have been in a relationship for a month now with the most wonderful, amazing girl....we get on fantastically....and we think we love each other already. Our relationship has come to the stage where it feels the most natural thing in the world to have sex...and we have discussed it openly and both agree it feels right. Now, my gf knows I am catholic and asked how far we should go....to be honest, I am torn. I would love soo much to wait for marriage, I truly would - BUT I just can't ignore the overwhelming feeling that the time is right. This brings up the second issue: contraception. We are both 18 so we'd need to use contraception. I would cross so many religious lines...and go against most of what I have been brought up to believe.
Does anyone have any useful suggestions/experiences? Your comments would be much appreciated.
Now - the complicated bit. I have been in a relationship for a month now with the most wonderful, amazing girl....we get on fantastically....and we think we love each other already. Our relationship has come to the stage where it feels the most natural thing in the world to have sex...and we have discussed it openly and both agree it feels right. Now, my gf knows I am catholic and asked how far we should go....to be honest, I am torn. I would love soo much to wait for marriage, I truly would - BUT I just can't ignore the overwhelming feeling that the time is right. This brings up the second issue: contraception. We are both 18 so we'd need to use contraception. I would cross so many religious lines...and go against most of what I have been brought up to believe.
Does anyone have any useful suggestions/experiences? Your comments would be much appreciated.
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Well, this is coming from an Atheist, admittedly, but you would think that God would understand that times change, and so do customs and societies, and that values change with them. Marriage is no longer the sacred sacrement it once was, and you would think that God would understand that the sentiment behind having sex in a loving, commited relationship is the same as the sentiment of having sex within the institution of marriage.
Mmm. This is interesting.
I mean, I respect religious rules. But I see no justification for the belief in no contraception, in fact, I think that no contraception is a theoretically bad idea.
Also, it doesn't say in the Bible to not have sex before marriage, and in fact, marriage meant something completly different when the Bible was supposedly written.
About you - I'd say, do what feels right.
You think it feels rihgt, you love her, and you feel more than comfortable with it.
Think about what would be right for you. Morals and principles can change through life, as you grow up and as your circumstances change. And I'm sure that God can understand how things can change, how circumstances change.
Plus, love is one of the things that is really promoted (for want of a better word!) in the Bible, it comes above all others.
Just do what you feel is right, I say. x
I mean, I respect religious rules. But I see no justification for the belief in no contraception, in fact, I think that no contraception is a theoretically bad idea.
Also, it doesn't say in the Bible to not have sex before marriage, and in fact, marriage meant something completly different when the Bible was supposedly written.
About you - I'd say, do what feels right.
You think it feels rihgt, you love her, and you feel more than comfortable with it.
Think about what would be right for you. Morals and principles can change through life, as you grow up and as your circumstances change. And I'm sure that God can understand how things can change, how circumstances change.
Plus, love is one of the things that is really promoted (for want of a better word!) in the Bible, it comes above all others.
Just do what you feel is right, I say. x
I agree with just do what feels right, but with that comes the responsibilty for your ad your gfs lives, if neither of you are ready to have children then contraception is the only way.
Hmm....even I can't understand the whole 'no contraceptives' thing. It does seem absurd...especially when there are so many diseases transmitted nowerdays...
Thanks guys, this is really helpful....ahh i love her so much.
Thanks guys, this is really helpful....ahh i love her so much.
Can I suggest chosing your views on the world from something less insignificant than family heritage?
Do you realise what you could be missing out on by buying into centuries or ignorance and dogma?
I went to a catholic school, was raised as a catholic, and every day that I read more of the bible or saw how it all went on, I rejected it even more fiercly.
Honestly, why would the almighty god make you want to have sex, just so he could deny you it as a test? Why? It's so petty, its pointless, he created you, he knows what you will do (he knows everything, remember) and yet you seem to be trying to please the guy? Impossible, and have you actually read the first half of the bible? (you know, that bit all the christians like to ignore?) Its hideous.
Do you realise what you could be missing out on by buying into centuries or ignorance and dogma?
I went to a catholic school, was raised as a catholic, and every day that I read more of the bible or saw how it all went on, I rejected it even more fiercly.
Honestly, why would the almighty god make you want to have sex, just so he could deny you it as a test? Why? It's so petty, its pointless, he created you, he knows what you will do (he knows everything, remember) and yet you seem to be trying to please the guy? Impossible, and have you actually read the first half of the bible? (you know, that bit all the christians like to ignore?) Its hideous.
Mr.God
Well, this is coming from an Atheist, admittedly, but you would think that God would understand that times change.
Well thats interesting actually, because if sex before marriage was a sin against almight god, and god is infinite, and of course infallible (never ever ever wrong) so if he retracts his views on gays, contraception, sex before marriage and anal, he is showing himself to be an imperfect god.
If i want imperfect, Ill just worship something I can actually see.
perhaps he doesnt have to retract his view on gays etc, but merely say that for one society it is good and for another it is bad (who knows his motivation, he is god). hmmm i'm talking about it like i think hes real, i dont like that
"In Roman Catholicism, premarital sex is a sin. If you're having sex before you're married, you should stop. Sex was created for a husband and a wife, and having sex beforehand makes it a grave sin. Sex before marriage can cause numerous health and emotional problems.
Pregnancy is often a result of sex. Unexpected pregnancies give people the temptation of abortion. Abortion kills another human being, and God definitely doesn't want us to kill. When you're married, you're more stable to handle children.
Sex can also give you diseases, especially unprotected sex. God has designed sex for marriage for our safety, dignity, and care. Sex might be a huge temptation when you're in love, but it is an avoidable temptation.
When you have sex with someone, a remarkable bond is created. It's very emotional. You might be in love, but being unmarried brings on uncertainty. Don't give that bond to just anyone. Give it to your spouse.
According to Catholicism, it is that important to God that we should wait until marriage" - cited in http://catholicism.about.com/cs/sex/f/premsexfaq.htm.
^^Talk about trying to put you off!
Why is it bad before marriage and then ok after, what if you end up marrying this person anyway? Its your life, do what you want and don't feel restricted by do-gooders and beliefs, I'm sure those who preach the pre-marital sex is bad had probably engaged in this themselves.
Pregnancy is often a result of sex. Unexpected pregnancies give people the temptation of abortion. Abortion kills another human being, and God definitely doesn't want us to kill. When you're married, you're more stable to handle children.
Sex can also give you diseases, especially unprotected sex. God has designed sex for marriage for our safety, dignity, and care. Sex might be a huge temptation when you're in love, but it is an avoidable temptation.
When you have sex with someone, a remarkable bond is created. It's very emotional. You might be in love, but being unmarried brings on uncertainty. Don't give that bond to just anyone. Give it to your spouse.
According to Catholicism, it is that important to God that we should wait until marriage" - cited in http://catholicism.about.com/cs/sex/f/premsexfaq.htm.
^^Talk about trying to put you off!
Why is it bad before marriage and then ok after, what if you end up marrying this person anyway? Its your life, do what you want and don't feel restricted by do-gooders and beliefs, I'm sure those who preach the pre-marital sex is bad had probably engaged in this themselves.
As a catholic, i think that to interpret the bible literally just isnt logical any more. We're living in a totally different time and society and i think that, while many of the values preached in the bible are key to a moral life or whatever, the stance on contraception and sex before marriage just isnt. Sex is no longer entirely about pro-creation- its a natual, healthy and largely necessary part of any adult relationship. The no contraception 'rule' is just irresponsible- it makes me really quite angry that the church continues to preach that.
If you love your girlfriend, and you're prepared to take responsiblity for your actions and all the rest then I really would say go for it. UNLESS its going to make you feel guilty and all the rest- that wont be fun for you or your girlfriend. Go with what feels right, but try to do it for the right reasons for you.
If you love your girlfriend, and you're prepared to take responsiblity for your actions and all the rest then I really would say go for it. UNLESS its going to make you feel guilty and all the rest- that wont be fun for you or your girlfriend. Go with what feels right, but try to do it for the right reasons for you.
Anonymous
Right, first off - I am a catholic. I have been all my life becuase my family is catholic. I like to think that I have a reasonable moral stance on life, I can usually see when things are wrong or immoral....and I am considered a quiet and very calm person by my friends.
If you're only Catholic because your family are Catholic, are you really Catholic at all? I'm Catholic 'by blood' as it were, but not by belief. Do what's right for you, not what's right for your religion.
I read a theory once (in a Supergirl comic, actually) that God knows everything, but not everything there is TO know. The theory goes that he created the universe so he could learn, therefore by observing the behavioural patterns of mankind and how our society has evolved, he is learning and could therefore change his position on certain things with his new knowledge.
After all, how could even God know what we would do if he gave us free will? The theory points out that he's omnipotent, so to stop Adam eating the apple he could've put the tree on top of an unscaleable mountain, put it inside an electrified fence, whatever, but he thought all he had to do was say "don't do it," which any newbie parent knows won't work, it will just make the kid want it more. But there had never been people with free will before, so God didn't know.
What a great theory to read, inside of a Supergirl comic, no less.
After all, how could even God know what we would do if he gave us free will? The theory points out that he's omnipotent, so to stop Adam eating the apple he could've put the tree on top of an unscaleable mountain, put it inside an electrified fence, whatever, but he thought all he had to do was say "don't do it," which any newbie parent knows won't work, it will just make the kid want it more. But there had never been people with free will before, so God didn't know.
What a great theory to read, inside of a Supergirl comic, no less.
I like that theory.
Forgot to mention that Im catholic by blood, not by belief. Probably why i like that theory; drives my mother wild because i tend to dissect and analyse the bible.
Forgot to mention that Im catholic by blood, not by belief. Probably why i like that theory; drives my mother wild because i tend to dissect and analyse the bible.
I'm protestant but no less believe that sex should belong in marrige (male)
You were brought up as a Catholic, and therefore if that is what you believe you should stick to it, and resist temptation.. isn't that in itself rather beautiful?
You were brought up as a Catholic, and therefore if that is what you believe you should stick to it, and resist temptation.. isn't that in itself rather beautiful?
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