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Shyness is ruining me....
Right here I go… I’m a girl, I’ve found that whenever I go to 6th form, I turn into a different person.
And in this different person, I feel totally shy and I hardly talk to anyone, I feel insecure and think no-one else likes me. I’m quite clever, got decent GCSES and AS results, though in class, I’m even too scared to talk to my teachers even when I’ve been with the same teacher for the whole school year!And I can't talk in front of the whole class.... I feel so down.
It’s getting pathetic and I’m in my last year. I can’t even bring myself to ask questions even when I want to. I'm applying to university soon but I don't feel motivated. I feel really childish.
In the past, I’ve had panic attacks and always worried, get upset easily...maybe this still affects me now.I don't know why I act like this. Even when I get home, I'm so tired and can't be bothered to do things. I'm starting to think I'm so pointless in everything.
You’re all probably thinking, what a typical teenager… get a life and try and be confident! I can’t bring myself to be confident no matter what I do and how I TRY. I don’t know what’s affecting me in this way. Does anyone know what I can do to be much happier and less shy
.I feel like ****e... I really need some helpful advice.
And in this different person, I feel totally shy and I hardly talk to anyone, I feel insecure and think no-one else likes me. I’m quite clever, got decent GCSES and AS results, though in class, I’m even too scared to talk to my teachers even when I’ve been with the same teacher for the whole school year!And I can't talk in front of the whole class.... I feel so down.
It’s getting pathetic and I’m in my last year. I can’t even bring myself to ask questions even when I want to. I'm applying to university soon but I don't feel motivated. I feel really childish.
In the past, I’ve had panic attacks and always worried, get upset easily...maybe this still affects me now.I don't know why I act like this. Even when I get home, I'm so tired and can't be bothered to do things. I'm starting to think I'm so pointless in everything.
You’re all probably thinking, what a typical teenager… get a life and try and be confident! I can’t bring myself to be confident no matter what I do and how I TRY. I don’t know what’s affecting me in this way. Does anyone know what I can do to be much happier and less shy
.I feel like ****e... I really need some helpful advice.Reply 1
Anonymous
Right here I go… I’m a girl, I’ve found that whenever I go to 6th form, I turn into a different person.
And in this different person, I feel totally shy and I hardly talk to anyone, I feel insecure and think no-one else likes me. I’m quite clever, got decent GCSES and AS results, though in class, I’m even too scared to talk to my teachers even when I’ve been with the same teacher for the whole school year!And I can't talk in front of the whole class.... I feel so down.
It’s getting pathetic and I’m in my last year. I can’t even bring myself to ask questions even when I want to. I'm applying to university soon but I don't feel motivated. I feel really childish.
In the past, I’ve had panic attacks and always worried, get upset easily...maybe this still affects me now.I don't know why I act like this. Even when I get home, I'm so tired and can't be bothered to do things. I'm starting to think I'm so pointless in everything.
You’re all probably thinking, what a typical teenager… get a life and try and be confident! I can’t bring myself to be confident no matter what I do and how I TRY. I don’t know what’s affecting me in this way. Does anyone know what I can do to be much happier and less shy .I feel like ****e... I really need some helpful advice.
And in this different person, I feel totally shy and I hardly talk to anyone, I feel insecure and think no-one else likes me. I’m quite clever, got decent GCSES and AS results, though in class, I’m even too scared to talk to my teachers even when I’ve been with the same teacher for the whole school year!And I can't talk in front of the whole class.... I feel so down.
It’s getting pathetic and I’m in my last year. I can’t even bring myself to ask questions even when I want to. I'm applying to university soon but I don't feel motivated. I feel really childish.
In the past, I’ve had panic attacks and always worried, get upset easily...maybe this still affects me now.I don't know why I act like this. Even when I get home, I'm so tired and can't be bothered to do things. I'm starting to think I'm so pointless in everything.
You’re all probably thinking, what a typical teenager… get a life and try and be confident! I can’t bring myself to be confident no matter what I do and how I TRY. I don’t know what’s affecting me in this way. Does anyone know what I can do to be much happier and less shy
.I feel like ****e... I really need some helpful advice.Awww. Don't worry. I used to be exactly like you. I just tried talking more and getting involved. Get a hobby, join a club. Who cares what anyone else thinks? I know it might seem scary if you're shy but go for it, what have you got to lose?
Anonymous
Right here I go… I’m a girl, I’ve found that whenever I go to 6th form, I turn into a different person.
And in this different person, I feel totally shy and I hardly talk to anyone, I feel insecure and think no-one else likes me. I’m quite clever, got decent GCSES and AS results, though in class, I’m even too scared to talk to my teachers even when I’ve been with the same teacher for the whole school year!And I can't talk in front of the whole class.... I feel so down.
It’s getting pathetic and I’m in my last year. I can’t even bring myself to ask questions even when I want to. I'm applying to university soon but I don't feel motivated. I feel really childish.
In the past, I’ve had panic attacks and always worried, get upset easily...maybe this still affects me now.I don't know why I act like this. Even when I get home, I'm so tired and can't be bothered to do things. I'm starting to think I'm so pointless in everything.
You’re all probably thinking, what a typical teenager… get a life and try and be confident! I can’t bring myself to be confident no matter what I do and how I TRY. I don’t know what’s affecting me in this way. Does anyone know what I can do to be much happier and less shy .I feel like ****e... I really need some helpful advice.
And in this different person, I feel totally shy and I hardly talk to anyone, I feel insecure and think no-one else likes me. I’m quite clever, got decent GCSES and AS results, though in class, I’m even too scared to talk to my teachers even when I’ve been with the same teacher for the whole school year!And I can't talk in front of the whole class.... I feel so down.
It’s getting pathetic and I’m in my last year. I can’t even bring myself to ask questions even when I want to. I'm applying to university soon but I don't feel motivated. I feel really childish.
In the past, I’ve had panic attacks and always worried, get upset easily...maybe this still affects me now.I don't know why I act like this. Even when I get home, I'm so tired and can't be bothered to do things. I'm starting to think I'm so pointless in everything.
You’re all probably thinking, what a typical teenager… get a life and try and be confident! I can’t bring myself to be confident no matter what I do and how I TRY. I don’t know what’s affecting me in this way. Does anyone know what I can do to be much happier and less shy
.I feel like ****e... I really need some helpful advice.Im a boy, and im just as shy as you (maybe more
). Im sure everything will be just fine, sooner or later us shy people will become more confident
advice..
forget about what anyone else thinks. at the end of the day 6th form is going to be nowhere near as bad as the real world, and if you don't develop confidence to even tell the teacher that you don't understand something, in the nicest way possible you won't get anywhere!
if you have potential, don't be scared to speak out. what will you lose..? ask yourself, whats the worst that could happen if you spoke a bit more? if anything people will talk to you more back, its really intimdating for me to sit next to a really quiet person because we have nothing to talk about. i'm sure most people would feel like that around you.
being shy's a lot worse than being confident, but not as bad as overconfident.
i'm sure you're a lovely person, we all are, but until you show people your personality everyone will just think you're a quiet person.
stop thinking about what others may think of you, you're now in 6th form and these evidently could be the most important time of your educational life!! don't let yourself hide in the corner, express yourself!
im rubbish at giving any good advice, if anything i come across as blunt, but its a hard world...
forget about what anyone else thinks. at the end of the day 6th form is going to be nowhere near as bad as the real world, and if you don't develop confidence to even tell the teacher that you don't understand something, in the nicest way possible you won't get anywhere!
if you have potential, don't be scared to speak out. what will you lose..? ask yourself, whats the worst that could happen if you spoke a bit more? if anything people will talk to you more back, its really intimdating for me to sit next to a really quiet person because we have nothing to talk about. i'm sure most people would feel like that around you.
being shy's a lot worse than being confident, but not as bad as overconfident.
i'm sure you're a lovely person, we all are, but until you show people your personality everyone will just think you're a quiet person.
stop thinking about what others may think of you, you're now in 6th form and these evidently could be the most important time of your educational life!! don't let yourself hide in the corner, express yourself!
im rubbish at giving any good advice, if anything i come across as blunt, but its a hard world...
Reply 4
Im just like you except studying my gcses rather than my a levels! Maybe think about what really makes you shy? Are you just a shy person or just when your at school? Like the other posts say join a club that can make you speak out and make friends ! Maybe talk to one of your tutors about it or a teacher you feel will understand you then maybe doing some sort of revision lesson if the teacher is willing and then you could build up talking to them on your own . Or you could just say hi and have a chit chat to people like when queueing up for something that way they are likley to be people you are never going to meet again!
Reply 5
you can do it!! your teachers would rather you asked them for help than be stuck. thats what they are there for.
theres no shame in being shy, ive been there and its a case of doing something a bit more out going than you would normally do. hang with your friends at 6th form, let them introduce you to people that they know and all of a sudden youll have loads of friends! spend time in the 6th form bistro/common room and youll suddenly feel happier and at ease knowing you got friends and you then can confide in them about how you are feeling and they can help you through it.
dont think that no one likes you. there will be people that like you!! im sure you have friends.
people arent going to think any different if you speak up in class. if anything they will talk to you more.
get going with your university applications! you can do it. dont feel childish, your in yr13, your not an adult yet, there are people to help motivate you and guide you.
i hope that this helps and that your ok
theres no shame in being shy, ive been there and its a case of doing something a bit more out going than you would normally do. hang with your friends at 6th form, let them introduce you to people that they know and all of a sudden youll have loads of friends! spend time in the 6th form bistro/common room and youll suddenly feel happier and at ease knowing you got friends and you then can confide in them about how you are feeling and they can help you through it.
dont think that no one likes you. there will be people that like you!! im sure you have friends.
people arent going to think any different if you speak up in class. if anything they will talk to you more.
get going with your university applications! you can do it. dont feel childish, your in yr13, your not an adult yet, there are people to help motivate you and guide you.
i hope that this helps and that your ok
Reply 6
This time last year i was in a similar position(except im male). Discovered i had social anxiety. Im not saying you have it but try www.social-anxiety.org.uk and you might some more useful information.
Shyness(or social phobia) is the most common phobia out of them all, everyone can be shy sometimes and your probably just going through a faze. But try that site, you can get some good advice on becoming more confident and talkative.
I totaly understand what you mean, but i can also promise you that shyness is not forever if you are motivated enough to tackle it.
Shyness(or social phobia) is the most common phobia out of them all, everyone can be shy sometimes and your probably just going through a faze. But try that site, you can get some good advice on becoming more confident and talkative.
I totaly understand what you mean, but i can also promise you that shyness is not forever if you are motivated enough to tackle it.
Reply 7
Anonymous
Right here I go… I’m a girl, I’ve found that whenever I go to 6th form, I turn into a different person.
And in this different person, I feel totally shy and I hardly talk to anyone, I feel insecure and think no-one else likes me. I’m quite clever, got decent GCSES and AS results, though in class, I’m even too scared to talk to my teachers even when I’ve been with the same teacher for the whole school year!And I can't talk in front of the whole class.... I feel so down.
It’s getting pathetic and I’m in my last year. I can’t even bring myself to ask questions even when I want to. I'm applying to university soon but I don't feel motivated. I feel really childish.
In the past, I’ve had panic attacks and always worried, get upset easily...maybe this still affects me now.I don't know why I act like this. Even when I get home, I'm so tired and can't be bothered to do things. I'm starting to think I'm so pointless in everything.
You’re all probably thinking, what a typical teenager… get a life and try and be confident! I can’t bring myself to be confident no matter what I do and how I TRY. I don’t know what’s affecting me in this way. Does anyone know what I can do to be much happier and less shy .I feel like ****e... I really need some helpful advice.
And in this different person, I feel totally shy and I hardly talk to anyone, I feel insecure and think no-one else likes me. I’m quite clever, got decent GCSES and AS results, though in class, I’m even too scared to talk to my teachers even when I’ve been with the same teacher for the whole school year!And I can't talk in front of the whole class.... I feel so down.
It’s getting pathetic and I’m in my last year. I can’t even bring myself to ask questions even when I want to. I'm applying to university soon but I don't feel motivated. I feel really childish.
In the past, I’ve had panic attacks and always worried, get upset easily...maybe this still affects me now.I don't know why I act like this. Even when I get home, I'm so tired and can't be bothered to do things. I'm starting to think I'm so pointless in everything.
You’re all probably thinking, what a typical teenager… get a life and try and be confident! I can’t bring myself to be confident no matter what I do and how I TRY. I don’t know what’s affecting me in this way. Does anyone know what I can do to be much happier and less shy
.I feel like ****e... I really need some helpful advice.I know it sounds corny when people say this but I used to be exactly like you.
My advice to you is to recognise that you do have a valid opinion and that your teachers really do want to hear it. One of my problems was that I was scared by other people, what I had to realise was that no one else in my class (apart from the teacher of course) was more important than me, and that if I say something it's just as valid as the popular person who always speaks.
It may be that you've been branded the quiet shy one and so your classmates may be surprised or perhaps even resentful if suddenly you find your confidence but try not to let this get to you. - One of the best things about a new start is that no one will be surprised if you speak, so Uni is an excellent opportunity!
Failing this, speak through your problems with the teacher you feel closet to, they're also there for pastoral support. You might even find another pupil who you can speak to about your problems.
Try to be honest with yourself and everyone around you about how you feel and above all don't waste your life because you're too afraid or shy to embrace it.
milesmartin
This time last year i was in a similar position(except im male). Discovered i had social anxiety. Im not saying you have it but try www.social-anxiety.org.uk and you might some more useful information.
Shyness(or social phobia) is the most common phobia out of them all, everyone can be shy sometimes and your probably just going through a faze. But try that site, you can get some good advice on becoming more confident and talkative.
I totaly understand what you mean, but i can also promise you that shyness is not forever if you are motivated enough to tackle it.
Shyness(or social phobia) is the most common phobia out of them all, everyone can be shy sometimes and your probably just going through a faze. But try that site, you can get some good advice on becoming more confident and talkative.
I totaly understand what you mean, but i can also promise you that shyness is not forever if you are motivated enough to tackle it.
according to that site i have Avoidant Personality Disorder
Cant really disagree with it either Reply 9
sisalto
I know it sounds corny when people say this but I used to be exactly like you.
My advice to you is to recognise that you do have a valid opinion and that your teachers really do want to hear it. One of my problems was that I was scared by other people, what I had to realise was that no one else in my class (apart from the teacher of course) was more important than me, and that if I say something it's just as valid as the popular person who always speaks.
It may be that you've been branded the quiet shy one and so your classmates may be surprised or perhaps even resentful if suddenly you find your confidence but try not to let this get to you. - One of the best things about a new start is that no one will be surprised if you speak, so Uni is an excellent opportunity!
Failing this, speak through your problems with the teacher you feel closet to, they're also there for pastoral support. You might even find another pupil who you can speak to about your problems.
Try to be honest with yourself and everyone around you about how you feel and above all don't waste your life because you're too afraid or shy to embrace it.
My advice to you is to recognise that you do have a valid opinion and that your teachers really do want to hear it. One of my problems was that I was scared by other people, what I had to realise was that no one else in my class (apart from the teacher of course) was more important than me, and that if I say something it's just as valid as the popular person who always speaks.
It may be that you've been branded the quiet shy one and so your classmates may be surprised or perhaps even resentful if suddenly you find your confidence but try not to let this get to you. - One of the best things about a new start is that no one will be surprised if you speak, so Uni is an excellent opportunity!
Failing this, speak through your problems with the teacher you feel closet to, they're also there for pastoral support. You might even find another pupil who you can speak to about your problems.
Try to be honest with yourself and everyone around you about how you feel and above all don't waste your life because you're too afraid or shy to embrace it.
Yes that's exactly what it is, I'm scared of how other people reacts to me especially the loud and confident ones...
Thanks everyone for giving me good advices... I hope I'll become more confident soon...
How are some people confident though? what makes them really talkative?
I used to be exactly like you, very self concious about everything, mainly cos i had a v bad time at primary/2ndry school
learning not to be bothered by people's oppinions is definatly the hardest part to get through. I was lucky because i met a gal completely by luck, around whom i could and was completely relaxed, she is still easily the best thing to ever have happened to me (ironically i havent spoken to her properly in about a year after a pretty big falling out, lol but thats another story
). For a while after, whever i started to feel nervous i just thought back to this exact time, when everything was for a moment perfect, remembered how it felt and made myself feel as relaxed. Doing this definately helped change me, so it might be worth you just closing your eyes nd trying to remember the best moment of your life, exactly how you felt and who/what made you feel like this, whenever your feeling down, self concious or nervous.
People who just say "be yourself" have clearly never been in this kind of situation tho and so no idea of how useless this advice really is, because i know it really isnt that easy. Days on end i was trying to ignore individual things and it didnt work. Doing the above though, while forcing the attitude home of "why should i be bothered about what people think" really helped tho.
One thing that you said though id like to correct quickly - just because someone is talkative doesnt have to mean theyre confident (eg some people talk more when theyre nervous). Ive always been a naturally quiet person (my family even had difficulty teaching me to speak lol) and still am, but confidence is more than talking. Its being able to argue and defend your views intelligently, and even little things like how you stand, dress and walk.
short of something similar happening to you that happened to me, attitudes cant be changed overnight. But you can dress more confidently (wear brighter colours or something very different, have a more unique hair style). How the way you dress makes you feel is very important, learn to look in the mirror and like who you see. . Walking with confidence is easy enough as well, look up at where your going instead of where your feet are going.
hope something here helps, and try to look forward to uni cos the people you live with will make sure you have a great time, no matter how shy you are when you get there. anyway, remember shyness is still an attractive quality to alot of guys (i like it lol)
learning not to be bothered by people's oppinions is definatly the hardest part to get through. I was lucky because i met a gal completely by luck, around whom i could and was completely relaxed, she is still easily the best thing to ever have happened to me (ironically i havent spoken to her properly in about a year after a pretty big falling out, lol but thats another story
). For a while after, whever i started to feel nervous i just thought back to this exact time, when everything was for a moment perfect, remembered how it felt and made myself feel as relaxed. Doing this definately helped change me, so it might be worth you just closing your eyes nd trying to remember the best moment of your life, exactly how you felt and who/what made you feel like this, whenever your feeling down, self concious or nervous.People who just say "be yourself" have clearly never been in this kind of situation tho and so no idea of how useless this advice really is, because i know it really isnt that easy. Days on end i was trying to ignore individual things and it didnt work. Doing the above though, while forcing the attitude home of "why should i be bothered about what people think" really helped tho.
One thing that you said though id like to correct quickly - just because someone is talkative doesnt have to mean theyre confident (eg some people talk more when theyre nervous). Ive always been a naturally quiet person (my family even had difficulty teaching me to speak lol) and still am, but confidence is more than talking. Its being able to argue and defend your views intelligently, and even little things like how you stand, dress and walk.
short of something similar happening to you that happened to me, attitudes cant be changed overnight. But you can dress more confidently (wear brighter colours or something very different, have a more unique hair style). How the way you dress makes you feel is very important, learn to look in the mirror and like who you see. . Walking with confidence is easy enough as well, look up at where your going instead of where your feet are going.
hope something here helps, and try to look forward to uni cos the people you live with will make sure you have a great time, no matter how shy you are when you get there. anyway, remember shyness is still an attractive quality to alot of guys (i like it lol)
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