The Student Room Group

Motivation & inadequacy Rant Problem

Hmm... I'm just ranting here and prehaps looking for solutions.

At the moment I feel as if I'm screwing up my life by getting grades lower than I had expected for myself and what my parents would have expected from me.

Since I was little, and being in an asian family with many cousins. I have always had an idea of competition in my head along with pressures. However as I grew older I got addicted to things that caused me to get sidetracked and overtime people lost "faith" in my acheving decent grades. My parents would still want high grades from me but they wouldn't be shocked if I came back with horrible grades. They'd be mildly disappointed and point to me that I should try do better next time.

Now I'm stuck in a rut.

I don't have the ability to achieve brilliant grades compared to some of my cousins, and I don't have any special talents for myself such as being able to play an instrument or a particular sport. Its kinda depressing the fact that I have little to nothing to offer compared with my cousins who are about to start first years in university.

You could say that I'm a little envious of them, however I don't hold it against them since they put in hard work to achieve what they have done. I would love to be with them acheving things in my life. The problem that comes in is motivation though....

Since I'm always looking at the fact that they are better than me, competition wise. I always get this horrible feeling that I can never beat some of them no matter how hard I try.

I know its probably a stupid idea, there are always going to be people who are clever than you, friendlier whatever.

But the thing is that since I get this idea they're better than me, I feel like I'm always settling for 2nd best within the class. I don't aim for the top, to be number 1, to achieve the best possible grade I can get and thats seriously hindering me trying to do well.

When I look at people playing instruments for several years, as much as I'd love to learn it... I get put off by the fact that close cousins are already grade 4 and much younger than me. I don't even bother starting I give up immedinatly.

What the heck am I doing wrong, Is there anything I can do and does anyone else ever get these problems.