This discussion is now closed.
Check out other Related discussions
- Bullying because of being bisexual
- im going to lose my friends :(
- I’m pansexual and I want a new boyfriend
- Clingy friend affecting me making new friendships
- Not going to SIXTH FORM (YR 13) Prom cause my friends are toxic.
- Trouble settling in at uni
- Friendship Jealousy?
- no friends
- Nervous about starting uni again
- am i annoying my flatemate by asking them to hangout?
- Going to friends lecturers
- was i in the wrong?
- Friend won't leave me alone
- I sent my CS coursework to someone
- dealing with bullies?
- is it weird to have no social media
- Abuser making out I’m the abuser
- Dilemma! Do I keep my great job or accept my masters degree offer
- trouble replying and making posts
- Can I change schools a term into year 12?
having trouble with making new friends
i just started my foundation arts course today.
i felt sooo awkward and nervous and immature and stupid. i found it incredibly hard to talk to or connect with people. i've always found it very hard to do this, but it's worrying me even more at the moment because the course is in london and london is very big and impersonal and most people mind their own business.
i would've thought it would be easier because everyone was new and looking for someone new to meet, but i tried so hard just to talk or make conversation but ended up sounding dumb or eventually withdrawing from the conversation from not knowing what to say. i just don't know what to say.. when i'm with people i know, i can honestly say that i'm quite lively but with other people i just bottle up.
the course is pretty strict too. we're not allowed to chat to eachother while working.
i'm a really insecure person.. about my personality and my looks.. i don't know.. i guess my whole life, i've been taught to shut up and it's hard to get out of the habit.
i'm also not looking forward that much to freshers week... the events are going to be in fabric and koko which are pretty big places and it'll be really hard to meet people.. i don't think people would want to meet me anyway. i'm not self pitying i just GRRR i don't knowwwww... i don't see what's appealing about me.
please help me overcome this shyness or suggest reasons how i can. it's really bothering me and makes me feel even more insecure.. like a cycle.
i felt sooo awkward and nervous and immature and stupid. i found it incredibly hard to talk to or connect with people. i've always found it very hard to do this, but it's worrying me even more at the moment because the course is in london and london is very big and impersonal and most people mind their own business.
i would've thought it would be easier because everyone was new and looking for someone new to meet, but i tried so hard just to talk or make conversation but ended up sounding dumb or eventually withdrawing from the conversation from not knowing what to say. i just don't know what to say.. when i'm with people i know, i can honestly say that i'm quite lively but with other people i just bottle up.
the course is pretty strict too. we're not allowed to chat to eachother while working.
i'm a really insecure person.. about my personality and my looks.. i don't know.. i guess my whole life, i've been taught to shut up and it's hard to get out of the habit.
i'm also not looking forward that much to freshers week... the events are going to be in fabric and koko which are pretty big places and it'll be really hard to meet people.. i don't think people would want to meet me anyway. i'm not self pitying i just GRRR i don't knowwwww... i don't see what's appealing about me.
please help me overcome this shyness or suggest reasons how i can. it's really bothering me and makes me feel even more insecure.. like a cycle.
Don't worry about it, one of my friends felt like this on her art foundation course. The key is introduce yourself and ask about the person and background etc - not too much information as it may seem invasive.
The first few days are always hard but you will soon settle in. You could always suggest going for a coffee to get to know the others more as you are not allowed to chat in the lesson.
The first few days are always hard but you will soon settle in. You could always suggest going for a coffee to get to know the others more as you are not allowed to chat in the lesson.
Reply 2
It's counter intuitive but the harder you try to make friends with people, the more you will come off as needy and try hard and so push them away. Try to relax, sit back and just calmly talk to the person.
Reply 3
Everybody finds it difficult for their first week at uni, trust me. Are you living in a halls or residence or student flat? Because if you are, then everybody will be going to these events together. When you go out and get a bit tipsy with people, conversations just spring up without you even trying. Then something funny will happen and you will have an event which will connect you all!
If you're not in halls, then why not just ask a couple of people on your course if they're going to the events. Chances are they will be, and then you can arrange to meet up and go with them, maybe even meeting at their flat/room to get ready together.
As somebody said, just ask questions about them and their background, if they're got a boyfriend/girlfriend, what type of art stuff they like best, what type of music or film they're into, just whatever you can think of! Tell stories about your summer or arty things that they would appreciate.
One last thing - my mate from London absolutely LOVES Kokos and Fabric, so I would advise you to go!! You'll chat to lots of people whilst you're out and about.
One thing about uni is that you can use it to totally reinvent yourself, at least for a short time. SO tell yourself that you don't care about awkwardness, or what people think about you, because they'll all be just as desperate for friends as you. Just go up to people and do it. It's one of the only times in you'll life that you'l be able to disregard any ideas that people have about you (or that you ahve about yourself), and just walk up to anybody and talk to them.
Go for it!! The worst that could happen is somebody thinking that you're a bit odd :P and that happens to me all the time.
If you're not in halls, then why not just ask a couple of people on your course if they're going to the events. Chances are they will be, and then you can arrange to meet up and go with them, maybe even meeting at their flat/room to get ready together.
As somebody said, just ask questions about them and their background, if they're got a boyfriend/girlfriend, what type of art stuff they like best, what type of music or film they're into, just whatever you can think of! Tell stories about your summer or arty things that they would appreciate.
One last thing - my mate from London absolutely LOVES Kokos and Fabric, so I would advise you to go!! You'll chat to lots of people whilst you're out and about.
One thing about uni is that you can use it to totally reinvent yourself, at least for a short time. SO tell yourself that you don't care about awkwardness, or what people think about you, because they'll all be just as desperate for friends as you. Just go up to people and do it. It's one of the only times in you'll life that you'l be able to disregard any ideas that people have about you (or that you ahve about yourself), and just walk up to anybody and talk to them.
Go for it!! The worst that could happen is somebody thinking that you're a bit odd :P and that happens to me all the time.
Reply 4
thank you for the help 
i'll try to be more outgoing tomorrow.
i'll try to be more outgoing tomorrow.Reply 5
Dont worry I am finding it hard to connect with peeps at the moment!!
I went to school with the same people for like 8 years so its really hard now to have to try and make some new friends
I knwo exactly what you are going through but i am hoping that as time passes we will become friends
Glad someone else is in the same postion!!
I went to school with the same people for like 8 years so its really hard now to have to try and make some new friends
I knwo exactly what you are going through but i am hoping that as time passes we will become friends
Glad someone else is in the same postion!!
Related discussions
- Bullying because of being bisexual
- im going to lose my friends :(
- I’m pansexual and I want a new boyfriend
- Clingy friend affecting me making new friendships
- Not going to SIXTH FORM (YR 13) Prom cause my friends are toxic.
- Trouble settling in at uni
- Friendship Jealousy?
- no friends
- Nervous about starting uni again
- am i annoying my flatemate by asking them to hangout?
- Going to friends lecturers
- was i in the wrong?
- Friend won't leave me alone
- I sent my CS coursework to someone
- dealing with bullies?
- is it weird to have no social media
- Abuser making out I’m the abuser
- Dilemma! Do I keep my great job or accept my masters degree offer
- trouble replying and making posts
- Can I change schools a term into year 12?
Latest
Trending
Last reply 2 months ago
Engineering vs. Medicine: Stuck Between Dreams and ExpectationsLast reply 2 months ago
heyyy , im new heree and im willing to have some friends xxxLast reply 2 months ago
Im 16 and never had a gf and it doesnt feel ok.
