Do relationships last through Uni? Watch

sophie8
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So my boyfriend has just currently started Uni and ill be going next year.
Obviously id love to go there with him and so would he but there are other Universities which are just so much better for my course.
Can a relationship last when your at separate places?

Also for us to visit each other its like 5 hours travelling time
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democracyforum
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I think it depends.
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pinkbullets
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Some do, some don't. It depends how much the two people trust, love and respect each other. It also depends on communication, compatibility and financial circumstances.
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TenOfThem
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(Original post by sophie8)
So my boyfriend has just currently started Uni and ill be going next year.
Obviously id love to go there with him and so would he but there are other Universities which are just so much better for my course.
Can a relationship last when your at separate places?

Also for us to visit each other its like 5 hours travelling time
Some do and some don't

They are less likely to if one of you has compromised on university choice in order to be with the other, IME
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Mankytoes
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(Original post by sophie8)
So my boyfriend has just currently started Uni and ill be going next year.
Obviously id love to go there with him and so would he but there are other Universities which are just so much better for my course.
Can a relationship last when your at separate places?

Also for us to visit each other its like 5 hours travelling time
Rarely to be honest, people change a lot over this time. Please do not make your uni choices based on where he is. Most relationships don't survive one person going to uni for a year, so you really shouldn't be making big life choices based on this. If you are one of these exceptional 1% of couples who make it through this, you will do at separate unis.

There was a girl in my halls who went to uni with her boyfriend, she never really hung out with us. I met her in second year and she went on about how it had ruined her first year, stopped her making friends, how much she resented him.
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sophie8
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(Original post by Mankytoes)
Rarely to be honest, people change a lot over this time. Please do not make your uni choices based on where he is. Most relationships don't survive one person going to uni for a year, so you really shouldn't be making big life choices based on this. If you are one of these exceptional 1% of couples who make it through this, you will do at separate unis.

There was a girl in my halls who went to uni with her boyfriend, she never really hung out with us. I met her in second year and she went on about how it had ruined her first year, stopped her making friends, how much she resented him.
Well his Uni isnt going to be my firm choice because I dont know whether or not its even any good for my course. And I know it can ruin how connect with others but to be honest hes been getting on fine with others so I dont know
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username163729
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I think people are too optimistic. It's some do, most don't. I'd probably say that maybe 70%+ relationships that start before uni, don't go beyond uni (based off my experience).

I've been there already, I was in a relationship that started in the summer right before uni. We managed a year and a half, but various reasons and the fact I felt like I was missing out on the whole uni experience meant I was always a bit bothered by being in an LDR. I think if anything's not quite right in your relationship, the distance and being at university will only help to exacerbate the situation. Quite a few people I knew didn't even last the first semester let alone the first year. Interestingly, nearly all of my closest friends were single when I met them.

Thing is, people are young and whilst a 3/4 year relationship isn't really that 'long', it can seem like an age when you go into a new environment where everything is so hectic, new and shortlived. You might meet new people which make you start questioning the quality of your relationship, you might want to feel sexually liberated and have the freedom to do that outside of a relationship or you just might want to have an excuse to leave your relationship.

There's some pressure for everyone to feel like they're not being boring and making the most of their time at uni. Being in a relationship makes it harder to be 'fun' all the time and be able do things that you might have wanted to do. Maybe you might want to be part of a few societies and they do things over the weekends, but you have to go see your LDR partner instead. Maybe your partner's uncomfortable with you going out loads and only a compromise to go out half the amount will satisfy them. Maybe your housemates will be doing stuff you want to get involved in, but your partner wants to shack up in your room instead. There were many occasions, particularly at the weekends where I felt I was missing out.

If you proceed with a relationship like that, you'll find you'll have to make a lot of compromises on your university experience. The way I see it though, good relationships are practically a dime a dozen whilst a uni experience like your undergraduate years are almost once in a lifetime.
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